A Presentation of CWF Mayhem
(Sponsored by Timex)
April 25, 1999
From the Key Arena in Seattle, Washington
ANNOUNCED CARD
THE MAIN EVENT
North American Heavyweight Title Match
Sabu (C) vs. Lash LeRoux
North American Tag Title Match
Three-Way Dance
Test & Hakushi (C) vs. Hostile Takeover vs. D'Lo Brown & Mystery Partner
Above & Beyond Tournament
Semifinal
Dean Malenko vs. Kurt Angle
Finals
Rob Van Dam vs. Malenko or Angle
Intercontinental Title Match
Gauntlet Match
Participants To Be Announced
Cruiserweight Title Match
Six-Man Mayhem -- winner of first fall is the new champ!
X-Pac vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Candido vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Super Calo
Special Attraction
Rob Van Dam vs. Mystery Opponent
[FADE IN to a small, confined space with wooden walls. A small wooden window slides open, revealing a latticework partition, with whatever’s on the other side draped in shadow.
Voice: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned…
A flickering image, as from a movie projector, begins to play on the side of the confessional box. In black and white, it depicts Chris Benoit striking Vince McMahon.
Voice: I have disrespected my elders…
[FADE] to an image of Tammy Sytch, striking a provocative pose.
Voice: I have had lustful thoughts…
[FADE] to a quick montage of some of the most brutal blows, hits and falls in CWF history.
Voice: I have raised my hand in anger many times…
[FADE] to an image of Sabu, in headdress and full regalia, holding his title belt in one hand and pointing to the sky with the other.
Voice: And I have coveted the belongings of my neighbor…
The image fades.
Voice: Father, will you accept my confession, and grant forgiveness?
There is silence.
Voice: F—Father?
A massive hand punches through the partition!
[FADE TO BLACK]
[CUT] to a spinning CWF logo.
Voiceover guy: The Charlottesville Wrestling Federation presents Redemption, brought to you by the Mayhem brand and sponsored by Timex watches.
[CUT] to a wide shot of the interior at Key Arena in
JR: Welcome everyone to Redemption! The Mayhem brand of the Charlottesville Wrestling Federation will make its official debut tonight on an unprecedented stage: live, and on pay-per-view!
[CUT] to JR and Heyman at their broadcast position, ringside.
JR: Good evening folks, good ol’ JR here to bring you the action, along with my new broadcast partner Paul Heyman. And tonight, Paul, we’ve got a tremendous card on tap.
Heyman: Four title matches, JR, and only one of them will be a one on one match. Also, we’ll conclude the Above and Beyond tournament, to see who will leave here tonight as the top contender for the North American Heavyweight Title.
JR: And with that, let’s go to the Fink.
Above & Beyond Tournament: Semifinal
Kurt Angle (w/ Haku) (0-0) VS. Dean Malenko (0-0)
20 minute time limit; referee: Nick Patrick
[CUT] to a shot of the arena from the ceiling.
Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, our opening contest tonight is a semifinal match in the Above and Beyond tournament! The winner advances to the final later tonight.
Dean Malenko’s music hits and a Jumbotron video of highlights of the Iceman plays on both screens. The massive doors swing open and the Iceman steps into the building to a mixed reaction as Finkel introduces him.
Heyman: JR, this is the best technical professional wrestler in the world today.
JR: For those of you who missed Sunday Night Slam, Malenko had some intense, impassioned words to say about tonight, and this opportunity. The draft split him and Chris Candido off from Ric Flair and the other Four Horsemen, but I don’t know if Malenko thinks that’s a bad thing.
Heyman: Well, whether it’s been the Triple Threat or the Horsemen, Malenko’s always been in the background. Always talented, no doubt, but in the background. But if you talk to anyone who ever wrestled the guy, he is one of the toughest opponents you will ever face.
As Malenko steps into the ring, his music is cut off and replaced by the horn fanfare of Kurt Angle’s “Medal” theme music.
JR: Here comes the Olympian…
The massive doors open and Angle steps through, the gold medals hanging around his neck. Haku is walking right beside Angle, snarling and looking only slightly less ravenous and sadistic than usual.
Heyman: The introductions for Kurt just aren’t be the same without Tony Schiavone, will they?
JR: No comment. Kurt Angle’s off to a great start here in the CWF. He’s never been pinned. Never submitted. But he and Haku just lost the United States Tag Titles days ago… that could be a factor.
[CUT] to a wide shot of the ring as Angle and Haku step through the ropes. The crowd showers Angle with boos, but he ignores them and hands his medals to the referee. Then Angle turns… and says something to Haku, pointing back up the aisle.
JR: I think Kurt Angle’s sending Haku away.
Heyman: What a statement! What a competitor! Angle wants to wrestle this match completely mano e mano.
Haku starts to leave, then turns and taps Angle on the shoulder. The Olympian turns… and Haku delivers an open-handed slap across the chest that echoes through the building! Angle reels away, clutching at his chest, as Haku gives Angle a thumb’s-up then hops off the apron and departs.
JR: Haku with one of those patented “Tongan tags” that we have started to expect from this odd couple…
The fans cheer and laugh at this, as Malenko runs over and catches Angle with a leaping forearm to the face, knocking him back into the corner! Malenko whips Angle into the far trio of turnbuckles, then connects on a back body drop that flings Angle HIGH into the air before he crashes to the canvas.
DING DING DING!
Angle flops over onto his stomach, grabbing at his back. He starts to push up to all fours, Malenko runs over and ensnares Angle in a rolling cradle.
One!
Two!
JR: Angle kicks out, and that was close!
Angle scrambles to try and stand, while Malenko calmly rolls to his feet. Spins Angle around and connects on a forearm to the jaw. Angle seems dazed, shakes it off and answers with a big punch.
JR: Angle with a very unscientific roundhouse right!
Malenko fires back with a right of his own! And Angle answers! The two men now slugging it out at center ring, trading some wicked blows!
Heyman: Look at this, JR!
JR: Malenko and Angle in a total slugfest! There is nothing technical about this brutal exchange!
Angle catches Malenko with a headbutt. Knee to the gut, followed by a gutwrench suplex. Angle gets up and he’s almost strutting back and forth as he talks trash.
JR: Angle certainly feeling his oats after that big suplex…
Malenko sits up, Angle delivers a running kick between the shoulder blades! The Iceman cringes and flops over onto his face, as Angle stands over him talking more trash.
Heyman: We’re seeing a different side of Kurt Angle in this match, and I’m liking it!
Angle drags Malenko to his feet and winds up for a measured overhand right to the jaw that puts Malenko right back down. Malenko trying to shake the cobwebs loose, as Angle pulls the Iceman to his feet—when Malenko pulls him down into an inside cradle!
One!
Two!
Thr—ANGLE KICKS OUT!
JR: And AGAIN Dean Malenko almost caught Angle in a pinning predicament…
Angle reels to his feet, bewildered, when Malenko takes him down with a legsweep kick. Angle starts scrambling to his feet again, Malenko catches him with a drop toehold and brings down the Olympian, going for a modified Indian deathlock.
JR: Dean Malenko’s giving Kurt Angle everything he can handle…
Heyman: Like I said, JR, his inexperience is going to show against a technician like Malenko.
Angle kicks free and scrambles up from his hands and knees, while Malenko smoothly rolls to his feet. Angle turns and Malenko catches him around the waist. Picks Angle up and drops him with a nasty double-leg takedown!
Heyman: Wow!
JR: And that was straight out of the amateur textbook!
Heyman: Kurt’s not gonna like that one bit…
Malenko immediately finds a vertical base and starts grabbing at Angle’s legs.
JR: Malenko going for the Texas Cloverleaf!
Angle twisting this way and that trying to resist, but Malenko wraps up Angle’s legs and starts trying to turn him over. Angle reaching for the ropes… and as Malenko turns him, Angle’s able to grab the bottom rope with one hand. Malenko immediately releases Angle and turns to face the Olympian, holding out two fingers an inch apart.
JR: With all these close calls, Malenko is getting into the head of his opponent.
Heyman: And again, Kurt’s not used to this.
That shows, as an enraged Angle springs off the mat and charges the Iceman. Instead, Malenko stops Angle in his tracks with a WICKED forearm uppercut! Angle staggers away from Malenko, who walks up behind Kurt and hits a flawless Russian legsweep. Floats over for a cover.
One…
Two…
Angle kicks out, but Malenko gets right to his feet.
He pulls Angle to a vertical base, but the Olympian catches Malenko with a knee to the gut, then a thumb to the eye. Angle sidles up and goes for the Olympic Slam… but Malenko hits an elbow smash to the back of the head to block. Legsweep takes down Angle, and he goes for the Cloverleaf again. But Angle gets one leg free and kicks Malenko away. As Angle starts to stand, Malenko catches him with a nasty knee lift! Follows with a wicked forearm shot between the shoulder blades.
Heyman: That’ll wake you up!
JR: Everything Angle does, Malenko has an answer for it…
Malenko goes for a belly to back suplex, Angle rolls through and hooks Malenko for a German, back elbow smash to the face by the Iceman breaks it up. The Iceman runs off into the ropes, goes for a running dropkick but Angle moves and Malenko eats canvas.
Heyman: Ankle lock, JR! Angle’s going for the ankle lock!
Malenko’s got enough presence to roll onto his back and kick Angle away before it’s hooked.
JR: And Ken Shamrock is not going to like Angle using the move the former UFC Champion sees as his signature submission hold.
Both men scramble to their feet. Malenko feints a dropkick, and Angle buys it entirely, ducking and turning away. When he doesn’t hear an impact, Angle turns to see a waiting Malenko leap and catch him flush in the face with a standing dropkick. Angle bails out to the floor as Malenko kips up, then goes into a crouch and beckons to Angle.
JR: Dean Malenko taunting Kurt Angle to get back into the ring!
Angle pounds on the ring apron in anger, and stalks back and forth on the floor as he tries to recollect himself.
Heyman: And for the first time we’re really seeing Kurt Angle look like a rookie. Dean Malenko may not have the amateur credentials of Angle—no one does—but he’s got the professional savvy to go with the technical expertise.
Malenko stays in his crouch, waiting for Angle to climb back into the squared circle. Angle milks a near-minute delay before slowly stepping through the ropes... and dropping to an all fours position. Angle barks something at Malenko, then lowers his head, pumping himself up.
JR: I think… is Kurt Angle challenging Malenko to an amateur wrestling test?
Heyman: Kurt’s trying to force this match back into his area of expertise.
Malenko circles one way, then the other sizing up Angle… before hitting a running kick to the ribs.
Heyman: HEY!
Angle rolls around on the canvas as Malenko just shakes his head at the Olympian as many of the fans cheer and laugh. Malenko pulls Angle to his feet and connects on a big roundhouse punch that sends Angle staggering back against the ropes. Malenko throws Angle into the southwest corner, then delivers a series of kicks to the midsection until Angle’s legs start to buckle.
JR: No technique here, Malenko is just pounding Angle now!
Kicks to the sternum and head follow until Angle’s seated in the corner.
Heyman: C’mon, ref, get in there!
JR: Kurt Angle is defenseless right now!
Heyman: Where was that in Malenko’s 1,000 holds, huh?
With Angle dazed, Malenko points to the far corner and jogs over… then sprints back across the ring and catches Angle with a big running knee to the face!
JR: GOOD LORD!
The fans ohhhh at the impact, as the Olympian sags lifeless in the corner.
JR: Kurt Angle might be out after that.
Heyman: No Haku, no Flip, Kurt might be regretting wrestling Malenko one-on-one.
JR: I bet Angle might even be wishing for Tony Schiavone right now!
Heyman: No one’s that desperate.
As the announcers banter, Malenko with a front facelock, hoists Angle up and into the air for a standing suplex. Malenko keeps the larger Angle up, actually taking a couple of steps back toward center ring. Heyman: Look at the strength!
The Iceman keeps Angle aloft as the fans count along…
10!
20!
Finally Malenko drops the hammer on the suplex. Angle stays down, cradling his back, and he is in deep trouble.
JR: Malenko just held the bigger Kurt Angle up for more than 20 seconds!
Heyman: And that makes the blood just rush to your head, JR. Kurt Angle is dazed right now, you can tell by looking in his eyes.
Malenko walks up behind Angle, hooks him by the waist, hits a classic wheelbarrow suplex. Follows up with a leaping knee drop to the head, followed by a driving elbow to the sternum. Cover by Malenko.
One…
Two…
Angle kicks out.
Malenko pulls him down into another cover.
One…
Two…
He kicks out again.
JR: The Iceman keeping the pressure on Angle…
Angle struggling to stand, but Malenko actually helps him up. Angle goes for a punch, Malenko blocks, fireman’s carry…
JR: GUTBUSTER!
Angle almost bounces off Malenko’s knee, and is left curled up on the canvas in the fetal position.
JR: Angle is down, but Malenko’s going up top!
Heyman: Might be time for the bulldog, JR…
JR: But by going to the top and waiting, he’s giving Angle time to recover.
Angle actually stands within a few seconds, and Malenko leaps off… but Angle moves and the Iceman crashes back-first to the canvas.
JR: Kurt had it scouted!
Malenko rolling to his feet favoring his lower back… Angle slides behind him and…
JR: OLYMPIC SLAM! ANGLE HITS THE OLYMPIC SLAM!
Heyman: Out of nowhere!
The impact’s so fierce Malenko bounces on the mat, rolling onto one side. Angle desperately crawls over to make the cover.
One!
Angle hooks the near leg.
Two!
Thre—Malenko’s free foot lists into the near ropes!
Heyman: What a mistake by Kurt! He had the Iceman beat there…
Referee Nick Patrick points to the foot, and a frustrated Angle rolls off and starts to argue about the count. Meanwhile, Malenko weakly rolls out to the floor to avoid another pin attempt.
JR: And Angle pays for it as Malenko escapes the ring to get a breather. Like you said, Paul, he had Malenko beat. I think if he’d made another cover at center ring right then, Angle would have gotten the win.
Heyman: But look at Kurt!
Angle’s currently doubled over in the ring.
Heyman: He’s trying to catch his breath. Dean Malenko has really pushed Angle to the limits like we’ve not seen the Olympic Champion pushed yet here in the pro ranks.
JR: No rest for Malenko, though, he’s still down on the outside…
Finally Angle pursues Malenko out to the floor, where he makes a bee line for the Iceman and… actually helps Malenko to his feet?
Heyman: Sportsmanship, JR!
JR: No countouts here on Mayhem. Angle knows he has to get it back in the ring to advance to the finals…
Angle starts to run Malenko in under the bottom rope, when Angle turns the Iceman and RAMS him into the ring steps. Malenko hits headfirst and crumples to the floor in a heap.
JR: Oh, COME ON!
Heyman: Hahaha! Now that’s the type of sportsmanship I can really support, JR.
JR: Reprehensible behavior by Angle.
Angle rolls Malenko’s lifeless carcass into the ring, follows under the bottom rope and goes for an immediate cover.
One!
Two!
Thre—shoulder up!
JR: Malenko gets out of it! Angle can’t believe it, but these fans are really starting to respond to the Iceman, Paul…
Angle immediately wrangles Malenko to his feet, connects on a crisp belly to back suplex.
One…
Two…
Malenko kicks out.
Once again Angle gets Malenko to a vertical base, then connects on a snap suplex.
JR: Textbook suplex there!
Angle floats over for another pin attempt.
One…
Two…
He kicks out again.
JR: It’s going to take more than a suplex to beat Dean Malenko…
Heyman: But the suplexes and the pin attempts are forcing the Iceman to expend more energy, JR. Angle’s been dragging for most of the match, I think he’s trying to gain that edge.
Angle stomps Malenko in the head, then gets him up by two handfuls of hair. Grabs him in a bearhug, but Malenko’s able to counter with a headbutt between the eyes. But Angle doesn’t release him. Another headbutt.
JR: Look at Malenko fight!
Malenko gets his arms free and hits a double ear clap!
Heyman: That’ll stop anybody in their tracks!
Angle lets go! Malenko dropkicks Angle in the knee, dropping the Olympian to a kneeling position. Malenko back into the ropes and charges off at Angle… the Olympian goes for a clothesline but Malenko ducks it! Angle turns, Malenko off the ropes with a Thesz press!
JR: Beautiful Thesz press!
One!
Two!
Angle somehow rolls through! And he’s got Malenko around the waist! RELEASE BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!
JR: GOOD GOD, MALENKO GOES FLYING!
Heyman: That was UNBELIEVABLE, JR!
Angle teeters a bit then goes for another cover.
One!
Two!
T—Malenko gets a shoulder up again!
JR: Malenko still in it!
Angle rolls over off Malenko, and both men stay down for a few seconds as the fans come to their feet in applause.
Heyman: Look at the show of appreciation, JR!
JR: I’m not sure I’ve ever seen an exchange like that… I’m not sure if you’d see it anywhere else! But the pace of this match has been absolutely non-stop.
Heyman: And remember, the winner has to wrestle again later tonight!
Angle starts pulling Malenko to his feet, when suddenly—
JR: Wait! Small package!!
One!
Two!
Angle reverses, one!
Two!
Malenko reverses!
One!
Two!
Angle kicks free! Both men struggling to their feet, Malenko with a takedown and a double leg bridge.
One!
Angle bridges up!
But he can’t hold, Malenko crashes back down on top of him!
One!
Two!
Angle bridges up a second time, turns 180 degrees with his hands around Malenko and the Iceman facing the canvas.
JR: Angle finally gains the upper hand after a series of pin attempts…
Angle picks Malenko up in a modified backbreaker… but Malenko wriggles free, hooking Angle on the way down for a sunset flip!
One!
Two!
Angle shoots a shoulder off the mat, rolls over and he’s got Malenko’s leg.
Heyman: He’s going for the ankle lock, JR!
JR: But Malenko twisting and fighting him with everything he’s got left!
Angle’s got Malenko’s foot… and he’s got the ankle and trying to turn Malenko onto his belly, but the Iceman not giving in. Instead Angle with a spinning toehold… figure four! JR: Angle catches Malenko in a figure four leglock! And the Iceman’s nowhere near the ropes…
Heyman: You think Ric Flair didn’t show Malenko how to escape this?
Indeed, Malenko is already trying to break it or turn it.
JR: Malenko already has Angle half turned, and I think only Angle’s superior size and strength is keeping this hold from getting reversed.
Instead Malenko uses his free leg and actually pries Angle’s legs off his own!
Heyman: Hey!
Malenko pushes off and is able to roll back to his feet, albeit on a gimpy leg. But Angle SPRINGS off the canvas and levels the Iceman with a clubbing lariat out of nowhere!
JR: WHAT A CLOTHESLINE!
Angle makes a cover, deep grapevine.
One!
Two! Malenko somehow rolls Kurt back onto his own shoulders in a crucifix pin!
JR: REVERSAL BY MALENKO!
One!
Two!
Th—Angle kicks out but Malenko’s still got hold of one leg.
JR: Angle trying to stand but Malenko has hold of him like a rabid pit bull, and he ain’t letting go!
The Iceman is up, and Angle is twisting to try and escape the leg hold… as Malenko starts kicking at the back of Angle’s right knee relentlessly.
JR: Malenko just pulverizing the back of Angle’s knee!
Heyman: For a technician like him, that’s nothing but big trouble for Kurt Angle.
Now Malenko’s got the leg and going for the
JR: Another cheap tactic…
Heyman: Nothing cheap about that one. That was all about survival, JR.
Angle rolls to his feet, and immediately comes up limping. Angle trying to walk it off, as Malenko moves in. Malenko with a wicked overhand right that spins the Olympian around. Malenko with a Russian legsweep, rolls through… and brings Angle right back to his feet, chain wrestles into an armbar, then drives a knee up into Angle’s defenseless face!
Heyman: OOH!
JR: That one buckled Angle’s knees!
Malenko shoves Angle into a standing headscissors, hooks both arms… TIGER BOMB!
JR: A BIG powerbomb!
One!
Two!
Thre—
JR: NO! ANGLE KICKS OUT! BY GAWD ANGLE KICKED OUT!
But Malenko immediately goes for Angle’s legs, stands and turns him over in a Texas Cloverleaf.
Heyman: There it is, JR! One of the most devastating holds in wrestling…
JR: And Malenko has it hooked perfectly!
Angle straining desperately for the ropes, and they’re within reach. Malenko releases a bit of the pressure and starts walking Angle away from the ropes, but as he does Angle lunges, Malenko loses his grip and Angle’s able to squirrel free and sprawl into the ropes!
JR: Angle escapes!
Heyman: Malenko lost his grip, what a HUGE error!
Malenko stumbles forward with no Angle in his grasp, to find the Olympian clawing his way to his feet. Angle charges but Malenko catches Angle with a perfectly placed flying heel kick to the jaw!
JR: AGAIN, Malenko has an answer!
Malenko bends and starts going for the Cloverleaf again... Angle pulls Malenko down into a small package!
One…
T—Malenko kicks out, but Angle still has hold of Malenko.
Goes for a powerbomb, Malenko somehow powers up for a backdrop. Angle lands on his feet, REVERSE MULE KICK BELOW THE BELT!
JR: NOW WHAT THE HELL!?!
Malenko’s doubled over, Angle hooks him…
Heyman: OLYMPIC SLAM!
Angle rolls over and makes the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The fans erupt in boos as “Medal” starts.
Heyman: Kurt Angle advances, JR! What a courageous victory!
JR: Courageous?!? Give me a break! That was one helluva match, and it deserved better than Kurt Angle winning it with a damn low blow!
Angle rolls to his feet, limping, and referee Nick Patrick raises his hand but not before berating him for the low blow.
JR: After more than 15 minutes of tremendous action… so many different styles—amateur, mat wrestling, high-impact, brawling. These two men lay it all out on the line for a spot in tonight’s finals, and what does Angle do? He hits a damn low blow to gain the upper hand and win the match!
Heyman: And he hit it so quickly. Malenko never had a chance to block, and right away Kurt went for the kill. Real intelligence there.
JR: Yeah but so much for the damn integrity!
Angle raises his arms and starts to do a little victory lap around the ring, as a bleary Malenko is just now coming to his senses.
JR: So the finals are set. It will be Kurt Angle against Rob Van Dam, with the winner earning a shot at the North American Title. Right now let’s go backstage to Mean Gene, who’s standing by with RVD himself…
WIN: Angle by pin in 15:24 (advances to finals)
Cut backstage to Mean Gene, located somewhere in the bowels of the Key Arena.
Gene: All right, we are definitely entering the shank of the evening now, as this historic pay-per-view is officially underway. And what an opening match we saw, as Kurt Angle scored the win over Dean Malenko. Let me now bring in the man that Angle will face later tonight in the finals of the Abbve & Beyond Tournament… Rob Van Dam.
[ZOOM OUT] to show RVD standing right beside Mean Gene.
RVD: Hey Gene, good to see you buddy!
Gene: Rob, now we know that you’ll face Kurt Angle later tonight. Your thoughts?
RVD: Well Gene, it’s definitely going to be an exciting match. He’s undefeated… but so am I. But I can see how a lot of people might like Kurt’s chances. He’s an Olympic gold medalist. Plus, I’ve still got to wrestle another match—and I don’t even know who I’m facing! Well, Kurt, you may be an Olympic Champion… but what you and Mr. Mystery Guest don’t understand, is that this is my night. This is my stage. Because I am Mr. Pay-Per-View. So tonight, whether I’m facing Kurt Angle or Hulk Hogan, it doesn’t matter. Because I’m the Whole F’n Show. Rob… Van… Dam.
RVD does his thumb-pointing shtick as the fans chant along… and Pantera’s “Walk” kicks on over the arena audio system.
RVD: I gotta go, buddy. They’re playing my song.
Gene: A supremely confident RVD headed to the ring. JR, Paul, back to you.
Rob Van Dam (0-0) vs. Mystery Opponent
20 minute time limit; referee: Mike Chioda
Finkel: The following contest is a special attraction match, scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit.
With that, the opening guitar riff of “Walk” emanates throughout Key Arena.
[CUT] to a wide shot of the entrance, as RVD steps through the massive doors to a BIG ovation from the
JR: A tremendous welcome from these
Heyman: You know, they call him RVD… Mr. Monday Night… Mr. Pay-Per-View… and the Whole F’n Show. But to those who knew him in ECW? He is quite simply one of the most dynamic, unique individuals ever to step inside a wrestling ring.
RVD into the ring with a forward roll over the top rope, vaults to his feet and extends his arms to another round of applause from the fans.
Finkel: And his opponent…
There’s a pregnant pause, as a smirking RVD just shrugs, and leans back in his corner.
Until “God Save the Queen” starts up over the loudspeakers.
[CUT] to a close-up of the entrance. The massive doors open and Davey Boy Smith steps through, dressed in business casual clothes. He’s followed by Steven Regal, who is dressed to compete.
JR: I guess we got our answer.
Finkel: And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his tag team partner Davey Boy Smith… he hails from Blackpool, England, stands 6-foot-2 and weighed in tonight at 245 and ¼ pounds… Stevennnn REEEEGALLL!
Heyman: Now THIS is an interesting choice, JR. Regal wrestles the exact opposite style of Rob Van Dam. Let’s see how he combats this challenge.
Regal and Davey Boy have a brief word out on the floor, before Regal climbs the steps, briefly wiping his feet on the apron before stepping through the ropes. Regal stands ready, hands up, glaring at his opponent. RVD just shrugs with indifference, as the bell sounds.
DING DING DING!
RVD and Regal start out circling. Regal moves in for a lockup, but RVD avoids him and gets out of the way with a forward roll. Kip up, Regal turns, and RVD goes for a spin kick! But he pulls back at the last second, and Regal awkwardly lands on his keyster at center ring. The fans cheer and laugh, and the Englishman takes a powder to the outside.
JR: And just like that, Van Dam showing off his superior agility… and making Regal look mighty clumsy in the process.
RVD just stands there, smirking, before turning and leaping to the middle rope in the nearest corner in one smooth motion. He points at himself…
Crowd: ROB! VAN! DAM!
Meanwhile Regal is back on the apron.
JR: Regal now calling referee Mike Chioda over…
Regal gestures at his knee pads and boots, then points at RVD, his face contorted in a distasteful sneer. The referee is shaking his head, but Regal adamantly points at Van Dam, who has now turned to see what’s happening.
Heyman: I think Regal’s accusing RVD of having a foreign object on his person.
Finally, the ref turns and starts checking Van Dam’s ring gear.
JR: You’ve got to be kidding…
Heyman: Ya know, I know RVD likes using weapons. But most times, it’s a chair coming right at your face. Not exactly stealthy about the whole thing…
JR: I just—hey!
While the ref’s back is turned, Davey Boy reaches through the ropes and passes Regal something. Regal tucks it in his trunks then strolls away.
JR: And while the referee is checking Van Dam, Davey Boy Smith just slipped Regal a weapon… brass knucks, I think.
Heyman: Gotta give em points for craftiness, JR!
JR: The referee totally missed that, and I think Van Dam did as well.
The fans are screaming bloody murder at the turn of events, but the oblivious referee finishes his inspection of RVD and backs away. Lockup, and Regal applies a snug side headlock. Regal chain wrestles into a front chancery, and starts trying to grab one of RVD’s arms while slowly forcing him down to at least one knee.
JR: Regal slowing down the match, going for a submission hold, trying to ground Van Dam with his weight advantage… Pretty much the strategy we expected, Paul.
Heyman: And right now, it’s working. Van Dam’s not the best hold-for-hold wrestler either.
Stops trying to hook the arm and connects on a nasty-sounding forearm across the back. Back into a side headlock, but RVD with a pair of back fists to the gut, and shoves Regal off into the ropes. RVD drops down on the rebound, back to his feet, this time leapfrogs Regal. Regal back into the ropes and off, RVD leapfrogs him again.
JR: Regal bouncing back and forth like a tennis ball! Look out!
Regal comes off the ropes that time with a running forearm… RVD does a sitout split as Regal runs overhead!
Heyman: Wow!
Regal stops and turns, but RVD smoothly kips up and goes for another spin kick! RVD pulls up again and Regal AGAIN ends up seated on the mat in humiliation as RVD pulls back his leg. Meanwhile, the fans cheer and laugh.
JR: And Regal gets faked out a second time!
Regal seated on the canvas with an offended look on his face, as Van Dam celebrates and poses again at his expense. Suddenly Regal springs off the mat! He catches RVD with a forearm shot to the face that buckles Van Dam’s legs.
Heyman: OH!
Another big forearm and shoves Van Dam back against the ropes.
Heyman: Nothing funny about those shots, JR!
Stomp to the gut, and an elbow smash with the point of the elbow right down on the back of the head. RVD drops to his knees, Regal with another forearm blow and shoves RVD down to a seated position.
JR: Regal has silenced the crowd with this basic yet brutal flurry of offense.
Regal gets behind RVD, going for his head and one arm in some sort of submission hold… now the other arm…
JR: Regal has both of RVD’s arms crossed under his own neck, basically trying to make Van Dam choke himself out!
The referee calls it an illegal choke and calls for the break, but Regal leans forward to put all his weight on RVD… until RVD kicks one of his legs up and catches Regal right between the eyes!
Heyman: Hey!
JR: What flexibility on that kick!
Regal releases RVD and reels away, as Van Dam rolls to his feet.
JR: Van Dam is up, and he’s not having fun now!
RVD connects on a roundhouse kick to either ribcage.
JR: And he goes to work with those educated feet!
Regal turns around, as RVD starts unloading with punches to the head, and kicks to the body. Regal trying desperately to cover up, and backpedals into the nearest corner as RVD continues the onslaught. Chioda with an ignored five count, then steps in to get Van Dam away, as Regal tries to clear the cobwebs. RVD shoulders past the referee and moves right back in with a monkey flip, and sends Regal flying out of the corner!
JR: Right on the tailbone!
Regal stays down, grabbing at his backside with a grimace of anguish.
Heyman: Ya know they call that a bum over in
JR: I’m not touching that one…
RVD runs out of the corner and goes for a corkscrew legdrop, but Regal moves and RVD lands on the mat. Regal scrambles to his feet, but RVD able to bring him back down with a legsweep kick. Regal sprawls back to the mat, RVD kips up and this time…
JR: Second time’s the charm on the legdrop!
Regal rolls away, grabbing at his face and neck. No posing from RVD, who immediately follows up, leads Regal to the northeast corner and starts ramming his head into the top turnbuckle as the crowd counts along to 10! Regal wobbly but doesn’t fall, so RVD whips him hard into the far corner, then charges in for a running shoulderblock to the gut!
Regal groans upon the impact, as RVD delivers another shoulderblock.
Heyman: This is signature offense from Van Dam, JR.
JR: And Regal’s getting pounded by it!
A third shoulderblock to the gut, followed by a spinning back kick to the chest. Van Dam pauses, raising his arms to the fans to make more noise. Back flip out of the corner, charges in for a fourth shoulder but Regal gets a knee up! RVD stops dead in his tracks and crumbles to the mat.
Heyman: OH!!!
JR: Regal caught RVD with that one.
The Englishman quick to follow, gets gets RVD up onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry… hits a forward roll slam!
Heyman: Nice!
Regal with the cover:
One!
Two!
Th—RVD kicks out!
Regal looks up, bewildered, as only the Englishman can.
JR: Van Dam still down… let’s take another look at that impact in the corner.
[SPLIT SCREEN] shows both men trying to recover, as a replay shows Van Dam charging into the corner from a reverse angle. Regal gets his knee up, and RVD runs headfirst into it.
JR: Oh my…
Heyman: See that? Rob kept his head down and ran right into the knee.
JR: Rob Van Dam may have a concussion right now, folks.
Back to live action, as Regal rolls RVD onto his stomach and starts going for the Regal Stretch.
JR: Regal going for his version of the STF.
Heyman: He wants to finish this match right now!
Regal gets the leg hooked, but as he goes for the arm and neck, RVD has enough awareness to start making for the ropes. Regal finally cinches the hold, but seconds later, RVD grabs the bottom rope with his free hand.
JR: Van Dam into the ropes, but Regal won’t release the hold!
Chioda with a five count, and Regal finally releases right before five. Van Dam still slumped on the mat as Regal stands… and hits a jumping stomp down on his opponent’s spine! RVD screams out in pain, and Chioda gets in Regal’s face.
JR: Another shortcut from the Englishman! He—OH COME ON!
As the referee berates Regal, Davey Boy pulls RVD forward by the hair and delivers a few rabbit punches to the head before strolling away in mock innocence. The fans are really booing now as Regal grabs RVD by the leg and drags him back to center ring.
Heyman: RVD may have more moves, JR, but Regal might have two dirty tricks for every nifty maneuver in Van Dam’s arsenal!
Regal with an elbow across the back of RVD’s head, followed by a knee to the lower back. RVD jerks like he’s been shot, Regal hooks him under the chin and by one leg, then rolls him back in a bow and arrow!
JR: Textbook execution of the bow and arrow hold by Regal!
Regal yanks back under RVD’s chin, really trying to bend him backwards in the bow and arrow hold. RVD screams out in pain, and a confident Regal starts trying to yank back even more to try and get the submission. Regal ends up rolling back onto his own shoulders and Chioda counts.
One…
Regal rears up off the mat, and ends up releasing RVD, shoving him forward to the mat where he lands facedown.
Heyman: That’s the thing about the bow and arrow, JR. Very difficult to keep applied well for a lengthy period of time…
Regal gets up, a bit frustrated at Van Dam’s resistance, and delivers on a stiff kick to the ribs.
JR: Van Dam is really taking a beating…
Regal grabs RVD by the leg, but Van Dam rolls onto his stomach, then somehow leaps to his feet and kicks back with a reverse mule kick to send Regal sprawling back to the mat!
Heyman: That’s why RVD is so dangerous! He can hit offense out of any position.
RVD springs back to his feet as Regal awkwardly scrambles back to a vertical base… big hiptoss by RVD! Another corkscrew legdrop onto the Englishman! RVD yanks Regal to his feet, scoop slam. RVD runs back into the ropes, then forward, somersault…
JR: ROLLING THUNDER!
RVD rolls off as Regal is left twitching on the canvas.
JR: Rob Van Dam is cookin’ now!
Heyman: But he needs to go for the pin, JR!
RVD runs into the ropes, does a back hand stand, into a back flip… lands across Regal with a splash!
JR: OH MY!
One!
Two!
Regal kicks out!
JR: Regal somehow kicked out, but I think the end is nigh and so does RVD!
RVD to his feet and points to the southwest corner as the fans roar in approval! But now Davey Boy Smith is up on the apron.
JR: Oh, here we go again…
The referee over to get Smith back to the floor… RVD leaps to the nearest corner, flies off and catches Davey Boy with a sidekick that sends him crashing to the floor!
JR: So much for the British Bulldog!
[CUT] to Davey Boy, sprawled on the floor with blood leaking from both nostrils.
Meanwhile Regal sidles up behind RVD…
Heyman: Regal going for that foreign object, JR!
JR: I think it’s a pair of knucks!
RVD sees Regal coming and goes for a kick, Regal ducks it and nails RVD with a knucks shot to the kidneys! Van Dam howls in pain and collapses, as Regal pockets the knucks with the sly handwork of a magician.
JR: RVD just got brutalized with a kidney punch from hell! And because the referee was busy with Davey Boy Smith, he didn’t see a thing!
The fans are screaming bloody murder again, as a merciless Regal grabs RVD by the ponytail and gets him on his feet. Regal hooks a half nelson… into a backbreaker!
Heyman: Right on those kidneys!
Regal covers.
JR: C’mon, it can’t end this way…
One…
Two…
Three!
The fans erupt in boos as Chioda calls for the bell and “God Save the Queen” starts up again.
WIN: Regal by pin in 9:12
Heyman: He did it, JR!
JR: Did what? Stole this match? If that’s the case, then yes he did!
Meanwhile, Van Dam is still down, heavily favoring his lower back. Davey Boy Smith into the ring, and goes to congratulate his partner while staring daggers at RVD. Regal stays at arm’s reach from Davey Boy, who’s got blood spattered down the front of his shirt.
Heyman: Look at that, JR. Davey Boy Smith’s a bloody mess!
Suddenly, Davey Boy heads across the ring and stomps RVD in the kidneys. Van Dam convulses and screams in pain, but the British Bulldog just continues with a merciless beatdown.
JR: Now this is uncalled for!
Regal over and he starts stomping Van Dam as well. Mike Chioda tries to stop them but Davey Boy lunges at the official and scares him out of the ring. Smith motions for Regal to get RVD up. Regal pulls RVD up in a full nelson for his fellow Brit, who delivers on a running kick to the abdomen, followed by a measured punch to the head.
JR: This is nothing but a mugging!
Heyman: It’s also a statement, JR. These two were drafted to the CWF roster from Smoky Mountain Wrestling. Both Davey Boy and Regal were demoted there by Curt Hennig. Tonight, they want to prove how tough they are… even if it’s at Van Dam’s expense.
Davey Boy winds up for another punch… when a roar goes up from the fans.
JR: What are—
Heyman: LOOOOOOOOOOK!
JR: My God, I don’t believe it!
Davey Boy looks up right as he’s cut in half by a spear!
[CUT] to a wide shot of the ring as a short, stocky and very well-built man in a hoody and warmup pants starts pummeling him.
Heyman: IT’S TAZ, JR!
JR: THE HUMAN SUPLEX MACHINE HAS SHOWN UP AT REDEMPTION!
Regal releases Van Dam’s carcass and goes to attack the interloper, connecting on a couple of stiff forearms. grabs Regal’s arm on the third one, tucks his head and catches Regal with a twisting back suplex!
Fans: OOOOOOH!
As Regal weakly rolls for the ropes, Taz advances toward Davey Boy and the British Bulldog bails out to the floor right in front of the announce desk.
JR: Taz has cleared the ring! And Davey Boy Smith is LIVID!
Heyman: But what in the world is Taz doing here?!?
[CUT] to a shot of the British Bulldog, screaming at the top of his lungs and straining to get into the ring, only to be held back by Regal.
Heyman: Well, be careful what you wish for… because Taz has a microphone.
Taz: I got a suggestion for you, Bulldog. [points outside at Davey Boy, who is being held back with maximum effort by Regal] Let’s see what you do when it’s not two on one, or jumpin’ a man from behind.
JR: Paul, he is fired up!
Heyman: Fired up? Try enraged!
JR: He is dying to get a piece of Taz.
Taz: You wanna go? Well I ain’t never backed down from a fight. So, if you want it, I ain’t goin’ NOWHERE!
JR: He doesn’t have the authority to make a match!
Heyman: That’s never stopped Taz before…
Mike Chioda waving desperately for help from the back, and the other Mayhem referees come running out. They help Regal restrain Davey Boy, as Chioda goes over to stand in Taz’ path.
Taz: What’s that? You say I can’t wrestle cause I don’t have a Mayhem contract? [chuckles] Why didn’t ya say so?
Taz reaches into a pants pocket and pulls out a document.
Taz: I talked to Chavo Guerrero, and I got the damn contract. So somebody give me a pen!
Heyman: He WHAT?!
Fans seated ringside start throwing ballpoints and felt-tips into the squared circle! Chioda ducks, and a grinning Taz picks up one of the thrown implements. He says something to the referee, who turns in a slight bow. Taz signs his name on the official’s back with a flourish.
Taz: Well problem solved! So if you’ve got the guts, you’ll get your ass in this ring!
Taz throws down the microphone, sheds his hoody to reveal a tank top underneath and goes into a crouch, beckoning to the British duo.
JR: MY GOD! Paul, Taz just signed a Mayhem contract! You just better help he’s not here looking for some back pay…
Heyman: Oh, VERY funny, JR…
JR: Taz is ready to go, and these fans are in a frenzy waiting to see it!
Davey Boy shakes off his tag partner, sheds his bloody shirt and steps into the ring. Taz meets him and they start slugging it out as the fans ERUPT!
JR: Looks like we’ve got an unscheduled special attraction…
Special Attraction
Taz (w/ Rob Van Dam) (0-0) vs. Davey Boy Smith (w/ Steven Regal) (0-0)
No announced time limit; referee: Mike Chioda
DING DING DING!
The Bulldog and Taz laying into each other with vicious punches! The taller Davey Boy pushes Taz’s head down then starts delivering clubbing forearm blows across the back. But Taz grabs Davey Boy by the legs and picks the bigger man up… a NASTY douible leg takedown! Taz climbs up Davey Boy and starts delivering some wicked crossface forearm blows as Smith tries to cover up. Now Taz with some knee thrusts to the gut.
Heyman: So much for the ole collar and elbow start!
Davey Boy gets his hands up on Taz’ ears and pulls him down into a headbutt right between the eyes. That staggers Taz, and Davey Boy hits a second headbutt, then throws the smaller Taz off him. Follows up with a running clothesline to the back of the head as Taz tries to stand!
Heyman: OH!
JR: A VICIOUS clothesline from the British Bulldog.
Heyman: He wants blood, JR!
Now Davey Boy stomping the Human Suplex Machine, laying in with the sole of that street shoe right to the side of Taz’ head. Davey Boy motions for Taz to get up, then kicks him again. Taz rolls away, trying to clear the cobwebs but Smith stays right on top of him.
Heyman: This is where Taz’ side disadvantage can get him in trouble. He—wait…
As Heyman speaks, Taz brings his hand up with a quick strike and Davey Boy staggers away, clutching at his throat.
JR: Wait a second, Paul, I think Taz just caught Davey Boy Smith with an open-handed shot to the throat…
Taz gets to his feet…
Heyman: I’ve seen that look before and it’s bad news for one of Taz’ opponents!
A gasping Davey Boy turns just in time to take a running big boot to the face. The impact spins Davey Boy around, Taz grabs him… release German suplex!
Fans: OOOH!
Davey Boy reels to his feet but Taz is right there, blocks Davey Boy’s punch and hits a head-and-arm side Tazplex!
Fans: OOOOOOOOOH!
Davey Boy rolls to all fours after the impact and Taz pounces on top of him
JR: More crossface forearms! Taz is unstoppable!
Taz finishes up by wrapping a hand in the Bulldog’s hair and ramming him HARD facefirst into the mat! Taz gets up and stalks around the ring, arms raised.
Heyman: This is what we witnessed every week in the ECW Arena, JR… but it’s as if Taz has reached a different level tonight. His aggression, his tenacity… this is a man wrestling as if he has something to prove.
Meanwhile Davey Boy is struggling to stand.
JR: The British Bulldog’s nose has been busted open again!
Taz stalking around the ring, waving his arms exhorting the Bulldog to get up! Davey Boy up, glassy eyed… Taz sidles up behind him and…
Heyman: The Kata-Hajime! TAZMISSION!
Davey Boy lunges forward for the ropes, but Taz yanks him back to the mat instead.
JR: That’s gotta do it!
Body scissors as he rolls the Bulldog onto his side. Mike Chioda right there… and he calls for the bell!
JR: The referee ends it! Taz with an impromptu but VERY impressive debut here in the CWF…
The referee raises Taz’ hand as Regal reaches in and starts pulling Davey Boy to the ropes by the ankle. Regal helps his partner out to the floor, and Davey Boy is obviously woozy.
Heyman: He had the ability to dominate in ECW. Now that he has signed a contract, Taz is going to have the chance to see if he can do the same thing on a national stage.
JR: Wait, hold on a second here…
RVD climbs into the ring, slowly applauding Taz as the fans continue to cheer. Taz turns around, and RVD extends a hand in congratulations—only to have Taz walk right past and leave the ring.
JR: Well, I don’t know about that. I think RVD was just trying to thank Taz for saving him from the Bulldogs.
Heyman: He’s lucky Taz didn’t rip his arm out of the socket, JR. Trust me when I say this. The Human Suplex Machine DOES NOT work and play well with others.
WIN: Taz by submission in 2:30
[CUT] to JR and Heyman at their ringside broadcast position.
JR: Well fans, we are off to a rollicking start here at Redemption, Paul.
Heyman: The idea of a wrestling organization making its debut on pay-per-view? It's a gutsy move, but I like it!
JR: Even before we officially went on the air, we saw some major happenings—starting with the revelation of the new Mayhem commissioner, Chavo Guerrero Senior. And Mr. Guerrero hit the ground running, making some major moves right off the bat.
[CUT] to footage from the Sunday Night Slam pre-show. Chavo Guerrero Sr. is in the ring, squaring off against Lash LeRoux.
Chavo: You listen to me now, LeRoux! You may not believe it but I AM the new Commissioner of Mayhem. And if you don’t show me respect, I fire your ass right now!
Chavo lapses into the Spanish language, berating Lash while screaming at the top of his lungs.
Heyman: He’s gone Ricky Ricardo on Lash, JR!
Chavo: I don’t believe in handing out title shots. I believe in earning them, comprende? And so you going to defend your spot in the main event … right now.
Lash makes a “bring it on” motion with his arms.
Chavo: OK, then… For a spot in tonight’s main event… it’s Lash LeRoux… against CHRIS BENOIT!
JR: [voiceover] And once the Canadian Crippler came out, it didn’t take long for the match to come to a decision.
[CUT to Lash climbing to the top rope. Benoit stands, Lash flies with a missile dropkick… Benoit moves and pounces on LeRoux with a Crippler Crossface as he lands! Lash taps in just a few seconds!
[CUT] back to the announce desk.
Heyman: Benoit doesn’t just win a title shot. He wins a title shot in rapid and impressive fashion. He wanted a chance at Sabu? Well tonight, he gets it!
JR: Fans, we have had Mean Gene Okerlund stationed outside the Corporation locker room since Redemption went on the air. Let’s go to him right now.
[CUT] to Mean Gene standing in front of a closed door.
Gene: Thanks, JR. No one has been allowed in or out of the Corporation locker room since Chris Benoit won tonight’s title shot. Our requests for a comment have not been granted, but make no mistake, I am going to wait right here to get the reaction from Vince McMahon’s camp to this breaking story. Wi—
Suddenly Lash LeRoux walks up into the shot.
Gene: Hold on just a minute here! Lash LeRoux? This is highly irregular.
Lash: Hush yo’ mouth, Mean Gene! I out here to address dat injustice. Dat’s right, an injustice! Tonight, it gon’ be le biggest night o’ my career, no? All my family an’ friends down in le bayou be watchin’. How you tink Gramma LeRoux gonna react when she see I not in le main event, huh? I tell you dis, it all Chavo Guerrero’s fault. Dat man got too much gumbo, no?
Gene: Um… I don’t really know what means, Lash.
Lash: Well listen here! I not gonna take dis lyin’ down. Lash LeRoux is primetime. Lash LeRoux deserves to be on dat pay-per-view! Now… I hear Davey Boy Smith, he sposed to be in dat Gauntlet Match, no? Well after he get choked out by Taz, he can’t compete. So I takin’ his spot. You not like dat? DO sumting about it.
Lash chuckles a bit at that, then puts his beret on and struts out of the shot.
Gene: Strong words from Lash LeRoux, and I don’t think I understood half of them. JR, Paul, back to you.
Intercontinental Title: Gauntlet Match
One hour time limit; referee: Billy Silverman
[CUT] back to a wide shot of the arena. The bell rings three times before a [CUT] to Howard Finkel at center ring.
Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the Intercontinental Title Gauntlet! [Crowd cheers] Let me briefly explain the rules. Earlier tonight, the six competitors participated in a random draw to determine order of entry, and will compete tonight in a series of singles matches based on that draw. The one man able to last until and win the fifth match will be declared the new Intercontinental Champion.
PA: Welllllllllll… well it’s the Big Show!
The massive church doors on the pay-per-view entrance open and Show steps through, having to duck his head to get through the passage.
Finkel: Coming down the aisle, now residing in
[CUT] to a shot of Big Show as he heads down the aisle, with the camera at belly level pointing up toward his face.
JR: Well, we all thought Big Show was out for another few months serving a suspension handed down by Curt Hennig. Instead, he showed up on our Sunday Night Slam pre-show and won an invitational for the final spot in this gauntlet.
Heyman: Ya know, I realize that the winner of this match was supposed to be at a disadvantage. But how would ya like to step through that curtain and see this guy staring back at you?!?
Show climbs over the top rope and stalks around the ring as his music fades.
JR: Let’s see who his opponent is…
“Medal” starts up over the house audio system.
And HAKU steps through the doors with a fearful bellow!
Finkel: And his opponent… from the isle of
JR: The former United States tag champion is gonna take on the Big Show!
Haku heads down the aisle at a brisk walk, punching at air and yammering in his authentic Pacific island gibberish.
Heyman: Isn’t this what you’d call a slobberknocker?
JR: You’re damn right it is!
Referee Billy Silverman keeps Show back so that Haku can enter the ring, and he immediately makes a beeline for the bigger man.
Big Show (1-0) vs. Haku (0-0)
DING DING DING!
Show blocks the charging Haku with a kick to the gut. Grips Haku by his bushy hair… headbutt! But after the impact Show staggers back a step or two.
Heyman: You do NOT headbutt a Tongan, JR!
As the giant tries to clear the cobwebs, Haku unloads with a frenzied series of strikes to the head and body.
JR: Haku showing no fear against this 7-foot, 500-pound behemoth!
Show backpedals a few more steps, and Haku hits an open-handed blow to the throat. Haku grabs Show by the ears… headbutt! And another headbutt! Haku lets out a primal yell… a third headbutt right between the eyes. Show reels back against the ropes, bounces off and FLATTENS Haku with a big clothesline!
JR: And a BIG clothesline drops the Tongan…
Heyman: Is this what you’d call a slobberknocker, JR?
JR: You’re damn right! And the Big Show’s been busted open!
Show glares down at Haku’s carcass, while there’s a slight trickle of blood from his forehead as a result of those headbutts. Show checks his forehead, then glares down at Haku with murderous intent. Haku back up to one knee, Show catches him with a running knee lift! The impact actually lifts Haku OFF the mat before he crashes back to the canvas.
JR: Haku is a hard hitter, but I don’t know if he ever has faced a specimen like this…
Yanks Haku back to his feet and tosses him into the near corner, then hits a charging back elbow to the side of the head. Then a knee to the gut. Pushes Haku’s head back against the top turnbuckle pad, and raises a massive hand for an overhand chop. Show looks up, seeking approval… when Haku suddenly brings his thumb up and catches the big man in the throat.
JR: Wait, Big Show took a shot to the throat…
Heyman: Was that the Oriental Spike?!?
JR: I think it was!
Show starts to double over, gasping for breath, and Haku unloads with a thrust kick under the jaw! Show staggers but does not fall. Haku moves in… AND HE GETS THE BIG SHOW UP FOR A SCOOP SLAM! The fans ooh and ahh at the feat of strength.
JR: SCOOP SLAM! Haku able to slam the 500-pound Giant!!
Heyman: INCREDIBLE show of strength. I tell ya, that Kurt Angle’s got great taste in tag parents, doesn’t he?
JR: They were teamed at random after winning a battle royal.
Heyman: Psssht, semantics…
As the announcers banter, Haku sprawls back against the ropes clutching at his back after the tremendous strain. Meanwhile Big Show’s already trying to get to his feet, but Haku pounces on him with a chokehold before the giant can stand. Haku starts to throttle Show, bucking and frothing like a madman as he tries to strangle the life out of the big man. Referee Billy Silverman with a five count, and Haku breaks at four and three-quarters then goes right back to the choke.
JR: Haku working that five count as far as he can…
Heyman: I didn’t even know he could count to five!
Finally Haku lets go, and Show weakly rolls onto his side, coughing and clutching at his throat. Haku stands and connects on a measured knee to the kidneys. Show sprawls onto his belly and Haku applies a trapezius nerve hold. JR: No other way to say it, the Big Show is in serious, serious trouble…
Heyman: Wrestlers have often said behind the scenes Haku’s the toughest man in the locker room. He’s proving it right now.
Haku bellows in triumph and sits astride Show’s massive back like he would in a camel clutch, as the blood spills more freely from the gash in his head.
Heyman: Look at that, JR. As Haku applies more pressure, as he squeezes, that will increase the blood flow out of the Big Show’s forehead…
Show’s face starts to turn bright red under the strain, but he’s able to start drawing up onto all fours. Big Show grabs Haku around one leg… then the other… and he starts trying to stand. Haku trying to lean forward and keep the Big Show down on the mat, but the giant is slowly but surely powering up to his feet.
JR: Haku showed his strength, but look at this!
Big Show gets to his feet with Haku still draped across his back… then flops back to the mat to SQUASH Haku against the mat! Show rolls off, while Haku is left prone on the canvas, now grabbing at his guts.
Heyman: Five hundred pounds crash down on him…
Big Show to his feet, and now he really looks upset! Brings Haku to his feet, hits a big overhand chop across the chest, then a knee to the gut and a forearm smash across the upper back. Show hoists Haku up onto his shoulder with almost NO effort. Turns and hits a running powerslam!
JR: Big powerslam! And there’s the cover!
One!
Two!
Thr—HAKU WITH A SHOULDER UP!
Big Show gets back to his knees, glaring at Silverman in disbelief.
Heyman: How tough is Haku?!?
Big Show stands, and raises one open hand with a defiant scream.
JR: Big Show signaling for the chokeslam!
He bends down and grabs Haku by two handfuls of hair… when suddenly Haku catches Big Show by the throat with the Tongan Death Grip!
Heyman: Tongan Death Grip!
JR: What a turn!
Big Show immediately reaches for his own throat as Haku locks the hold fully, yammering at the Big Show and nodding his head back and forth in triumph.
Heyman: Haku is slowly wearing him down…
Big Show starts to fade… then reaches out and grabs Haku by the neck!
Heyman: Whoa!
Show’s eyes bulge in pain and rage as he extends his arm, pushing Haku away until he loses hold.
JR: My God he broke the Tongan Death Grip!
Show yanks Haku back in close, hoists him…
JR: CHOKESLAM!
Big Show makes a cover, actually hooking the leg.
One!
Two!
Three!
Show pins Haku in 4:53
The referee starts rolling Haku’s carcass out of the ring as Big Show starts to pace back and forth.
JR: Haku had his signature hold applied, but the Big Show used his superior reach to push Haku out of harm’s way.
Heyman: Well, I guess all the 7-foot wrestlers out there know how to counter the Tongan Death Grip now.
Big Show walks into the far corner, laying against the turnbuckles to try and catch his breath.
JR: So Big Show gets past Haku, but there’s a long way to go to win this gauntlet. Let’s see who’s next…
“Born on the Bayou” hits, as Lash LeRoux heads through the doors.
Finkel: Introducing the next gauntlet participant, from
Lash sprints down the aisle, slides into the ring and starts peppering Show with blows as the bell rings.
Lash striking upward with several quick jabs, until the Big Show shoves him away. Lash sprawls back on the mat, but gets right to his feet and hits a basement dropkick to Show’s left knee. That drives the giant to one knee, and Lash runs into the ropes behind Show and hits a modified bulldog.
JR: Oh, a nice move there by the Ragin’ Cajun!
Heyman: Lash might be a little… strange… but he really can wrestle.
Lash with a leaping legdrop across the back of the giant’s head. Rolls to his feet and heads for the nearest corner… climbs the ropes… big moonsault down across the back of the giant!
JR: Lash LeRoux pulling out all the stops!
Lash rolls Big Show over—or rather tries to roll him.
JR: Lash can barely budge him!
So instead Lash climbs onto the back of the Big Show, reaches forward and hooks his head in a modified Dragon Sleeper.
Heyman: Cajun Clench, JR!
JR: LeRoux improvising and trying to get the submission. But I don’t know if Big Show ever submitted!
Lash, meanwhile, nods and smiles as he wrenches back on the giant’s head.
Lash: I got him!
Big Show reaches up with his free hand, grabs Lash by the hair and pulls, yanking Lash over to the mat.
JR: There’s one way to reverse a hold!
Heyman: I don’t think you’ll find that one in the Greco-Roman Handbook…
Show stands, but he’s still got Lash by the hair, wriggling in the giant’s grasp. The giant hoists Lash LeRoux to his feet, by the hair, then throws him across the ring with a HUGE hair mare! Lash flies HIGH into the air and lands with his feet bouncing off the ropes on the other side of the ring.
JR: What a throw!
Heyman: I think Lash LeRoux came this close to getting sent into orbit!
Big Show immediately stalks across the ring for more, as Lash tries to pull himself up using the corner ropes, while coughing and grabbing at his chest.
JR: That had to knock the wind out of Lash…
Here comes Show for an avalanche!
But Lash moves! Show crashes into the turnbuckles and the entire ring jolts. Lash takes a run at Big Show, and leaps over the ropes, snapping Show’s head against the top rope.
JR: Shades of Randy Savage on that move…
Heyman: And give Lash credit for those cat-quick reflexes after getting tossed across the ring.
JR: But he better pay attention…
Lash applauding his own move out on the floor, but the Big Show isn’t down. He reaches over the ropes and grabs Lash by the hair a second time. Lash lets out a high-pitched noise as Show drags him back onto the apron—and into the ring by ANOTHER hair mare!
Heyman: Lash is in trouble.
JR: Did Lash just squeal?
Heyman: Dammit JR, focus!
As Lash struggles to his feet, the Big Show strolls up, hooks that Cobra Clutch and lifts Lash up into the air! Show throttles Lash, shaking him back and forth.
JR: My God, it’s like watching a dog with a rat trapped in his jaws!
After a few seconds, LeRoux’s head sinks and the referee calls for the bell.
Heyman: Lash LeRoux’s bad night just got worse… and the Big Show moves on.
Show makes Lash submit in 7:55
Big Show drops Lash in a heap, wiping his heavily perspiring brow. Show turns to the entrance, angrily motioning with his arms and screaming “Come On!”
JR: Big Show feeling it, but the big man’s used to beating his opponents very quickly.
PA: Oh, you didn’t know?!?
Roaddog steps through the doors, holding a microphone.
Roaddog: Yo’ ass better call somebodyyyyyyyy!
Big Show just slightly smirks and takes a couple of steps back. Roaddog is walking to the ring with a determined look on his face.
Roaddog: You damn right! Big Show, I got my slingshot in my back pocket—and you know this D-O-double G knows enough tricks to put you down for the 1, 2, 3.
Finkel: Introducing the next participant… from
Roaddog tucks the microphone in his waistband and climbs the ring steps as Show stands there, arms crossed, just waiting on his loud-mouthed opponent.
JR: Well unless this is a debate or a singing contest, I think the Roaddog is in trouble.
Roaddog steps into the ring and Silverman calls for the bell.
Big Show vs. Roaddog (0-0)
Show lunges for Roaddog, who ducks the big man’s lunge. Show turns and Roaddog catches him with a blatant below the belt!
Heyman: Oooh!
JR: A blatant low blow by the Roaddog!
Show doubles over, gagging, as Silverman gets in his face threatening a DQ.
Roaddog looks at Silverman in bug-eyed shock, then reaches for the microphone again.
Roaddog: You’re threatening to disqualify me for that? I’ll show you…
Roaddog connects on a second, running kick to the groin, then heads out to the floor.
Heyman: I haven’t seen this much groin-oriented punishment since my trip to
JR: That’s—wait, what?
Heyman: Huh? I didn’t say anything…
Show remains doubled over in the ring. Roaddog makes a beeline for the timekeeper, gets him up, grabs his chair and gets back into the ring.
JR: What the hell is Roaddog doing?!?
Silverman is in a tizzy, trying to wave off Roaddog, who shoves the official to the ground and rams the end of the chair right into Show’s ample gut. Silverman frantically calls for the bell.
Show wins by DQ in 9:56
Big Show drops to his knees… and Roaddog brings the chair CRASHING DOWN across his head!
Fans: OHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Show’s eyes roll up in his head after the impact, and he slumps lifeless to the canvas.
Roaddog: Now that’s a disqualification!
JR: GOOD LORD! Blatant use of the chair by Roaddog, and the third leg of this gauntlet quickly comes to an end…
Heyman: And Big Show is OUT!
JR: And just look at that chair! Or what’s left of it…
[CUT] to a close-up of the chair, which has almost been mashed into a triangle after getting slammed down on the giant’s head with such force.
Roaddog drops the chair, and shrugs.
Heyman: Roaddog just lost his chance at the Intercontinental Title, and it doesn’t look like he even cares.
Big Show is down, now bleeding badly from the forehead, as…
The New Age Outlaws’ music hits again?
And Billy Gunn steps through the doors.
Heyman: A-HA! The plot thickens…
[CUT] to Roaddog, with a big smile on his face, waving his arm to his tag team partner.
JR: Gunn sprinting down the aisle to try and take advantage of the fallen Big Show, and meanwhile his tag team partner’s waving him in like a third base coach!
Finkel: Introducing the next participant… from—
Finkel gets cut off as Gunn gets into the ring and attacks.
Big Show vs. Billy Gunn (0-0)
Big Show is still down, and Gunn pounces on top of him and goes for the cover.
One…
Two…
Show with a kickout, but not a particularly authoritative one.
JR: But Big Show able to kick out!
Heyman: But Billy Gunn right back to his feet, he’s not gonna give the giant any time to recover.
When Show gets to all fours, Gunn swoops in, leaps and DRIVES him back facefirst into the canvas!
JR: Famouser! That’s his signature move!
Gunn goes to roll Big Show over, but struggles to do it just like Lash LeRoux did. Gunn sets his feet and leans into the giant’s carcass to get him onto his back.
Cover!
One!
Two!
…
Three!!!
Gunn pins Show in 10:50
Heyman: HE DID IT! BILLY GUNN HAS SLAIN THE GIANT!
JR: But it might as well have been a handicap match!
Gunn rolls off with a HUGE smirk on his face and gives the giant’s carcass another crotch chop. He then points at his partner, the Roaddog, who’s already halfway up the aisle on his way to the back.
Heyman: Billy Gunn just slew a giant, JR!
JR: But it might as well have been a handicap match!
Heyman: Gee, do ya think so, JR? The idea that two tag team partners and friends would form a strategy after both drew spots in the same gauntlet match. SHOCKING! Considering that the other guy in this match outweighs both Gunn and Roaddog combined, I say good for them! Gotta level the playing field somehow, right?
As the announcers banter, Silverman is slowly helping Show roll out of the ring. Roaddog gives Gunn a big ovation from the floor, and a furious Silverman finally orders Roaddog to the back.
JR: So Billy Gunn now one win away from the Intercontinental Title.
Heyman: And I betcha I know who Gunn will wanna defend against first! This is just a brilliant, brilliant move for the New Age Outlaws tonight.
“Street Fightin Man” by the Rolling Stones starts up, and Ken Shamrock comes through the doors. He raises his arms and lets out a scream, before heading for the ring.
Heyman: Or at least it WAS…
JR: Ken Shamrock! The World’s Most Dangerous Man is the final entrant!
Finkel: Introducing the final participant in the gauntlet… from
JR: You think this man doesn’t want his belt back?!?
Shamrock walks to the ring in no hurry, as Gunn just waits, never taking his eyes off the UFC champion.
Heyman: But going last really has no advantage for Shamrock. Billy Gunn should be just as fresh as he is…
Shamrock starts up the ring steps, when Gunn hustles over to try a sneak attack. Shamrock blocks Gunn’s punch and connects on a haymaker of his own that sends the Bad Ass sprawling!
JR: Oh, a big roundhouse by Shamrock!
A snarling Shamrock then steps through the ropes as the bell rings.
Billy Gunn vs. Ken Shamrock (0-0)
Gunn scrambles to his feet and Shamrock drops him again with another punch. Back to his feet and Gunn tries to cover up as Shamrock attacks with a dizzying array of punches and knee strikes to the body. Gunn reels against the ropes as Shamrock works him over and Silverman issues a five count.
JR: Billy Gunn is in a bad, bad neighborhood right now…
Shamrock completely ignores the count, hitting a punishing blow to the solar plexus before Silverman yanks him away.
Heyman: Might be tough controlling Shamrock. He’s so close to regaining his title, that’s like taunting a starving wolf with a hunk of beef!
Shamrock moves right back toward a doubled-over Gunn, who suddenly grabs the UFC fighter around the waist. Hoists Shamrock with a double-leg, then dumps him back over the ropes. Shamrock able to land on the apron, Gunn hits a standing dropkick and Shamrock lands HARD on the floor!
JR: What tremendous elevation on the dropkick!
Heyman: And Billy Gunn counters the UFC champion with a classic pro wrestling maneuver.
Gunn shakes off the cobwebs and goes into a crouch, waiting for Shamrock to rise. Shamrock up, Gunn with a baseball slide dropkick! Shamrock goes sprawling back into the rail, and Gunn takes the fight to him on the floor. Picks up Shamrock and drops him across the top of the rail! Shamrock drops to his knees, grabbing at his throat.
JR: Gunn trying to take away Shamrock’s wind…
Gunn doesn’t even let Shamrock drop, instead firing him into the steps with an Irish whip! That puts Shamrock down for the count, grabbing at his left shoulder. The crowd ooohs at the impact, while Gunn immediately shoves Shamrock right back into the ring.
Heyman: That’s the way Billy Gunn can win this match. By being relentless!
Goes right for a vertical suplex, and holds Shamrock aloft for several seconds…
JR: Jackhammer slam!
Gunn gets up and mocks the Goldberg taunt before hitting a crotch chop. Then he goes for the cover.
One…
Tw—Shamrock kicks out with relative ease.
Gunn shrugs, pins Shamrock’s left arm against the mat, swings both legs up off the mat and drives the knees into the appendage.
JR: And Gunn goes right to work on the arm that took that impact into the stairs!
Heyman: Nice change of pace!
Rather than go for an arm submission, Gunn just applies a simple hammerlock, rolling Shamrock over onto his stomach before driving an elbow into the shoulder. He rolls back to his feet, and just delivers a jumping stomp to the joint. Shamrock howls out in pain and rolls away, grabbing at the shoulder.
JR: Nasty stomp to the joint…
Heyman: Ya know, if he could make Shamrock tap out, he really would be a Bad Ass!
Gunn stays right on top of Shamrock, brings him to his feet and rams his head into the top turnbuckle 10 straight times! Turns Shamrock around in the corner and opens up with a series of mudhole stomps, bashing Shamrock down to a seated position. Gunn jogs back into the opposite corner, and he’s signaling to the crowd.
JR: Gunn sizing Shamrock up for something…
Heyman: Stop posing and do it already!
Gunn with a big crotch chop and sprints across the ring, but before he can do anything, Shamrock EXPLODES off the ground and cuts through the Bad Ass with a huge spear! The two men collide in midair with Shamrock landing on top of Gunn. Immediately, he starts firing away with punches to the head.
Heyman: Look at that!
The sudden turnabout brings oohs and ahhs and many fans come to their feet as Shamrock buffets Gunn’s head with stiff punches.
JR: Just like that Shamrock has control of this match!
Heyman: Gunn might be out… !
But before Shamrock can finish him, the ref steps in to stop the onslaught of illegal closed fists. Shamrock turns on Silverman with his full fury, sending the referee skittering back into the corner.
Heyman: I would NOT want to disagree with Shamrock. He’s so close to that title, he can taste it!
JR: But meanwhile Gunn’s gotten out to the floor, where he can’t be pinned and cannot be made to submit. No one can deny Shamrock’s skills. He’s a very dangerous competitor. But he loses his focus, or control of his emotions, and that’s what gets him in trouble.
Shamrock turns and immediately pursues, while Gunn’s still down trying to regain his bearings. Shamrock catches Gunn with a kick right under the chin…
Heyman: What a shot!
That leaves Gunn loopy, and Shamrock hoists the Bad Ass to his feet and hits a high-angle back suplex right on the concrete floor!
Fans: OOOOH!
Gunn jerks and flops over onto his belly, grabbing at the back of his head.
JR: A BRUTAL impact for Billy Gunn, right into that unforgiving floor…
Shamrock rolls Gunn’s carcass back into the ring and immediately goes for the pin.
One…
Two…
Thr—Gunn with a shoulder up.
Shamrock immediately hooks Gunn…
Heyman: I think he’s going for a keylock!
Gunn starts straining for the ropes, and gets his right foot pressed JUST against the bottom rope right as Shamrock hooks the hold. The UFC champ bellows in frustration and releases the Bad Ass.
JR: He just can’t put Billy Gunn away…
Shamrock lifts Gunn and hooks both arms.
JR: Double underhook suplex coming, or perhaps a sitout powerbomb…
But he can’t get him up! Shamrock grabs at that left shoulder, and Gunn lifts him with a flapjack! Gunn staggers into the ropes, clutching at the back of his head.
JR: Gunn with a big counter! But does he have enough left in the tank to mount a comeback?
Shamrock to his feet, Gunn charges and catches him for a NASTY swinging DDT!
Heyman: Well that’ll help!
JR: My God, what a DDT!
Gunn immediately brings Shamrock up, standing headscissors… JUMPING PILEDRIVER!
JR: BIGTIME piledriver! Shamrock is down! And Billy Gunn covers.
One!
Two!
Thr—NOOO Shamrock gets a shoulder up!
Heyman: Now Shamrock is hurt, JR!
JR: And a pair of high impact maneuvers strung together have turned the tide in this contest!
Silverman begins a standing 10 count, and Gunn gets up at three. He reels into the ropes, slapping his leg and angrily motioning for Shamrock to stand.
JR: Billy Gunn is feeling it! He’s gonna go for that Famouser…
Shamrock up, Gunn charges… leaps… Shamrock pulls his head out of the way at the last second! Dragon screw leg whip brings Gunn to the canvas! He holds onto the foot and turns over Gunn…
JR: ANKLE LOCK! Shamrock hooks the ankle lock!
Gunn screams in pain as Shamrock wrenches the ankle and sits back, scissoring the leg. Gunn twists left and right, trying to escape the hold.
Heyman: Can Billy Gunn make it to the ropes?
Shamrock puts some extra torque on the ankle, and Gunn taps out.
WIN: Shamrock in 17:06 (new champ)
JR: No he can’t! And we have a new Intercontinental Champion!
Heyman: New champion, JR. Ken Shamrock has reclaimed his title…
JR: And he looked damn impressive doing it!
Shamrock immediately releases Gunn and raises his arms in victory. Silverman goes to check on Gunn, who is grabbing for his ankle, but Shamrock jerks the referee away and motions toward the title belt.
JR: Oh, some great sportsmanship there…
Shamrock turns his back to the official, raising his arms in triumph, as Silverman fastens the title belt around the UFC champ’s waist. Shamrock lets loose with a ferocious scream, then smiles as he starts to leave the ring.
JR: Maybe now the referee can actually do his job.
Heyman: Word of advice, JR, know what you do when Ken Shamrock asks you to do something? You do it.
JR: This gauntlet came down to a series of counters. Several times, Billy Gunn or Ken Shamrock had the advantage. Several times, the other man turned the tables. But in the end, Ken Shamrock’s superior submission technique gave him the winning edge.
[CUT] to the referee, helping a limping Billy Gunn to his feet.
Heyman: And Billy Gunn came close, but not close enough…
JR: Right now, fans, let’s go to Mean Gene Okerlund, who I understand has some breaking news?
[CUT] to Mean Gene, who is still in front of the Corporation locker room, but now being flanked by Davey Boy Smith and Steven Regal.
Gene: All right, Mean Gene here, now joined at my broadcast position by Davey Boy Smith and Steven Regal, the British Bulldogs. We—
Davey Boy: No need for all that, Gene. Because the British Bulldogs are dead and buried. That name… that team… it’s all used up. Rubbish! A new show… and time for a new start.
Regal: That’s right. Listen here, Sunshine, bring that microphone a bit closer. There, that’s it. What you see before you is two of the toughest, strongest, nastiest men ever from the
Davey Boy: The rest of you, get ready. Because now is the time… of Rule Britannia!
Davey Boy and Regal stand there, snarling with clenched fists, and looming over Mean Gene.
Gene: I guess that’s all from here. Back to you at ringside…
Cruiserweight Title: Six Man Mayhem
X-Pac (0-0) vs. Chris Candido (w/ Tammy Sytch) (0-0) vs. Eddie Guerrero (0-0) vs.
Rey Mysterio Jr. (0-0) vs. Christopher Daniels (0-0) vs. Super Calo (0-0)
No time limit; referee: Scott D’Amore
[CUT] to a wide shot of the arena.
Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is the first-ever Six Man Mayhem. The first man to record a pinfall or submission will be crowned the new Cruiserweight Champion. Your referee is Scott D’Amore.
Some bastard mix of Mariachi and rock music plays over the house audio, but with no accompanying Jumbotron video. Super Calo comes barreling through the doors, wearing his trademark toboggan, mask and glasses, along with a sweatshirt and baggy boxing shorts.
JR: Super Calo’s been signed as a non-roster competitor, but Chavo Guerrero’s giving him one hell of an opportunity in this Cruiserweight Title match.
Heyman: He looks a little… pudgy, though. Don’t ya think? Sorta Dusty Rhodes-ish.
Calo climbs into the ring to minimal reaction as the house lights begin to flicker and Nine Inch Nails’ “Head Like A Hole” starts. A cloaked Christopher Daniels pushes through the doors.
Heyman: Now really, JR, what would be more fitting on a show called Redemption than the Fallen Angel walking out with gold?
JR: Well Daniels is one heck of a competitor. He has not been pinned or made to submit in the CWF. Plus, he stole the show in my opinion in last Monday’s eight-man tag.
Daniels reaches the ring steps, and jerks off his hood in one quick motion, as Rey Mysterio’s “Psycho” theme takes over on the loudspeakers. A highlight reel of Rey’s feats of derring-do plays as the luchadore comes bounding down the aisle.
JR: What an ovation for Rey Mysterio! You can tell the smallest man in the CWF is pumped to be part of this match!
Rey does a lap around the ring, shaking hands and high-fiving the fans seated ringside until…
PA: Latino HEEEAT!
Santana’s “Oye Como Va” begins, and Eddie Guerrero walks through the doors with one of his little shimmies. Eddie has a huge smirk on his face as he heads down the aisle.
Heyman: No one else in this match has the championship resume of Eddie Guerrero. Five major singles title reigns, JR. He knows what it takes to win a title—but he’s never had to do it in a match involving six men at once.
Eddie climbs into the ring, eyeing the competition as his music fades, and it’s replaced by AC/DC’s “Back In Black.” Chris Candido parts the doors for Tammy Sytch, and the couple walk to the ring arm in arm.
JR: Candido made his debut in the CWF as one of the Four Horsemen. But now, he is on his own and has a title opportunity in his first match here on Mayhem.
Heyman: And sending a little message with that music… that he’s back. In black!
JR: I gathered that.
As Candido reaches the ring, his music and the lights both cut off.
PA: Are you ready? B-B-B-Break it down!
The doors open and X-Pac struts out into the arena. He does a series of crotch chops, as green X-shaped pyro shoots off above the ring entrance. He closes with a leaping crotch chop, punctuated by a pyro explosion.
JR: X-Pac is one of the pioneers of that modern-day, high-flying cruiserweight style. He also didn’t have the best record prior to the draft, so this may be his big chance.
[CUT] to a wide shot of the ring, with all six competitors now milling about.
JR: A reminder, no tags are necessary. Two men at a time, but if either of them exits the ring at any time, another man can enter.
Heyman: That might give Eddie Guerrero and Rey an edge given their lucha backgrounds.
JR: Boy I do not envy Scott D’Amore trying to keep order in this one…
D’Amore trying to clear four of the men out of the ring. Finally, Rey and Eddie are left in the squared circle. Rey walks up and goes nose-to-chin with Eddie in a staredown as D’Amore starts the match.
DING DING DING!
Eddie and Rey go nose to nose.
Heyman: Whoa!
JR: Some lingering issues between these two from the Cruiserweight battle royal on Monday… and remember these two are close friends. Almost brothers!
Heyman: Ever seen brothers fight? It’s not pretty…
Eddie piefaces Rey, but Rey answers with a big shove of his own. Eddie shoves back.
Rey into the ropes and charges off with a dropkick to the knee. Eddie leaps to avoid it and comes down on Rey with a headlock. Chain wrestles into a front facelock, and he’s really cranking on Mysterio’s head. Slides around into a waistlock and brings Rey to his feet, but Rey with a standing switch and brings Eddie to the mat with a takedown.
JR: Rey Mysterio displays a little amateur skill of his own…
Rey paintbrushes Eddie across the back of the head. Eddie gets out from under Rey, reaches his feet and he’s livid! Rey catches Eddie with a hiptoss, holds onto the arm and goes for a Majistral cradle!
One…
Two…
Eddie kicks out.
Both men to their feet, Rey charges, Eddie sidesteps and uses Rey’s momentum to throw him over the top to the floor!
Heyman: See ya later, Rey!
Super Calo into the ring, spins Eddie around and hits three quick forearms to the jaw.
JR: Those lucha libre rules come into play…
Calo snap mares Eddie, hits a dropkick to the back of the head.
JR: The masked man to his feet and he is pumped!
Eddie able to roll out of the ring after the impact. Candido enters and heads right for Calo. Collar and elbow and Candido muscles Calo back into his recently vacated corner. Winds up and blasts Calo across the chest with a chop. And another chop.
Heyman: Those’ll wake ya up in the morning!
Candido hits a big Beal out of the corner. Yanks Calo up by the toboggan, hoists him for a vertical suplex and holds him up in the air. Candido holds Calo aloft for 10 seconds… 15… 20…
JR: Look at this power!
Candido finally drops the hammer after nearly 30 seconds. Floats over for the first pin attempt of the match.
One…
Two…
Daniels in and breaks up the pin, starts stomping Candido as Calo rolls to the floor. Daniels brings Candido up with a side headlock, Candido counters with a wristlock and chain wrestles into an arm wrench. Daniels grabs the top rope with his free hand and does a forward flip to escape the hold, then sweeps Candido’s leg and goes for a lateral press.
JR: Oh, nice counter there by the Fallen Angel…
Daniels out of it with a hammerlock. Candido counters with a hammerlock of his own, pressing Daniels facedown against the mat. Daniels counters with another hammerlock, chain wrestles into a side headlock. Candido rolls Daniels onto his shoulders.
One…
Tw—Daniels rolls back over on the other side.
Candido grabs Daniels around the waist and starts to power up, hooks the Fallen Angel for a belly to back suplex, Daniels rolls through and lands behind Candido. Hooks his arm, drives him into the mat with a reverse Russian leg sweep! Holds on, hooks a Cobra Clutch… and flips forward into a bridge!
Heyman: Look at that!
The fans applaud the innovative submission, until Rey appears on the apron. Rey springs off the top rope, and hits a senton to Daniels’ exposed gut that breaks it up! Candido rolls to the floor as Rey gets to his feet, staggers back toward the ropes and X-Pac slaps him on the back to tag himself in.
JR: What a response for X-Pac!
X-Pac enters and catches Daniels with a running legdrop. Another cover.
One…
Two…
Daniels kicks out. X-Pac with some closed fists, battering Daniels back against the ropes. Irish whip, Daniels reverses, X-Pac reverses that. Goes for a leapfrog, Daniels stops short… Powerbomb!
Heyman: Not every day we see a powerbomb counter!
Daniels flips forward with a double leg bridge.
One…
Two…
X-Pac kicks out.
X-Pac rolls back to all fours, Daniels with an elbow smash across the back of the head, then a stomp, then pulls X-Pac up by two handfuls of hair, X-Pac hits a couple of strikes to the abdomen, shrugs off Daniels and hits a double chop across the chest. Daniels with a wild haymaker, X-Pac ducks it, Daniels turns and X-Pac nearly beheads him with a spinning heel kick! Another cover.
One…
Two…
Eddie in and breaks it up with a stomp, then throws X-Pac out of the ring.
Heyman: There’s one way to tag into the ring!
Daniels trying to get to the ropes, but Eddie grabs him, hits a scoop slam and an elbow drop. Then a second elbow drop. Then a third. Follows up with a spinning boot scrape across the eyes! Eddie brings Daniels up, rocks him with a nasty European uppercut. Then a big standing dropkick! Now Eddie goes for a cover.
One…
Two…
Rey breaks it up. Now Rey hoists Eddie and chucks HIM out of the ring.
JR: And with these lucha libre rules, that might as well be a legal tag.
Daniels almost to Candido’s corner, but Rey cuts him off with a baseball slide dropkick. Goes for more, when Eddie back into the ring and tosses Rey out. Eddie hits a scoop slam. Stands to go for more, when Rey back in and shoves Eddie aside. Rey grabs Daniels and throws him out, then motions to Eddie.
JR: Rey Mysterio’s ready to settle this!
Heyman: Ever seen two brothers or good friends fight? It can get ugly…
The two men start to circle as the fans cheer. But Candido reaches in and slaps Eddie on the back to tag himself in. The crowd boos as a smirking Candido enters the ring. Candido goes right for Rey, who avoids him with a big leapfrog. Candido turns and charges again, Rey with a drop toehold, then a basement dropkick to the head. Candido struggling to stand, Rey runs into the ropes, comes off with a quebrada… Candido catches him! And he PLANTS Mysterio with a powerslam!
Heyman: What a counter!
One…
Two…
Calo breaks up the pin, and he hooks Candido in a front facelock, but Candido counters with a backdrop. Calo stands and turns, Candido catches him with a spinning spinebuster. Pulls Calo up and connects on a spinning back elbow, then a belly to belly suplex. Calo hits hard and is able to roll out to the floor.
JR: Chris Candido is physically manhandling the competition right now.
Candido near the ropes, leaps out with a tope con
Heyman: And aerially manhandling them too!
X-Pac and Eddie into the ring and they start exchanging punches. Eddie with a thumb to the eye, and yanks X-Pac into a side headlock. X-Pac shoves him off, Eddie runs for the ropes but instead goes THROUGH them and hits Candido with a suicide dive as he stands!
Heyman: What a move!
JR: Eddie Guerrero really thinking on his feet—as he leaves his feet!
Now X-Pac motioning to the crowd. He gets a running start and goes to charge… Daniels into the ring and cuts him off with an STO! Daniels turns and charges a now-standing Eddie out on the floor. Grabs the top rope, swings his body through the ropes and kicks Eddie with both feet, knocking him back against the rail. Daniels out to the apron, springs to the middle rope and hits a quebrada out onto Guerrero.
JR: An AMAZING springboard moonsault
Heyman: It’s called a quebrada. Watch more tapes, JR!
Daniels gets to his feet and does a pose over Eddie’s carcass. But Rey is perched at the ropes! He catapults himself over the top, hooks Daniels and hits a spinning huracanrana!
JR: Oh, what a move by Mysterio!
Candido nails Rey as he starts to stand, and Calo joins in the brawl as well. Meanwhile Eddie and Daniels struggling to stand. X-Pac sees the cluster on the floor, runs into the far ropes, charges forward, SOMERSAULT PESCADO LEVELS ALL FIVE MEN!
JR: TREMENDOUS move by X-Pac! And these fans are on their feet after a wild sequence of dives by the men involved in this first-ever Six Man Mayhem match!
Heyman: Right now all six struggling to their feet, and it looks as if Daniels and Eddie took the worst of that impact.
Candido targets X-Pac, throwing him into the ring. Calo in as well, and he starts stomping X-Pac. Candido shrugs and joins in the assault.
JR: Now a little double-team of sorts…
Candido and Calo send X-Pac into the ropes and hit a double clothesline on the rebound. D’Amore trying to get it one on one, but instead Candido and Calo muscle X-Pac into the northeast corner and start hitting tandem stomps to the gut. Now Candido motions to the opposite corner. Calo hustles over and starts to charge, when suddenly Rey springs off the top rope. He ensnares Calo in mid-stride for a tilt-a-whirl headscissors! A woozy Calo immediately to his feet, Candido charges, Rey leapfrog and Candido smashes into Calo, sending him sprawling back into the corner.
Heyman: OH!
Rey grabs Candido’s arm and uses his momentum to Irish whip Candido back into the corner X-Pac just vacated. X-Pac with a spinning back kick to the jaw that puts Candido down in the corner.
Heyman: I guess Rey’s quicker than a hiccup, right, JR?
JR: I think that’s fair to say! And X-Pac and Rey seem to be collaborating….
X-Pac pulls Rey into a quick huddle. Then Rey charges Candido, X-Pac charges Calo…
JR: Stereo Bronco Busters! And the crowd is loving this!
X-Pac and Rey come to center ring, smiling… then both go for dropkicks at the same time and come up empty. They stand, but Daniels slides into the ring and he’s on them. Hooks X-Pac in a front facelock and reaches back over his shoulder to grab Rey … hits a DDT and neckbreaker at once!
Heyman: WHAT A COMBO!
Both men are down and hurting. Daniels covers Rey.
One…
Two…
kickout.
Daniels covers X-Pac.
One…
Two…
kickout.
JR: Daniels trying to win this match however he can!
Daniels goes back to Rey.
One…
Two…
kickout.
Daniels up to his knees in frustration… until a charging Candido boots him square in the side of the head!
Heyman: Not an ounce of Body Donna in that wicked kick!
Calo goes for a running attack, Candido catches him with a powerslam! X-Pac starting to stand, Candido up and pounces. Kick to the gut, hoists him for an airplane spin… then comes out of it to spike him into the mat with a DVD!
JR: Chris Candido is laying waste to the other competitors in this match!
Daniels back up, kicks Candido as he stands and goes for an STO… Candido with elbow smashes to the side of the head to break it up. Standing switch into a full nelson… Hoists Daniels and drops him into a backbreaker!
JR: Good LORD!
Candido hirls and charges, turning Rey inside out with a wicked lariat! He pauses to pose in triumph… as Eddie Guerrero gets to the top rope behind him! Candido turns, Eddie leaps off and connects on a tornado DDT!
JR: Candido DRIVEN headfirst! And there’s a cover!
One!
Two!
Thre—Rey breaks it up!
The fans are oohing and ahhing with every move now! Daniels and X-Pac are still down, while Calo weakly rolls to the floor. Rey turns to go for one of them, when Eddie charges and nails Rey from behind. He gets back to back with Rey, hoists him…
Heyman: Gory Lock, JR!
JR: Shades of Eddie’s father, Gory Guerrero!
Daniels runs to break up the hold, when X-Pac ensnares him in the Buzzkiller and drags him to the mat.
Heyman: Crossface chicken wing!
Tandem submission holds, and D’Amore doesn’t know what to do! Candido stomps X-Pac in the head and Eddie in the gut to break up both moves. German suplexes Eddie ONTO X-Pac!
Heyman: OH WOW!
Candido tosses X-Pac out of the ring. Then Rey. Then Daniels.
JR: Candido clearing the ring, and that’s probably what it’s gonna take to win this match…
Turns back to Eddie, who unloads with a big forearm. Candido answers with a chop. Forearm! Chop! Forearm! Chop!
Heyman: Both men trading some vicious blows!
Finally Eddie breaks it up with a thumb to the eye, hooks Candido and hits a vertical suplex. Rolls to his feet and hits a second. And a third!
JR: Eddie up and he’s doing his little shimmy. He’s feeling it!
Eddie points to the nearest corner and quickly scales to the top. But Calo is on the apron, grabbing at his leg. Eddie tags Calo with punches until he lets go and falls back to the floor. But by then Candido is up! He quickly scales the ropes and rocks Eddie with a headbutt. Candido moves to the top rope… and shoves Eddie into a powerbomb position.
JR: Candido has Eddie set! He’s…
Heyman: Is he going to powerbomb him to the floor?!?!
JR: No, don’t do it!
Candido starts to hoist Eddie into the air.
JR: He’s got a family for God’s sake!
Rey into the ring and dropkicks the ropes, crotching Candido on the top! Eddie falls forward, landing on his back in the ring, and rolls to the outside.
JR: Rey Mysterio Jr. with the save for Eddie!
Meanwhile Rey springs to the top rope, comes off with a clothesline that brings Candido down to the canvas. Rey immediately to his feet, and he’s signaling for something.
JR: Mysterio might be in position to win it!
Daniels, meanwhile, has made it to the adjacent ring apron. Rey springs to the top rope—but so does Daniels! Both men leap, Daniels grabs Rey in midair and DRIVES HIM INTO THE MAT WITH A MIDAIR STO!
Crowd: OHHHHHH!
Heyman: DID YOU SEE THAT, JR?!?
Both men are down after the thunderous impact. Candido struggles to his feet and limps toward Rey’s carcass when X-Pac comes out of nowhere with his somersault clothesline. He grabs Candido by the hair…
JR: X-Factor! Candido facefirst into the canvas!
X-Pac starts to go for the pin, but a recovered Daniels grabs him. Hooks both arms…
Heyman: Angel’s Wings!
X-Pac almost BOUNCES with the vicious facefirst impact. Daniels rolls X-Pac’s carcass onto his back.
One!
Two!
Thre—EDDIE OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A FROG SPLASH TO BREAK IT UP!
The crowd ERUPTS at the move, which leaves both Daniels and X-Pac lifeless, and Eddie clutching at his ribs.
JR: MY GOD WHAT A MOVE! EDDIE SAILING OUT OF NOWHERE! Every man in this match is laying it all on the line! They’re risking life and limb to win that Cruiserweight Championship!
Heyman: But now there’s nobody left, JR! Every man in this match is down…
Rey and Candido have rolled to the floor, and are down and out. But Eddie gets to his feet. He moves toward Daniels, gets spun around…
SUPERKICK BY CALO!
Heyman: WHERE DID HE COME FROM?!?!
Eddie woozy on his feet, but Calo clotheslines him out of the ring. Calo also chucks Daniels, then hoists X-Pac for a scoop slam… positions his head…
JR: JUMPING
Heyman: Super Calo breaking out some new offense!
Calo gets to his feet after the move… and reaches up to his toboggan.
Heyman: Is… is he unmasking?!?
JR: But why would…
Calo pulls off the toboggan and mask and…
JR: WHAT THE HELL?!?
Heyman: THAT’S JUSTIN CREDIBLE!
The bald-headed rulebreaker smiles in satisfaction as he puts a foot on X-Pac’s carcass, and delivers a crotch chop in the face of the D-Xer.
D’Amore shrugs, and counts.
One…
Two…
Three!
The crowd reacts with a strong mixed reaction as Credible rolls out of the ring, grabs title belt off the timekeeper’s table and immediately starts back up the aisle.
JR: Wait a minute! He—
Heyman: There’s your new Cruiserweight Champion!
JR: But Super Calo was supposed to be the sixth man. Justin Credible doesn’t even wrestle here!!
Heyman: Tell that to Justin Credible! Possession is 9/10 of the law, JR!
The fans are booing as Credible vaults the rail and heads through the crowd for the entrance, clutching the belt to his chest like a newborn baby.
JR: Justin Credible might have scored the pinfall, but I think we’ve witnessed an act of robbery.
Heyman: Chavo Guerrero had some big words earlier tonight. I think he just got dealt his first executive crisis…
JR: Fans we need to head backstage, as I understand there’s some activity at the Corporation locker room!
WIN: Credible by pin in 14:28 (new champ)
[CUT] to Mean Gene, standing with his back against the wall.
Gene: Thanks very much, gentlemen, a visitor has made an appearance outside the Corporation locker room. Let’s see if we can get some information, or perhaps a word with Vince McMahon.
[CAMERA PANS RIGHT] as Gene turns the corner and approaches the Corporation’s locker room door. A young woman with brown hair wearing a business suit and holding a briefcase is in front of the door.
Gene: Excuse me, miss. Mean Gene Oklerund here, can you comment on your involvement with Vince McMahon?
The woman turns, surprised by the sudden presence of the interviewer and cameraman.
Woman: I…
Suddenly the door is jerked open by Vince McMahon. His eyes bulge in fury as he steps between Gene and the woman.
Vince: What the HELL do you think you’re doing here?!?
Gene: I…
Vince: Listen here you bald-headed pipsqueak. You’ve been stalking me and my associates all night. And now… now what do you do?!? You ambush my only daughter!
Vince gestures angrily toward the young woman.
Gene: This… is your daughter?
Vince: That’s right. She’s delivering me some very important business documents. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to prepare Sabu for his title defense.
Gene: Mr. McMahon, what are your thoughts on Sabu’s new opponent for tonight… Chris Benoit?
McMahon just glares at Gene, spins on his heel and escorts his daughter into the locker room, loudly slamming the door.
[CUT] back to JR and Heyman at ringside.
Heyman: So much for that “exclusive”… but hey, Vince’s kid is kinda hot, eh?
JR: I’m not touching that one… Fans, we’re also trying to get a ruling from Chavo Guerrero about the controversial finish to tonight’s Cruiserweight Title Match. Well up next, we have—
JR is cut off by the sound of a single chime over the PA system. The house lights go dark and “A Shattered Dreams Production” begins to play on the twin big screens. A yellow spotlight hits the double doors, and they part as Goldust walks out in full regalia—albeit with one arm in a sling.
JR: Well it’s not on my format sheet but Goldust is making his way to the ring.
Heyman: Because if there’s one thing this show needed, it was a creepy androgynous guy!
Goldust up the ring steps and into the squared circle, where he takes the microphone from ringside announcer Howard Finkel.
JR: The Fink was getting ready to announce our tag team title match, but looks as if that’s going to wait a little while. We’re going to hear what Goldust has to say… whether we like it or not.
Goldust: I’m heeeee-re! Poltergist, 1982… I bet you all forgot about little ol’ me. Well, I was not about to miss this event. Because this is Mayhem’s big premiere event… and what would a red-carpet premiere be without my presence? But there are a lot of people out there, who are… disconcerted by my presence. I make them… uncomfortable. That is why the powers that be sent me to Smoky Mountain Wrestling. Well, I am here to tell you that I will NOT be shunted off to the sideline. You know… when you do an Indian a favor, he never forgets it. But if you do him bad, he never forgets that either.
Goldust pauses to inhale deeply, and run one hand up the front of his robe when a roar goes up from the crowd.
Heyman: Uh oh, JR!
[CUT] to the aisle, to see the Big Show stalking toward the ring with fresh stitches in his forehead and a very sour expression on his face.
JR: There’s an angry giant on his way to the ring!
The din from the crowd builds as Show gets closer and closer to the squared circle. Goldust, however, appears oblivious to the arrival although he starts to speak with a different voice rather than his usual deep, husky “in character” voice.
Goldust: Look, I appreciate your support, people, but let me finish my catch phrase, will ya?
Finally, Goldust turns as the Big Show climbs in over the top rope.
Goldust: What the--?
Goldust is cut off as Big Show FLATTENS him with a big boot to the face! The fans cheer at the brutal kick as Show stands over the Bizarre One, glaring down at Goldust’s carcass… then grabbing him by the throat and hoisting him to his feet to another bloodthirsty roar from the crowd!
JR: Wait a second! Goldust’s got an arm in his sling, he can’t defend himself!
Heyman: Who’s gonna stop him, JR? You?!?
A snarling Big Show hoists Goldust… and delivers a BONE-RATTLING CHOKESLAM! Goldust starts to twitch after the impact.
JR: CHOKESLAM! MY GOD, what a chokeslam! And Goldust is going into convulsions!
Big Show retrieves the microphone and stands over Goldust.
Show: Now that I have everyone’s attention… I’ve got a message for a couple of guys in the back. Roaddog… Billy Gunn… take a look at my head!
[Camera ZOOMS IN on his face, and the fresh stitches in his forehead]
Show: You think I’m just going to forget about this? [points to the wound] You think I’ll just let this slide? You spilt my blood and cost me the Intercontinental Title tonight. Tomorrow night, I’m going to be at Mayhem. I’ll be in this very ring. And I’m not lookin’ for a wrestling match. I want a fight! And I will chokeslam every… single… person who steps through these ropes. Until YOU show up.
Show drops the microphone and stands there, quivering in anger… before stepping over Goldust’s carcass and out of the ring as the fans cheer.
Heyman: If the New Age Outlaws know what’s good for them, they won’t come to Mayhem tomorrow night!
JR: Roaddog and Billy Gunn got the best of Big Show in a modified 2-on-1 tonight… I guess we’ll see if they’ll try their luck again. Meanwhile, Goldust needs some medical attention.
A couple of referees and a member of the CWF training staff are in the ring tending to Goldust.
Heyman: Hey JR… considering Goldust’s lifestyle, does this qualify as a hate crime?
JR: I’m not about to go there, Paul. Folks, while we clean up this mess, let’s go to Mean Gene.
[CUT] to Gene, now standing in front of the Mayhem backdrop.
Gene: It’s been one wild and unpredictable night so far, and that certainly applies to the match involving the man I’m speaking with now. Justin Credible, come on in here…
[ZOOM OUT as Credible walks into the shot, the Cruiserweight Title belt slung over one shoulder.
Gene: Now correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re a member of the Smoky Mountain Wrestling roster, are you not? Or at least you were—until Jim Cornette suspended you. So how in the world can you show up and compete tonight on this pay-per-view event?
Credible shakes his hand and chuckles.
Credible: You just don’t get it do you, old man? All the guys in Smoky Mountain Wrestling, they’re looking for one thing—opportunity. An opportunity to wrestle on nights like this, an opportunity to stand where I’m standing. Well, I didn’t sit down there in Hickville and wait on my opportunity. I came here, and I TOOK IT! How does it feel, Steve Corino? How does it feel, Scorpio? To sit at home and see ME standing in the place you covet? Because I’ve been held down too long, and too many times to let anyone stand in my way! This is my time! This is my show! And this… [holds up the belt] is now my property!
Gene: Well those are certainly bold words from—now wait just a minute here… Chavo Guerrero…
[ZOOM OUT] as the Mayhem Commissioner steps up and goes nose to nose with Credible. Mean Gene moves to the background, between the two men with his mic held between them.
Chavo: Oye! Justin Credible, you think you can lie and steal your way onto my show?
All three individuals pause.
Chavo: Well of course you can! That’s the
Chavo smirks and strolls off, leaving Credible standing there looking somewhat awkward.
North American Tag Title Match: Three-Way Dance
Test & Hakushi (C) (0-0) vs. Hostile Takeover (0-0) vs. D'Lo Brown & Mark Henry (0-0)
One hour time limit; referee: Chad Patton
[CUT back to a close-up of JR and Heyman at their ringside broadcast position.]
Heyman: The plot thickens, JR…
JR: Well Justin Credible apparently has earned his roster spot by holding onto that title, but he may have a tough time keeping that belt. Speaking of championships, it’s finally time for our tag team title match.
PA: You better recognize!
[CUT] to a wide shot of the wrestler entrance, as the massive doors swing open and D’Lo Brown and Mark Henry walk out into the arena to a loud roar from the crowd.
JR: Listen to the ovation for the first-ever tag team champs in CWF history…
D’Lo pauses about 30 paces out from the doors, extends one arm, then the other… then does his head shake as twin pinwheel pyro effects go off above the two Jumbotron screens. Henry just stands there, flexing and looking intimidating. Once the pyro ends, the former champs make their way to the ring.
JR: D’Lo and Henry lost the titles to Sabu and The Rock back at Fully Loaded in February. But because of Mark Henry’s injury in that match, and his demotion to
Heyman: And what’s wrong with that? Now D’Lo is back, he’s got his title shot and he’s got his old partner by his side. See, it all worked out for the best.
JR: Just hard to believe that these two lost the titles just two short months ago.
Heyman: I know what you mean, JR. It feels like almost seven years!
JR pauses awkwardly as D’Lo and Henry enter the ring, their music fades and it’s replaced by the Corporation’s “No Chance In Hell” theme. The doors part and Bryan Adams and Brian Clarke step through, nearly having to duck as they pass through the entranceway.
JR: And here come our other set of challengers…
Heyman: And they’re always ready for a good slobberknocker, right, JR?
JR: You’ve got that right.
Hostile Takeover stroll down the aisle, never taking their eyes off D’Lo and Henry.
JR: Even with Test in this match, even with Mark Henry, you’ve got to pick Hostile Takeover as the most physically dominant pairing in this match.
Adams and Clarke step from the floor to the apron… when D’Lo and Henry suddenly charge and knock them both off!
Heyman: Whoa!
JR: D’Lo Brown and Mark Henry catch the big fellas napping…
Adams and Clarke hit the floor and start scrambling to their feet. Henry and D’Lo out to meet them as a wild pier-four brawl ensues!
PA: This is a Test…
Test and Hakushi’s entrance music and video start, as Henry drops to the floor, helps his partner up and into the ring. Test and Hakushi emerge, with Hakushi wearing an Ichiro Mariners jersey. Hakushi bows as Test raises an arm to the cheering fans. Then the two men bump fists and head for the squared circle side by side. As the champs make their entrance, Mark Henry Irish whips
JR: I thought Test and Hakushi were gonna have a tough test ahead, but if this keeps up their challengers might destroy each other!
Heyman: Hey, hang back, let these guys fight it out, then take on the winners in the next fall. Sounds like a smart strategy to me.
D’Lo ducks a Clarke punch, spins him around and hoists the bigt man for an atomic drop. As he lands, Henry charges and flattens Clarke with a WICKED clothesline, bellowing in rage as he makes impact!
JR: Good LORD!
Heyman: Think Mark Henry got miffed that he was sent slumming with Jim Cornette?
The fans ooh and ahh at the clothesline, then continue to murmur in excitement as Test and Hakushi reach the ring area. Henry and D’Lo stand opposite them, all four men frozen like gunslingers awaiting some Old West showdown. D’Lo says something to his mammoth partner. Never taking their eyes off the champs, D’Lo and Henry back to the ring apron, then get in the ring with one watching the other’s back. D’Lo goes into a crouch, beckoning to the champs.
JR: Here’s what we never saw. The current champions against the first-ever champions!
Test looks at Hakushi. Hakushi shrugs, sheds his Ichiro jersey, removes his title belt and sprints for the ring. Test follows as the fans roar in approval.
Heyman: HERE WE GO!
But as Test and Hakushi reach the ring apron,
JR: These guys can’t even get into the ring to start the match!
All four men trading punches and a few kicks to the midsection… as now Henry says something to D’Lo, and hoists a willing Brown in a military press.
Heyman: Oh, look at this!
JR: We’ve seen this before… and I don’t think the guys on the floor have seen it yet. And look at the STRENGTH! That’s a 255-pound man!
Henry keeps D’Lo aloft for several seconds, then turns to face their opponents. He gets a running start. The other four men look up as Henry releases D’Lo with a bellow of effort and flings the smaller man HIGH into the air… and down across all four men with a HUGE flying cross body!
Crowd: OHHHHH!
[CUT] to a close-up of D’Lo, Test, Hakushi,
Heyman: Welcome back, Mark Henry!
Henry stands in the ring alone, waving his arms to the crowd to make some noise.
JR: Mark Henry is back in the big leagues, and he is feeling it!
The other five men still are trying to reach their feet, as Henry climbs out to the floor. He surveys the carnage… then grabs Hakushi and rolls his carcass into the ring, as the bell sounds to officially begin the match.
DING DING DING!
Henry zeroes in on the smallest man in the match. Hakushi trying to stand as Henry climbs through the ropes, but the strongman obliterates him with a running forearm shiver anyway.
JR: Good grief!
Henry follows with a big leaping elbow drop, and he goes for the cover.
One…
Tw—Hakushi kicks out.
JR: Mark Henry wasting no time trying to eliminate the champions and take this match to a second fall.
Henry brings Hakushi up by the head, applies a two-handed choke and hoists the Japanese competitor… and chucks him across the ring. Hakushi hits hard, but is able to roll under the bottom rope. Henry starts to follow as Test climbs in over the top rope. D’Lo calls out to his partner, points at Test and extends his hand. The message is clear, and received, as Henry makes the tag.
JR: This new lucha libre-type rule for tag team and multi-man matches really changes the strategy. You’ve gotta keep your head on a swivel in there.
Test and D’Lo start out in a methodical circle. D’Lo feints the collar and elbow, ducks behind Test into a hammerlock then pulls the big man into a side headlock. Test shoves him off into the ropes, but D’Lo grabs the top rope to prevent bouncing back. Both men circle again, and there’s a bit of trash talk taking place.
JR: Test and D’Lo have wrestled plenty of times by now. Neither man wants to make that costly mistake.
They go for a lockup, but Test catches D’Lo with a boot to the gut, then a measured punch that sends Brown careening back to the ropes. Test stands at center ring, defiant, as D’Lo stands there, rubbing his jaw. He moves in, feints a lockup and hooks another side headlock.
Heyman: When did D’Lo actually become a good wrestler, huh? I’m asking. Did I miss a memo?
Test goes to shove D’Lo off into the ropes and Brown successfully keeps hold. D’Lo really working the hold now, but Test able to go for a counter in a top wristlock—pushing and straining as he tries to gain the upper hand. Test slowly powering up, and D’Lo can’t keep him down! Now Test starting to push D’Lo down toward the mat, when D’Lo simply lets himself fall and uses Test’s own momentum to bring him over with a modified armdrag.
Heyman: Hey!
JR: D’Lo uses Test’s own size advantage against him there.
D’Lo scrambles to his feet, beating Test by a half-tick and he connects on a second nice armdrag. Waiting for Test now, and takes a run into the far ropes… when Clarke pulls down the top rope and sends D’Lo spilling head over heels to the floor!
JR: And D’Lo Brown with a disastrous tumble to the floor!
Heyman: Did he hit the floor headfirst?
The crowd boos at the shortcut, while
JR: Mark Henry trying to get to his partner, but referee Chad Patton ordering Henry back to his corner…
Heyman: I think he hit the floor headfirst…
Meanwhile, Test and
JR: Blatant
Hakushi storms into the ring, and he starts peppering
JR: Now the referee blocking Hakushi…
Heyman: And unless the ref speaks Japanese, Hakushi’s wasting his breath trying to explain.
Meanwhile,
JR: More dirty tactics by Hostile Takeover!
Hakushi and Henry are both irate now, as
JR: Adams and Clarke targeting the throat of the tag champion…
Heyman: Hard to do much in the ring if you’ve got no air supply, JR.
Clarke follows with a blatant two-handed choke. He milks the count to four, releases the choke, and does it again. Releases again and, as Test writhes on the canvas, connects on a second high legdrop. Clarke covers for one…
two…
Test with a shoulder up.
Clarke tags
Heyman: That’s not gonna help that pre-match dinner digest!
JR: Hakushi and Mark Henry both trying to fire up this crowd… I don’t think either of these teams wants to see Hostile Takeover walk out with the belts tonight.
Heyman: And look, it’s working!
Test starts to power up… elbow to the gut! And another! Physically shoves
Clarke covers.
One!
Two!
Thre—NOOO Test with a shoulder up!
Heyman: That was close!
Clarke, to his credit, going right back to the attack. Irish whips Test into the vacant corner… but Hakushi sprints down the apron to block Test from the turnbuckles with his own body, then reaches in and half drags Test through the ropes.
JR: What a save by Hakushi! And he pulls Test out of harm’s way!
Meanwhile D’Lo slides into the ring! Clarke looks up as D’Lo skies with a flying heel kick! There’s a solid THWACK and the fans OOOOH at the impact as Clarke’s long hair whips backward and he flops to the mat.
Heyman: Brian Clarke’s dentist just bought a BOAT!
D’Lo immediately mounts Clarke and starts hammering away with a frenzied barrage of punches to the head.
JR: Mark Henry just picked the 300-plus
Chad Patton ushering both men out of the ring as D’Lo grabs Clarke for a follow up… and gets caught with a low blow uppercut!
JR: And AGAIN Hostile Takeover cheat behind the ref’s back!
Heyman: With these lucha-type rules, he needs some rear view mirrors or something. D’Lo weakly rolls for the ropes and a woozy Clarke is in no shape to stop him, as he’s slow to stand himself. When D’Lo exits, Hakushi enters the ring. Hakushi spins the now-standing Clarke around and opens up with blistering overhand chops across the chest. Hits a reverse atomic drop, then a kick to the gut… followed by a scissor kick!
JR: Hakushi’s a house afire!
Hakushi goes for the neutral corner and climbs, measuring Clarke for the second rope splash! But
JR: And just like that we’re back to these two rivals.
Test and D’Lo eyeball one another—until Test sprints toward
Heyman: Whoa!
As Adams stands, D’Lo with a standing dropkick… back into the grasp of Test, who hoists
JR: My God, look at this teamwork!
Test covers…
One…
Two…
Clarke in to break it up—and instantly he gets bum-rushed by Mark Henry! Henry and D’Lo toss Clarke out of the ring and follow him out. They hook Clarke, double suplex onto the concrete floor!
JR: The other four men in this match have ganged up on Hostile Takeover!
Heyman: Like you said, JR, neither of these teams wants to see Adams and Clarke walk out with the gold.
Hakushi on the apron, and climbs to the top, walking the rope toward the middle.
Heyman: Look at that balance!
Meanwhile, in the ring, Test spikes
JR: These two rival teams are working as a fluid unit!
Henry over underneath D’Lo, gives him an assist… FROG SPLASH ONTO
JR: ROCKET LAUNCHER FROG SPLASH!
Heyman: D’LO JUST SAILED HALFWAY ACROSS THE RING!
D’Lo cradling his ribs after the impact, but slumps back across
One!
Two!
Three!
The fans ERUPT in cheers.
Finkel: Hostile Takeover have been eliminated!
JR: And now we’re down to the final two teams…
The referee starts rolling
Heyman: Ya know, these two have the power and toughness to physically dominate any one team they face. But they had four guys teaming up against them, and it was too much to take.
Meanwhile, Mark Henry and D’Lo confer in the corner, with D’Lo still favoring his ribs after the frog splash. Test and Hakushi also huddle up in the opposite corner.
JR: Both teams engaging in a little strategy, but Mike Chioda wants this match to continue.
D’Lo and Hakushi exit, leaving the two big men in the ring.
Heyman: Here we go, JR!
JR: As we begin this second and deciding fall, Test and Mark Henry getting ready to lock horns… I think, for the first time ever
Henry approaches, talking trash, and does a double bicep flex. Test says something in reply, then raises an arm over his head for a test of strength. With the five inch height advantage, Henry can barely reach. Test smirks… until Henry TAGS him with a vicious slap that whips Test’s entire head around!
Fans: OOOOOOH!
Heyman: Ya know, call me crazy but I think the teamwork portion of the match between these two pairs is over.
Henry loudly talking smack to Test, who whirls and hits Henry with his big boot! Henry rares back trying to avoid it, and ends up taking a glancing blow.
JR: Quick reflexes by Mark Henry…
Henry staggers but does not fall. Test goes for another big boot… Henry gets his hands up to block! Shoves Test backwards, he bounces off the ropes, comes off with a clothesline, but Henry catches Test with a huge powerslam instead!
Heyman: Wow!
Henry with the cover.
One…
Two…
Kickout!
JR: Near fall by Mark Henry, but if Test had hit that big boot square, I really believe this match would be over.
Henry pulls Test up by two handfuls of hair, and he hits a hair mare.
Heyman: People aren’t supposed to throw 6-foot-8 behemoths like that… they’re just not!
Henry follows up with a measured elbow drop! Henry rolls to his feet and hits a leaping legdrop across the big man’s throat. Back to his feet again, into the ropes, comes off… leaping big splash! Henry bounds to his feet, pumping his fist and talking more trash while Test stays down, cradling his ribs and coughing mightily.
JR: A brutal combination of high-impact moves by the strongman!
Heyman: If Mark Henry had been this aggressive all along, he never would’ve been sent to
Mark Henry turns around, brings Test up by two handfuls of hair and …
Heyman: Is he going for a press slam?!?
Henry sets himself, and he starts trying to military press Test! But no! The champion with a couple of clubbing elbow smashes down across the back of the head. Big forearm shot across the back. Test hooks Henry for a full nelson… goes for the slam but he can’t get the strongman up! Test actually clutching at his ribs after that, rather than his back.
JR: Test couldn’t do it! He’s taken too much damage…
Heyman: I’m not sure if a healthy Test could slam Mark Henry like that!
Henry whirls and catches Test with a sort of spinning back fist!
Heyman: Ooh!
Test reels back into the ropes, and fires off with a desperation right forearm to the jaw. Henry answers with a double trapezius smash, bends his head… and he gets Test up in the military press! The fans ooh, ahh and applaud!
JR: HE DID IT! MY GOD, LOOK AT THE POWER!
Hakushi slides into the ring and DRILLS Henry on the jaw with a superkick! And Test comes crashing down on top of Henry!
JR: LOOK OUT! Test lands on top of Mark Henry!
But there’s no pin, as the ref spends his time trying to get Hakushi out of the ring. Hakushi out, and Patton with the count.
One…
Henry kicks out with authority.
Heyman: Phew!
JR: Not sure if an ordinary man could kick out after having a man the size of Test land on him…
Heyman: An ordinary man never could military press a guy like Test to begin with!
JR: Good point!
Test rolls out of the ring, while Hakushi nimbly leaps to the top rope. With Henry slow to stand, Hakushi proceeds to walk down the rope.
Heyman: He’s like a tightrope artist! … Except, you know, not so fruity.
The crowd applauds the feat of daredevilry. As Henry stands, Hakushi leaps and clocks the strongman with a springboard spinning heel kick!
Hakushi kips up after the impact and runs toward the near ropes, into a handspring, bounces off the ropes and hits a moonsault across Henry!
JR: An amazing combination of moves by Mark Henry!
Cover, and hooks a leg in a deep grapevine.
One!
Two!
Th—
JR: Mark Henry kicks out!
Heyman: But he’s in some serious trouble…
Hakushi up, and tags in Test. Hakushi and Test both move in on Henry, both hook the strongman…
Heyman: You don’t think they can get him up…
The champs hit a big double vertical suplex.
JR: And they do it!
Hakushi exits as Test yanks Henry to his feet and fires him into the ropes. Goes for a back body drop, but Henry able to pull up short and hit a kick under the chin. Henry with a nasty forearm uppercut, and Test’s on rubber legs. Henry backs into the ropes, charges off, extends his arms and drills Test with the full impact of his massive body.
JR: Down goes Test!
Henry follows with a measured elbow drop across the throat. Test gasping for breath, and is able to roll to the outside before Henry grabs him.
Heyman: And just like that, there’s another tag…
Hakushi springs to the top rope, and catches the strongman flush in the face with a missile dropkick! Henry collapses to the canvas, and Hakushi immediately springs back to the top rope.
Heyman: Again with the rope walking!
Hakushi walks across the rope to the nearest corner, leaps off… flying headbutt right to the top of Henry’s skull! Hakushi down for a second, trying to shake the cobwebs loose, then he makes the cover.
One…
Two…
D’Lo in and drags Hakushi off his partner to break up the pin.
D’Lo has Hakushi by one leg, he’s able to get to a standing position on his free leg, Hakushi lunges back with a mule kick to send D’Lo sprawling back against the ropes.
Heyman: Wow!
Test charges into the ring and clotheslines D’Lo head over heels to the floor!
JR: Test and D’Lo go crashing to the floor!
Hakushi fires Henry into the ropes, Hakushi and Test catch him on the rebound and hit a double flapjack! Henry rolls onto his back after the impact, and Test pumps his fist as the crowd cheers wildly.
JR: Some serious momentum on that one! The champs are cookin’ right now!
Hakushi heads for the northeast neutral corner.
Heyman: Second rope splash on the way…
Hakushi sets himself, then pauses… and climbs to the top rope!
JR: These fans cheering as Hakushi pulling out all the stops! But there’s D’Lo!
Up on the apron, Brown tags Hakushi with a roundhouse right, then takes out Hakushi’s legs and crotches him on the top rope! Test sees this and charges D’Lo, going for the big boot. D’Lo dodges it and snaps Test’s leg down across the top rope. The fans ohhh as the big man crumbles to the mat, grabbing at his right knee.
Heyman: BRILLIANT counter!
D’Lo reaches in, grabs Test by a leg and drags him out of the ring as Mark Henry rolls to the floor as well.
JR: Both teams picking up on the lucha-style tag rules fairly quickly…
D’Lo into the ring, grabs Hakushi… running sitout powerbomb out of the corner!
JR: A BIG-TIME POWERBOMB! He’s on top for the cover!
One!
Two!
Thre—HAKUSHI’S SHOULDER UP!
The fans ERUPT at the close call, and even D’Lo checks briefly with the referee to make sure it wasn’t a three count.
Heyman: I thought that was it, JR…
JR: D’Lo Brown, just an eyelash away from regaining the tag team titles!
D’Lo brings Hakushi up, snapmares him over and connects on a running kick between the shoulder blades. Hooks a front facelock, brings Hakushi to a standing position, and right down to the canvas with an inverted DDT. D’Lo up, and points to his team’s corner as the fans roar in approval.
Heyman: Time for the frog splash, JR?
As D’Lo climbs, Henry is into the ring as well and positions himself under D’Lo.
JR: They’re setting up for that rocket launcher frog splash…
Many of the fans come to their feet as D’Lo leaps as Henry flings him off.
The camera [ZOOMS IN] on D’Lo and follows his path as he sails through the air with the frog splash…
ONTO AN EMPTY CANVAS!
JR: HAKUSHI MOVED! HAKUSHI MOVED AT THE LAST SECOND!
Heyman: And D’Lo landed right on those sore ribs!
The crowd is buzzing after that miscue, and now Test stomping his feet and clapping his hands in the corner for his partner. And the fans join right in! Mark Henry bouncing from foot to foot in the opposite corner, screaming for D’Lo to make the tag. Referee Chad Patton with a standing 10 count…
2…
3…
JR: D’Lo is trying to stand but those sore ribs really giving him trouble.
4…
Hakushi gets up, and halfway falls across Brown.
JR: Hakushi takes a tumble… No! Wait!
Hakushi grabs both of D’Lo’s arms, pulls them up against his own throat then sits back, letting D’Lo choke himself out on his own arms.
Heyman: It’s the Goku-Raku Gatame! I LOVE that name…
Mark Henry into the ring to break up the hold with a clubbing forearm to the back of the head.
JR: Here comes Test!
And now the two big men start to duke it out—until Hakushi staggers Henry with a spinning kick to the kidneys. Hakushi turns and catches the rising D’Lo with a running kick to the head, and throws him into the champs’ corner, while Test muscles Henry against the opposite turnbuckles. Both men to the second rope… and they open up with punches to the head as the fans count along to 10!
The champs climb down, Irish whip the challengers toward each other. D’Lo able to reverse Hakushi, who gets whipped into a powerslam by Henry!
JR: POWERSLAM!
Test goes to help his partner, when D’Lo charges. He steps up on Henry’s back, and leaps, clocking Test with a flying heel kick!
JR: Poetry In Motion-type springboard kick by D’Lo!
D’Lo on all fours, pushing a struggling Test until he’s out of the ring. D’Lo spills to the floor as well.
Heyman: D’Lo is on top of Test, JR! He’s trying to pin Test down against the floor so he can’t help his partner!
Henry hooks Hakushi in a gutwrench, and hoists him up into a Canadian backbreaker rack, before dropping down to his knees. The sudden impact jars Hakushi against Henry’s own shoulder blade, and dumps him to the mat. Hakushi writhes weakly on the canvas, grabbing at his lower back.
Crowd: OOOOOOH!
Heyman: That… was… devastating.
Henry stands, hits a leaping legdrop across the throat.
JR: Test is desperately trying to get into the ring, but D’Lo is holding him back with all his might!
Henry runs back into the ropes… big splash! The referee instinctively drops to count the pin, but Henry grabs Hakushi and gets back to a standing position. Hakushi thrashing futilely in the strongman’s grasp. Test’s upper body in the ring now, with D’Lo grabbing onto his legs!
Heyman: Mark Henry has complete control of this match!
JR: And the fans are standing! They can sense a title change!
Henry sets Hakushi, leaps, DRIVES him down into the canvas with a falling slam!
Henry hooks the leg in a deep grapevine—as Test kicks free of D’Lo, sending him back into the rail right on those sore ribs!
One!
Heyman: TEST’S IN THE RING!
Two!
Thre—
JR: TEST BREAKS IT UP!
Henry looks up, flabbergasted, as the fans are going absolutely bananas.
JR: Test saves the titles! My GOD, what a match!
Heyman: I think I need a cigarette! Or a shot of whiskey!
Henry is up and he is throwing a FIT at the close call. He’s over on the other side of the ring, gesturing at D’Lo, who’s still slumped against the rail.
Heyman: Looks like D’Lo took a shot to the ribs again, but Mark Henry needs to focus!
Proving Heyman right, Test drags Hakushi’s carcass toward the ropes, and rolls him out to the floor. By the time Henry turns, Test is waiting—and legal—and nails Henry with the running big boot!
JR: BIG BOOT! DOWN GOES MARK HENRY!
Test pauses for a second, glaring down at Henry… then heads for the neutral corner?
Heyman: Where’s he going?
JR: Test is… is he headed to the top rope?!?
The fans come to their feet in unison like the congregation at a gospel church, ooohing and ahhhing in anticipation. Test to the top and leaps…
JR: DRIVING ELBOW DROP RIGHT INTO THE HEART OF MARK HENRY!
Henry jerks and convulses after the impact, as Test rolls over and makes the lateral press.
One!
Two!
Thre—but D’Lo able to break it up!
Heyman: ANOTHER last-second save!
JR: What’s it gonna take to end this match?!
D’Lo brings Test up by two handfuls of hair, then hits a single arm DDT impacting the arm that delivered the elbow.
Heyman: D’Lo immediately targeting that shoulder…
As Henry rolls for the ropes, D’Lo delivers a couple of stomps to that shoulder, then extends Test’s arm and brings his foot down on the hand.
Head shake… and a legdrop down across the arm! D’Lo immediately rolls over and…
JR: Fujiwara armbar!
Heyman: Test has submitted to this hold before, JR!
But before D’Lo gets it fully hooked, Hakushi’s into the ring. D’Lo sees Hakushi coming, releases Test and meets Hakushi… SKY HI SPINEBUSTER! D’Lo driven into the canvas, and he turns to face Test, who goes for the big boot! D’Lo evades it, spins and brings Test down with the Fujiwara armbar again!
JR: Again to the armbar!
Heyman: And this time, Hakushi’s out of commission!
The fans, still standing, are going crazy at the exchange of moves. D’Lo tries to wrench Test’s arm out of its socket, and also pulls UP on the wrist, creating a second fulcrum at Test’s sore elbow.
Heyman: How is he enduring this?!?
JR: Hakushi is down! Henry is down! Right now it’s down to these two men, who are at the heart of this rivalry!
Meanwhile Test has his free hand wrapped up in his own hair to prevent tapping out. He’s screaming bloody murder but he is refusing to submit! Meanwhile Hakushi is back on his feet. He stomps D’Lo, who won’t release the hold. Kick to the head!
Heyman: WOW!
The kick echoes and the fans ohhh, then explode again when they see D’Lo again has refused to release the hold!
THWACK!
JR: Another vicious kick to the head by Hakushi!
D’Lo shakes off the cobwebs, and wrenches in the armbar with greater intensity.
Heyman: AND STILL HE WON’T LET GO!
As Test writhes in his grasp, D’Lo looks up spewing curses at Hakushi… who unloads with a Tajiri-esque buzzsaw kick! Finally that’s enough to make D’Lo release the hold. Test rolls away, grabbing at his right arm in severe pain.
JR: D’Lo Brown’s lights have been severely dimmed by those kicks to the head.
Hakushi immediately brings D’Lo up into a standing headscissors. Bows his head for a moment in prayer. Mark Henry back on the apron. Hakushi hoists D’Lo for a powerbomb, as Test charges and knocks Henry off the apron with a big boot. Hakushi releases D’Lo, throwing him forward INTO THE NEAR TURNBUCKLES!
Fans: OHHHHH!
The sick impact leaves D’Lo slumped against the bottom turnbuckle like a corpse.
JR: POWERBOMB INTO THE CORNER! MY GOD WHAT A VICIOUS MANEUVER!
Hakushi drags his carcass out from the corner and runs into the ropes. Test approaches and flings Hakushi up into the air! The exertion leaves Test clutching at his arm, as Hakushi CRASHES DOWN across D’Lo with a modified splash!
Heyman: Right onto those ribs!
Hakushi hooks the leg!
One!
Two!
Three!
The bell rings and the crowd erupts, as Hakushi weakly rolls off D’Lo, grabbing at his own abdomen. Test is on his knees, clutching his right arm.
JR: And it’s over! Test and Hakushi retain! MY GOD WHAT A MATCH!
D’Lo is curled up on the canvas, grabbing his injured ribs. Mark Henry on his feet out on the floor, and pounds the apron with two massive clenched fists.
Heyman: That’s one angry strongman!
JR: We saw tremendous action even before the opening bell rang, but if you ask me, business really picked up once it got down to the current champions taking on the former champions. Tag team wrestling is definitely here to stay on Mayhem!
Back in the ring, Chad Patton has retrieved the tag title belts and given them to the champions.
Finkel: Here are your winners… and STILL North American Tag Team Champions… Test and Hakushi!
The crowd applauds as Test’s music hits. The big man raises the title belt with his good arm, while a weary Hakushi thrusts his belt overhead, soaking in the cheers. Meanwhile, D’Lo finally is on his feet, while Henry is already walking to the back.
JR: We have seen Test and Hakushi turn back all comers as the North American tag champions. But tonight, Paul, I think we’ve seen this team turn the corner!
Heyman: Meanwhile Mark Henry’s just left his partner in the ring. He is NOT happy about losing this match.
The champs’ music fades and they turn to face D’Lo, who is now at center ring. He extends his hand to the champs. Hakushi steps forward and shakes D’Lo’s hand as the fans applaud in approval.
JR: What a tremendous show of sportsmanship!
Heyman: Bah, humbug!
Hakushi bows to D’Lo, who bows right back to the champ. Then Test steps forward, eyeing D’Lo… before shaking his hand as well. D’Lo raises Test’s arm as the fans give both men a big ovation.
JR: It’s great to see that after a hard-fought match like we just witnessed!
[CUT] to the arena entrance, where Mark Henry is standing in front of the doors, flinging his hands up in the air before flinging the doors open and stalking through them.
[CUT] back to the ring, as D’Lo exits to leave the champions to celebrate.
JR: D’Lo Brown and Mark Henry apparently on different pages in the wake of an epic tag title match. Let’s go backstage, where Mean Gene is standing by with the Olympian, Kurt Angle…
WIN: Test & Hakushi in 24:09 (retain titles)
Above & Beyond Tournament: Finals
[CUT] to Gene, positioned in front of a blank wall backstage alongside Kurt Angle and Haku.
Gene: We are moments away from the Finals of the Above and Beyond Tournament, and I’m joined by one of the finalists, undefeated Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle. And Kurt, maybe you can clue me in on that semifinal victory, because I didn’t see a lot of your supposed “integrity” in that low blow you dealt to Dean Malenko!
Angle: Hey! Are you insinuating I kicked Dean Malenko in… in… in his privates?!?
Gene: Here, just take a look at this monitor…
[SPLIT SCREEN] as Angle lands in front of Malenko, then kicks back with his right leg to catch the Iceman below the belt with a mule kick.
Gene: There! There it is, plain as day, Kurt!
[SLOW MO of the low blow runs as Angle gives his retort.
Angle: I can’t believe you, Gene. You’ve got a lot of nerve. You’re going to criticize me for a muscle spasm?
Gene: Muscle spasm?!?
Angle: What kind of perfectionist are you to attack someone for an involuntary bodily function. That’d be like ripping someone for having a birth defect, or… or going bald! Yeah!
Gene: You’ve got to be kidding me, I can’t listen to any more of this…
Angle grabs Gene’s microphone as he walks away from the scene in disgust.
Angle: You know, undersized interviewers might have their opinion, but deep down… I know all my fans believe in me. Not only that, they believe in the Three I’s: intensity… integrity… and intelligence. Rob Van Dam, I know you’re going into this match tonight at less than 100 percent after what Regal did to you with those brass knucks. You really think you can wrestle hurt and beat me? On your BEST day, you’re not even in my league. Tonight? I’m going to beat you and win this tournament. And then nothing will stop me from winning the North American Title. [turns to Haku] Big man, you’re sitting this one out. I’m doing this alone.
Angle hands Haku the microphone and walks out of the shot. Haku watches his partner depart, then turns back to the camera.
Haku: Joobadheehaw!
The Tongan bites down on the microphone as the scene [FADES OUT]
Kurt Angle (w/ Haku) (1-0) vs. Rob Van Dam (0-1)
No time limit; referee: Mike Chioda
[FADE IN] to the announce desk, and a close-up of an impressive looking trophy resting on the table. The trophy consists of a large gold cup, resting on what looks to be a finely polished mahogany base.
[ZOOM OUT] to JR and Heyman.
JR: So Paul, that brings us to this. A clash between two wrestlers undefeated in the CWF—you couldn’t ask for more in a tournament final.
Heyman: You know JR, when I looked at the final bracket for this tournament, two names stood out to me: Rob Van Dam, and Kurt Angle. Two men driven to be the best… two men with very different styles, and it should be an incredible match.
JR: The big question, is what does RVD have left in the tank? Yes, Kurt Angle had a grueling semifinal against Dean Malenko, but in RVD’s earlier match, William Regal delivered some pulverizing shots to Van Dam’s kidneys with those brass knucks. We’re about to get the answer. Let’s go to the ring!
[CUT] to a wide shot of the arena, as Angle’s “Medal” fanfare starts up. The boos rain down from the fans within nanoseconds. The massive doors swing open—apparently of their own accord—as the Olympian walks through wearing a hooded red, white and blue jacket. Angle pauses a third of the way down the aisle, flings back his hood and raises his arms in a pose as red, white and blue fireworks shoot off over the wrestlers’ entrance. Angle bellows as the pyro explodes, then advances to the ring with a confident smirk on his face.
Heyman: What an entrance, JR! That’s the type of intro becoming of an Olympic gold medalist!
JR: I can guarantee you that Kurt Angle never faced someone like Rob Van Dam on the amateur mat…
Heyman: Nah, Rob woulda never passed the drug test.
JR: What?
Heyman: Never mind…
Angle steps through the ropes, when his music abruptly cuts off. He looks up, as the opening guitar riff of Pantera’s “Walk” hits, provoking a raucous roar from the crowd.
[CUT] to a close-up of the entrance, as the doors open and Rob Van Dam walks through. His gaze is fixed on the ring with a steely glare, as he approaches the ring at a methodical pace.
JR: No showboating from RVD. No playing to the crowd. Van Dam is all business as he heads into this match…
Heyman: I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen Rob Van Dam so focused!
[CUT] to Angle, bouncing from foot to foot and staring a hole through RVD as he nears the squared circle.
Heyman: RVD may be hurting, JR. He’s got to be hurting. But this is the type of challenge he lives for. I’ve got a feeling that, tonight, we’re going to see why he calls himself Mr. Pay-Per-View…
JR: Let’s go to the Fink for the introductions.
[CUT] to a wide shot of the squared circle, with Finkel standing at center ring.
Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the final match of the Above and Beyond tournament. The winner will be guaranteed a shot at the North American Heavyweight Title. This match is one fall, no time limit; there must be a winner. Your referee is Mike Chioda…
[CUT] to a close-up of Van Dam, stretching in his corner.
Finkel: Introducing first, to my left, from
The crowd recites Van Dam’s name along with Finkel, and the high flyer punctuates it with a leaping spin kick, then takes a few steps toward center ring before the referee stops him.
Fans: R V D! R V D! R V D! R V D!
JR: No doubt who the crowd’s favorite is in this match…
Fans: Ya think?
Finkel: And his opponent…
[CUT] to a close-up of Angle.
Finkel: From
Angle raises his arms and does his turn hopping on one foot as the fans mercilessly boo him. He sheds his robe, and bounces from foot to foot like a prize fighter as Finkel exits.
JR: You can feel the intensity in the building right now. This match has that big-fight type atmosphere…
Heyman: How long will it take for Angle to target Van Dam’s lower back and kidneys, JR? That’s the question that could determine who wins this tournament.
DING DING DING!
And here we go! The crowd roars. Both men out of the corners and start to circle. Van Dam feints a kick to keep Angle at bay. Another kick, Angle ducks it and goes behind RVD for a waistlock. Before he can get it cinched, Van Dam drops to a seated position, then does a forward roll to get safely out of the way. RVD kips up to his feet and turns toward Angle with a smirk as the fans applaud.
JR: Real contrast in styles… Van Dam wants to keep things moving, pick up the pace—while if this match goes to the mat or becomes hold-for-hold… Kurt Angle will have a significant advantage.
Heyman: Especially after the damage Regal did to RVD earlier tonight!
Angle goes right for RVD, and they tie up in a collar and elbow. Both men jockeying for position. Angle tries to shoot the leg but Van Dam kicks free, pulls Angle down into a front facelock.
JR: And now it’s Van Dam taking it to the mat… not sure how I like this strategic choice.
In a sudden burst of motion, Angle squirms out from underneath and brings Van Dam to the canvas with a modified hammerlock takedown. Angle stands but before he can do anything, Van Dam plants his hands and springs forward off the mat.
Heyman: Whoa!
Angle charges, but Van Dam goes for a spinning back kick. Angle puts on the brakes and lands hard on his backside. The fans cheer and laugh as Van Dam shakes his finger, Mutombo-like, at the Olympian.
RVD then points at himself as the fans chant along…
ROB!
VAN!
DAM!
Angle springs off the mat and goes for a big lariat, Van Dam DOWN INTO A SPLIT TO AVOID IT! Angle’s momentum takes him into the ropes, RVD springs back to his feet, catches Angle on the rebound.
JR: BIG hiptoss! Van Dam’s unorthodox style is really keeping Angle off balance.
Heyman: Kurt Angle has never faced someone like Mr. Pay-Per-View…
Follows with a corkscrew legdrop right down across Angle’s face! Angle jerks upon impact, but Van Dam hesitates to follow up for a few ticks.
Heyman: Did you see that? RVD held up and went to grab at that lower back…
Angle meanwhile trying to stand, but Van Dam brings him down to earth with a legsweep. Gets to his feet, grabs Angle’s legs and flips forward into a double leg pinning predicament.
JR: There’s a cover!
One…
Two…
Angle with a bridge up off the canvas!
Heyman: Beautiful!
Both men wrangle for position, Van Dam hooks Angle and drops down into a backslide.
One…
Two…
Angle kicks out, rolling back to his feet.
RVD explodes forward, battering ram-style headbutt to the gut!
JR: There’s a counter Kurt never saw on the amateur mat.
Now Van Dam with a series of big forearms to the jaw, goes for a kick to the gut, Angle blocks, Van Dam steps through and decks the Olympian in the side of the head with a windmill kick! Angle springs right back to his feet, spinning crescent kick snaps Angle’s entire head around!
JR: Good LORD, what a shot!
Van Dam grabs Angle before he can fall and hits a scoop slam. Runs into the far ropes, into a forward roll, comes out of it and leaps…
JR: Rolling Thunder! … And Van Dam is down after hitting the senton!
Angle convulses upon the impact, but RVD is down and clutching at his lower back. RVD starts to stand then crumples back to all fours, pounding the mat with a closed fist.
Heyman: He’s hurt, JR! Regal did more damage than we thought! Van Dam tried to stick with his fast-paced, high-impact offense, but his lower back—and those sore kidneys—betrayed him.
JR: Meanwhile Kurt Angle is up!
Angle flashes a predatory smile as he sees Van Dam struggling. The Olympian moves in behind RVD, grabs him by the back of his ring attire… raises one arm, Van Dam gets free with a very unorthodox reverse mule kick to the chest, then sprawls forward into the ropes. Angle grabs hold of RVD’s leg, but Chioda starts a five count.
Heyman: Van Dam might have just saved himself…
Angle lets go at four, backing away but smiling just the same. He goes into a crouch and beckons to RVD.
JR: Kurt Angle’s seen that weakness. And you know he’s going to zero in on that lower back for however long this match continues.
Heyman: It may not be going much longer, JR!
Van Dam up and turns, still wincing. He steps away from the ropes—and Angle pounces!
JR: Angle immediately on top of Van Dam like a jungle cat!
He grabs one of Van Dam’s legs, RVD immediately leaps and clocks Angle with an enzyguiri to the back of the head!
JR: Big kick rocks Angle again… he’s on dream street!
RVD up to one knee, lunges forward with a shoulder to the gut and pulls Angle into a small package.
One!
Tw—Angle kicks out.
Heyman: RVD tried to surprise Angle there.
Angle starts to his feet, but RVD levels him with a legsweep kick and beats the Olympian vertical. As Angle stands, RVD feints a kick, Angle ducks it, RVD leaps over him and hooks a sunset flip!
JR: Another pin attempt by Van Dam…
Before RVD can bring him down, Angle drops down to one knee.
JR: Angle counters! Van Dam’s shoulders are pinned to the mat!
One…
Two…
Struggling like mad, RVD gets his legs free, hooks Angle and brings him down into a pinning predicament.
One…
Two…
Angle rolls through, and now he’s got one of Van Dam’s legs. RVD with a kick to the face!
Heyman: OOF!
JR: Those educated feet are keeping Van Dam in this match!
Van Dam stands but Angle shoots the leg on him yet again. Van Dam goes for another enzyguiri, Angle ducks it and RVD eats canvas—with Angle still holding the leg.
Heyman: Look at the way Kurt adjusts and adapts, just from moment to moment in a match!
Angle lunges to pounce on top of Van Dam—only to eat a backward mule kick right under the chin!
JR: Kick out of nowhere!!
The Olympian reels away from RVD, who rolls back to his feet and moves in, connecting on a forearm to the side of the head, followed by roundhouse kicks to either ribcage, then a forearm uppercut. The crowd is on their feet as Van Dam unloads on Angle!
JR: Big flurry by Van Dam!
Van Dam fires Angle into the opposite ropes, ducks and hits a BIG back body drop. Angle hits hard and rolls out to the floor. The fans come to their feet in anticipation.
Heyman: This is normally when RVD would take to the air. These fans want to see it, but is Van Dam capable?
Van Dam takes off at a run, then stops, favoring his lower back and shaking his head as the fans boo.
JR: I guess we got our answer to that!
Meanwhile, Angle climbs back into the ring. Van Dam immediately yanks Angle into a front chancery, the Olympian twists free into a top wristlock and starts forcing RVD down to the mat.
Heyman: Earlier Angle was out of sorts, but this injury has forced Van Dam completely out of his comfort zone. Trying to mat wrestle with Kurt Angle?
JR: Meanwhile Angle slowly bending Van Dam backwards, and how much will this torque that lower back and kidneys?
Van Dam starts to bend, then goes limp, dropping prone to the mat. The referee starts to count as Van Dam connects on a nasty kick to Angle’s ribcage! He pulls Angle down by the Olympian’s own wrist, then wraps his legs around the head of Angle… into a triangle choke!
JR: Waitaminute! What in the world… some sort of submission hold…
Heyman: That’s a triangle choke, JR! Straight out of the octagon in UFC!
Angle thrashing as he tries to prevent RVD from fully hooking the hold. His face rapidly turning a dangerous shade of red, Angle pushes forward, trying to roll Van Dam over onto his own shoulders. He does it!
One…
Two…
Van Dam releases Angle, rolling back and away from the Olympian. He starts to roll to his feet, only to get met with a stiff forearm smash to the side of the head.
Heyman: Now THAT is a forearm!
RVD starts to crumple but Angle yanks Van Dam into a front facelock and opens up with a withering barrage of forearm smashes across his lower back!
JR: Angle pulverizing that wounded area on Van Dam! My God, it sounds like an axe chopping into wood!
RVD quickly is driven to his knees, then one knee. Angle roughly shoves Van Dam facefirst against the canvas, rotates until he’s perpendicular to
Heyman: Now, we see the surgeon going to work. Now, we see the amateur background blending with the professional style. Kurt Angle is already one of the most dangerous competitors in the entire CWF.
Angle grabs RVD by his ponytail to roughly yank his head back. Chioda starts a five count for the hair pull and Angle releases and backs off, only to deliver a LEAPING kneedrop back to that same area!
Crowd: OOOOH!
Van Dam rolls away from Angle after the impact, clutching at his kidneys and writhing on the mat. As RVD agonizes, Angle preens to the jeering crowd.
JR: Leaping knee down into the back of Van Dam! Brutal, vicious, deliberate pro wrestling right now from the former champion amateur wrestler…
Angle moves in to either go for the pin or follow up, but Van Dam has enough left in the tank to roll out of reach. He grabs the bottom rope just as Angle wraps him up around the waist. Choida with a count… but Angle just locks his hands and lifts, yanking RVD free of the ropes and FLINGING HIM BACKWARDS WITH A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!
Heyman: LOOK OUT !
Van Dam hits and BOUNCES, sprawling onto his face after the sickening impact.
JR: GOOD GAWD WHAT A SUPLEX!
Angle to his feet, nodding in confidence and lets out a big “Yeahhh!”, then goes into his slow spin.
JR: And again Angle showboats…
Heyman: When you’re that good, JR, you’re allowed to showboat.
Chioda scolds Angle for ignoring the rope break, but the Olympian just shrugs past the referee and connects on a measured boot to the head of Van Dam. Grabs RVD by the hair and pulls his carcass to center ring. Yanks Van Dam up, grabs him by the ring attire and yanks him back into a forearm to the kidneys. RVD cringes, dropping to his knees.
JR: Angle slowing down the pace now… really taking his time and going to work on the injured RVD.
Angle smirking now, pulls Van Dam’s head back by his ponytail… elbow smash to the face, them rams him facefirst to the canvas. Follows that with a leaping stomp to the lower back!
JR: A Garvin-like stomp by Kurt Angle, and now he grinds his heel right into the kidneys of Van Dam!
Heyman: We are witnessing a transformation, JR. Kurt Angle is becoming a true professional wrestler before our very eyes tonight!
JR: And this
Angle brings Van Dam up to a vertical base, shoves him back into the nearest set of ropes, knee to the gut. Pushes RVD back against the ropes, winds up for a chop… and lightly paintbrushes RVD across the face.
JR: What disrespect!
Angle laughs, as RVD unloads with a WICKED roundhouse right! Angle staggers, and RVD sneering in pain and rage now!
JR: I think he woke Van Dam up with that love-tap slap!
Heyman: I think you’re right!
Angle shakes it off and turns back to face RVD, takes another big right. Van Dam follows through with his entire body, uses the momentum to connect on a spinning back fist to the other side of Kurt Angle’s head. Van Dam with a hand behind Angle’s head, shoves him forward as he brings his right leg up in a sudden arc… catching Angle with a STIFF kick right under the chin!
Heyman: WOW!
The Olympian’s head snaps up, his eyes completely glazed over.
JR: Angle is on dream street!
Van Dam with a front facelock, hooks one of Angle’s legs… hoists the Olympian for a Perfectplex… and DROPS HIM RIGHT ON HIS HEAD!
Crowd: OHHHH!
JR: FISHERMAN’S BRAIN BUSTER!
Van Dam into a bridge!
One!
Two!
Thre—NOOO ANGLE WITH THE SHOULDER UP! The fans groan at the close call.
JR: My God how close was that?!?
Heyman: Van Dam can beat you in a hurry. That combination almost won him this tournament.
JR: Van Dam struggling to his feet but Angle is in a bad way now as well. Both men have been in a bad way tonight. They’re both wrestling their second match of the night. It’s crunch time, Paul! It’s time to dig down deep! Because the prize is a shot at the North American Title!
Both men stay down for several seconds. RVD stands first, but rather than go to the top, he goes into a crouch, waiting on his opponent.
JR: Van Dam staying on the mat when he usually might fly.
Heyman: Can he even go up top right now with that lower back?
Angle stands, and RVD goes for a super kick. Angle dodges it! Steps behind Van Dam, reverse waistlock, hoists him for a belly-to-back suplex… DROPS HIM DOWN ACROSS AN OUTSTRETCHED KNEE IN A BACKBREAKER!
Crowd: OHHHHH!
JR: Good LORD!
Angle almost folding RVD’s legs over onto his torso as he makes the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THREENO!
VAN DAM SHOOTS A SHOULDER OFF THE MAT AT THE LAST NANOSECOND!
JR: RVD KICKS OUT! KURT ANGLE CAN NOT BELIEVE IT!
Heyman: Neither can I! And neither can these fans!
JR: My God what a backbreaker. I don’t have any clue how Van Dam was able to escape that, after the punishment he’s sustained!
Angle yanks Van Dam up off the mat, hooks him… ANGLE SLAM! NO! Van Dam rakes Angle’s eyes and drops down behind the Olympian. Reaches back… hangman’s neckbreaker!
JR: What a counter for the Angle Slam! Van Dam still with a little elusiveness left in the tank! But now both men down again…
BUT SUDDENLY VAN DAM KIPS UP! He’s on rubber legs but he points to the nearest corner.
JR: And NOW it’s time to fly! Van Dam is feeling it!
Van Dam over, grabs the top rope and leaps to the top! He turns around…
Heyman: ANGLE IS UP!
The Olympian charges Van Dam, leaping to the middle rope, but before he can grab Angle, RVD shoves the Olympian off to the mat. Angle lands on his feet, Van Dam leaps with a flying sidekick… Angle ducks and RVD OBLITERATES THE REFEREE WITH THE KICK!
JR: LOOK OUT!
Chioda sent sprawling backwards and hits the mat hard, his carcass weakly rolling through the ropes to splat on the floor. Meanwhile, RVD lands on his feet after the kick but Angle’s right behind him—German suplex! Rolls back to his feet… another German! Rolls to his feet a third time… release German suplex!
Heyman: We’ve lost our referee, and meanwhile Kurt’s putting on a suplex clinic!
Angle pulls Van Dam up by the hair, hooks him and FINALLY hits the Angle Slam!
JR: Angle Slam!
Heyman: That oughta do it… if we had a referee, of course.
Angle over to try and rouse the referee. He hauls Chioda’s limp body up on the apron and starts jostling him as RVD rolls out to the floor.
JR: And some smart strategy there!
Heyman: Now even if there WAS a referee—which there’s not—he couldn’t pin Van Dam!
Angle out to the floor.
Heyman: Look under the ring, Kurt!
JR: That’s not like you to turn on an ECW alum. Must be one of the guys you owe money.
Heyman: Very funny!
JR: I thought so!
As the announcers banter, Angle continues to look for Van Dam.
[CUT] to a wide shot as Mr. Pay-Per-View crawls out from under the apron on the other side of the ring holding a steel chair. The fans ooh and cheer as Van Dam climbs in the ring, while Angle keeps searching in apparent obliviousness.
JR: Van Dam sizing up Kurt, who seems none the wiser!
Heyman: Those I’s aren’t for instinct, are they?
Van Dam with a running start, holding the chair down at his side… sets the chair against his feet and goes for a baseball slide dropkick—which Angle avoids.
Heyman: Empty on the chair-surf dropkick!
Van Dam slides out on his feet, Angle behind him, hoists him for an Angle Slam AND SPINS HIM INTO THE RINGPOST!
Crowd: OHHHHH!
JR: VAM DAM DRIVEN MIDSECTION-FIRST INTO THE POST!
Angle drops Van Dam in a heap to the floor.
Heyman: He’s not only an Olympic champion, he’s an Oscar-caliber actor! Hulk Hogan can take “No Holds Barred” and cram it! Angle totally lured Van Dam into his clutches there!
JR: Well he deked Van Dam and delivered a devastating shot into the post! He has GOT to have internal injuries…
The Olympian rolls RVD’s corpse into the ring and starts to follow… then pauses.
[CUT] to a side view, which details Angle staring straight at the steel chair.
JR: Oh, now hold on just a minute here…
Angle grabs the chair and brings it into the ring with him!
Heyman: Kurt Angle has decided to take this match… to the EXTREME…
Angle brandishing the chair as Van Dam remains down, grabbing at his side and trying in vain to get back on his feet. The fans are screaming bloody murder, and Mike Chioda is only now starting to show signs of life.
JR: Dammit, there’s no cause for this!
Heyman: Hey, RVD brought the chair into play. You live by the sword, you die by the sword. That’s the code in ECW, JR. Van Dam knew that; this is the price you pay!
When RVD sags to the canvas a second time, Angle brings it down across his back! Van Dam buckles on the canvas, arching his back. Angle measuring Van Dam again.
JR: Dammit, Kurt, just end the match!
Heyman: We have to have a referee for that.
JR: Then get a ref out here for cryin out loud!
Van Dam up to his knees, and Angle raises the chair for a murderous blow to the head… he swings the chair down… RVD rolls out of the way and the chair smashes into the canvas! Van Dam kips up! Angle raises the chair and turns… RVD leaps…
THU-WACK!
Heyman: VAN DAMINATOR!
JR: MY GOD, VAN DAMINATOR! THE CHAIR DRIVEN RIGHT INTO THE FACE OF KURT ANGLE! DOWN GOES ANGLE! DOWN GOES ANGLE!
Angle is left flat on his back with the chair lying dormant in his hand. After hitting the kick, Van Dam lands on his feet, lists backward against the ropes… then flops forward across Angle. RVD pushes at the chair with one foot, knocking it out under the bottom rope… just as a conscious Mike Chioda crawls over.
JR: There’s a cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The crowd erupts, as Chioda weakly calls for the bell before slumping lifeless to the mat again. All three men in the ring remain down as the fans wildly applaud.
JR: Rob Van Dam has beaten the odds, and won the Above and Beyond tournament! And Kurt Angle just suffered his first loss in the CWF!
Heyman: I thought Angle had him, JR! I was sure of it!
Chavo Guerrero Sr. is headed out now, and he’s applauding the entire way to the ring. He motions to a couple of nameless staff in security shirts at ringside, and they bring the trophy into the squared circle. Referees Scott D’Amore and Chad Patton also hustle out and begin tending to the three fallen individuals in the ring.
Heyman: Oh sure, NOW there’s a ton of referees available. What, were they on their smoke break earlier?
JR: You sound a little bitter, Paul.
Heyman: Just speaking the truth. And the truth is… Kurt Angle had Van Dam BEAT, plain and simple, clean as can be, in the middle of that ring.
JR: Before or after he brought the chair in play?
Heyman: … All right, that’s a good point.
Van Dam and Angle finally getting back to their feet. Angle’s leaning against Patton, then stumbles against the ropes. RVD is limping, but upright… and finally thrusts his arms in the air in victory. Angle sees this, and suddenly shoves away from Patton.
Heyman: I think Angle just now realized what happened.
JR: He really got clobbered by that Van Daminator…
Chavo: It is my pleasure at this time… to present this trophy to the winner of the Above & Beyond Tournament… Rob… Van… Dam!
The fans chant the name along with the Commissioner, and “Walk” starts up as Van Dam hobbles forward to shake the hand of Guerrero… as Angle slides out of the ring. He picks up the fallen chair and hurls it.
JR: Look out!
The announcers—and everyone in the ring—scatter as Angle tosses the chair over the squared circle, where it lands with a clatter right next to the announce table. Angle stomps away from ringside and toward the back, stopping only to kick at the railing or jaw at some heckling fan.
JR: I think we just saw a fourth I… infantile! Because Kurt Angle is throwing a tantrum.
RVD watches Angle depart, shrugs and finally shakes Chavo’s hand. Wincing, he climbs to the middle rope in the nearest corner, pointing to himself as the crowd roars. “Walk” starts up again, and RVD scales down from the corner ropes as Chavo hands him the trophy. Van Dam holds the trophy in one hand and bows as the fans applaud.
JR: We have a winner in the Above and Beyond tournament, and his name is Rob Van Dam. He’s got a guaranteed title shot against the winner of tonight’s main event… between Chris Benoit… and reigning champion, Sabu. Right now, though, let’s go to a very special announcement.
WIN: RVD by pin in 15:05 (wins tournament)
Coming Soon...
[CUT] to a shot of the
[CUE] a montage. There are various images of
Voiceover: The
[FADE OUT] to a wide shot of the
[CUT] back to a close-up of JR and Heyman at ringside.
JR: Folks, that’s right. The developmental system of the CWF has expanded to include a second territory in the heart of one of
Heyman: Trust me when I say this, JR. You DO NOT want to miss the first episode of this new promotion.
JR: With that, it’s time for our main event. Sabu… Chris Benoit… the North American Title at stake! Let’s go to the ring…
THE MAIN EVENT: North American Heavyweight Title Match
Sabu (C) (w/ Vince McMahon) (0-0) vs. Chris Benoit (1-0)
One hour time limit; referee: Nick Patrick
[CUT] to a wide shot of the arena, as AC/DC’s “Locked And Loaded” starts up. The fans cheer, as the camera [CUTS] to the entrance and Chris Benoit comes through the doors.
Heyman: Chris Benoit broke Sabu’s neck, JR. He has hurt Sabu like no one else before or since. He is in Sabu’s head. And now, he has a chance to use that history—that fear, deep within Sabu—to try and win his championship.
Benoit reaches the ring area, and the volume of the crowd’s cheers intensifies as he climbs the corner ropes, pounding his own chest with a closed fist in acknowledgment of their support. Benoit hops down into the ring…
… When his music abruptly cuts off, and is replaced by “Crazy Train.”
Benoit swivels, as the camera [CUTS] to a wide shot of the entrance. The twin Jumbotrons show various highlights of Sabu’s high-flying and hardcore daredevilry. The doors open and Sabu steps through, walking side by side with Vince McMahon, who is carrying a briefcase. The crowd erupts in boos as Sabu pauses, points at the sky, then heads for the ring, pointing now at Benoit.
JR: The Corporate Champion, making his way to the ring…
Heyman: But what’s with the briefcase, I wonder?
JR: He is suicidal… homicidal… and genocidal… but Paul, as you know very well, there may not be a tougher man in all of wrestling.
Heyman: There’s no doubt about it, JR. Sabu puts his body on the line on a nightly basis! When he wants something, or in this case wants to keep it, he is damn near impossible to put down for the count.
Sabu keeps pace with Vince, held in apparent check by the presence of his employer. The two men leisurely stroll down the aisle, even as Benoit saunters to the near ropes. As Sabu and Vince reach ringside, senior referee Nick Patrick steps in to make sure Benoit heads to a neutral corner and allows the champ to enter.
JR: Fans, the time for talk is over! Benoit earned this shot earlier tonight. Can he capitalize on the opportunity?
Heyman: Either way, we’re in store for a classic match.
JR: Let’s go to Howard Finkel in the ring…
[CUT] to a wide shot of the ring. Sabu is crouched in his corner, eyeing Benoit and the Rabid Wolverine is talking a bit of trash across the squared circle as the Fink steps to center ring.
Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen… this match is your Main Event of the evening! It is scheduled for one fall with a one hour time limit, and is for the North American Heavyweight Championship…
Finkel pauses as the fans cheer—and during the lull, Vince McMahon steps forward and yanks the microphone out of Finkel’s hand! The roar of approval immediately morphs into a chorus of boos before Vince even utters a single syllable.
Vince: Thank you, Howard, but I’ll take it from here. Chris… now hold on a minute, Chris…
Benoit starts toward McMahon, but Sabu steps in front of his boss and the referee gets in the middle to keep the two combatants separated.
Vince: Now listen, dammit! I’ve got something to say before this match begins, and if you’re a smart man, you’ll hear me out. Since you arrived here, you’ve made your purpose clear. You want to stand at the top of the mountain, and take the title my Corporate Assassin Sabu now holds. But Chris… you need to think of the bigger picture. Think of all the champions… some of them tremendous wrestlers… who didn’t make the most of their talents. They never got that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. That one, glorious chance to reach the top! They were brought down by jealous friends… or back-stabbing, money-grubbing promoters.
Heyman: Lightning is going to strike Vince McMahon dead if he continues down that road!
Vince: So Chris, you need to ask yourself a question. You need to ask yourself… do you want one chance at becoming a champion now? Or do you want to be a main eventer at the top of this sport for the next decade? Because the only man who can guarantee you that kind of success… is Vincent Kennedy McMahon!
The fans are really booing now, and Benoit just stands there with his arms crossed.
Vince: Stop and think for a moment, Chris. Think of all the time you spent in WCW. Just think of all the people there who kept you down, who held you back! Well I spent the better half of two years beating WCW in the ratings each and every week. I’m the most successful promoter in the history of this business.
Heyman: And the biggest thief…
JR: Let it go, Paul…
Vince: With Vince McMahon in your corner, Chris, there’s no telling how high your star will climb! And that’s what I am offering you tonight. Not the chance to beat Sabu… but the chance… to join him.
The fans are booing loudly now.
JR: Is he serious?
Vince: That’s right, Chris, I’m giving you the chance of a lifetime. I am offering you a spot in what will soon be known as the most elite… most dominant force in the history of wrestling, my Corporation. Oh, and by the way, there’s a small signing bonus involved…
Vince lowers the microphone and walks right up to Benoit.
Heyman: Who would have ever thought Benoit would let Vince get that close to him?
Vince whispers something in Benoit’s ear, and immediately the Canadian Crippler takes a step back in surprise. Vince laughs, nodding and raising the briefcase in his hand.
Vince: That’s right, Chris. Stop and think about that. Think about the life-changing amount of money I’m offering you. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. You see, I may not be a promoter any longer, but I am still a very rich man. Richer, I’d wager, than anyone in this company except Mr. Cuban himself. Quite simply, Chris, I’m offering you everything you’ve ever wanted. Fame. Fortune. Glory. And stardom. All you have to do… is call off this match… and shake… my… hand.
The fans are really up in arms now, many of them booing while others are screaming no.
The microphone picks up one fan loudly scream “Don’t do it, Chris!”
Benoit, meanwhile, is pacing back and forth on his side of the ring.
JR: This… we have seen some wild things tonight but I never expected to see a scene like this. You’ve got to wonder if Vince isn’t concerned about Sabu’s health. Remember that grueling defense against Owen Hart just three days ago…
Heyman: JR, I worked with Chris Benoit for years. He loves to compete in that ring more than anyone I’ve ever met. For him to have a match like this, for a title of this magnitude, on this stage… and actually consider backing out?!? I can’t imagine…
Heyman is broken off as Benoit suddenly stalks across the ring toward McMahon. The champ stands there, ready to strike. Benoit reaches up quickly, and McMahon flinches, anticipating a blow…
Only to have Benoit pull him into a handshake.
Heyman: OH, WHAT THE HELL?!?
Like the flip of a switch, the entire crowd explodes in boos and hatred at the scene in the ring. Vince seems almost incredulous as he raises Benoit’s arm… then pulls the Canadian Crippler into an embrace!!! The fans are absolutely LIVID now, many of them throwing food, drinks and anything else they have available into the ring.
JR: Fans, we’ve had to cut my broadcast partner’s microphone.
[CUT] to Heyman, now standing at the broadcast position, pointing at the ring and screaming at the top of his lungs. The audio feed has been dampened significantly but the syllables “uck” and “you” are clearly heard over and over again.
Benoit now shakes the hand of Sabu, and the storm of garbage into the ring intensifies.
JR: I… I don’t know what to say… hell with that, yes I do. This is the same kind of BS that went on when I worked for that sonofabitch. Vince McMahon doesn’t give a damn about loyalty, or the fans, or what’s right. He just does whatever the hell he wants. And now, he’s corrupted Chris Benoit… and deprived Mayhem of the main event on its very first pay-per-view!
Vince stands in between the two men, beaming like a proud parent, as Chris Benoit raises the arm of Sabu to another chorus of boos.
JR: I don’t… How did this happen? Benoit has sold his soul to the Satan of pro wrestling himself! How… how…
JR seems stunned into silence as the camera [CUTS] to a wide shot of the ring, as Vince is celebrating between his champion and latest acquisition.
Suddenly, there’s a roar from a section in the crowd. It builds and builds like the momentum of an oncoming wave…
And then explodes.
JR: MY GAWD IT’S TAZ!
The Human Suplex Machine is in the ring! Taz sprints right at Benoit and nails him with a running haymaker to the side of the head!
Fans: OOOOH!
Sabu starts to charge but Vince pulls him back! Taz grabs the Canadian… nasty head-and-leg suplex dumps Benoit right on his head! Vince and Sabu bail out to the floor, and Taz is left alone in the ring!
JR: TAZ HAS CLEARED THE RING! AND THESE FANS HAVE COME UNGLUED!
Taz picks up the microphone abandoned by Vince during his escape as Benoit joins his apparent new boss on the floor.
Taz: I’m not about to sit back there, and put up with this bullshit!
The crowd ROARS in approval.
JR: Amen!
Heyman: If the censors have a problem with that, then screw ’em!
Taz: Benoit? Brutha, I used to respect you but you’re nuthin but a goddamn sellout. And Sabu? You’re the toughest man I ever faced. There ain’t no question about that. We fought and bled all over
[CUT] to Sabu on the outside of the ring. The champion is glaring death at the Human Suplex Machine and trying to get into the squared circle, but Vince McMahon keeps holding him off.
Taz: Then let’s do this ECW-style. Prove to me, and everybody else here, that you ain’t some chickenshit sellout. You and me, for that title. Right. [BLEEEEEEP]. NOW!!!
JR: ALL RIGHT!
The crowd ERUPTS. Taz spikes the microphone and goes into a crouch, beckoning to Sabu. Taz is still talking trash at the champion, who now has both Vince and Benoit holding him at bay.
JR: Taz has thrown down the gauntlet! He’s called Sabu every name in the book.
Heyman: And it worked. Sabu is almost foaming at the mouth. Taz has tapped back into the untamed part of his brain that makes Sabu the crazy son of a bitch he is!
Crowd: LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!
The chant is quickly picked up and echoes through the building.
JR: Commissioner Guerrero back out here for the second straight match.
Some of the fans boo at sight of the authority figure. Vince McMahon is whispering constantly in Sabu’s ear as Guerrero picks up the fallen microphone and gets in between Taz and the ropes.
Guerrero: Enough! I settle this right now… Benoit? You forfeit your title opportunity, that’s your choice. Sabu! You wanna face him and defend the title?
Vince is almost pleading with Sabu, who nods feverishly and points at Taz.
Guerrero: Then I officially sanction this match. Ring the bell!
Sabu (C) (w/ Vince McMahon) (0-0) vs. Taz (1-0)
One hour time limit; referee: Nick Patrick
DING DING DING!
The roar that goes up from the crowd threatens to shake the very rafters. Sabu breaks free of Vince and Benoit and slides into the ring. He springs to his feet and meets Taz. Both men cut loose with wild, merciless punches and the din from the crowd somehow intensifies.
JR SABU AND TAZ BEATIN’ THE HOLY HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER FROM THE OPENING
Senior referee Nick Patrick trying to separate the two men and end the barrage of illegal closed fists.
Heyman: And I already see blood, JR!
Indeed, Taz is bleeding from the nose and mouth while Sabu has been opened up over his right eye. Neither man’s even fazed by the blood or pain, as they tie up. Taz hauls Sabu to the ground and gets on top, bludgeoning him with forearm shots to the head—until Sabu with a headbutt to stagger Taz, then a blatant eye gouge. Taz sprawls backwards in pain and surprise and a bloody Sabu springs up, laying a two-handed choke on the challenger.
Heyman: This is not a wrestling match right now, JR. This is a fight!
Nick Patrick back into the fray, beginning a quick five count before Sabu can choke the life out of Taz. Patrick physically pulls Sabu away, admonishing the champion about the illegal tactics. Meanwhile Taz up to one knee and stands.
[CUT] to Taz, almost quivering in fury…
Heyman: I’ve seen that before. When Taz has that look in his eye, you do NOT wat to be in the ring against him!
Sabu shoves past the referee and leaps. Catches Taz with a high cross body, and the momentum sends both men end over end out to the floor! The fans OOOH as both men hit the floor with a resounding SPLAT. The referee out to check on both men… only to find them trading punches while prone on the floor!
JR: Both men seem semi-conscious, and they’re still pounding on one another!
Sabu the first to his feet, albeit on rubber legs. The fans boo as he points up at the rafters, blood now trickling down the right side of his face. Sabu with a measured kick to the head of Taz, who’s still down. Pulls the challenger to his feet, turns and delivers an Irish whip that sends Taz hard into the railing!
Heyman: This is Sabu’s natural element, JR. Ric Flair calls himself the dirtiest player in the game? Well, Sabu INVENTED the game.
Taz rolls away after the sick impact, clutching at his back. Sabu over, stopping at Finkel’s announce position along the way.
JR: Run for your life, Fink!
He grabs the announcer’s microphone and yanks the cord loose, dragging it behind him like a leash attached to an invisible dog. Sabu takes the cord and wraps it around Taz’s neck, throttling him with it! That brings Patrick to the outside, trying to get Sabu to break the choke. Sabu does, then spits on Taz’ carcass.
Heyman: Sabu has taken complete and total control over this match!
JR: Remember, Sabu survived that tough defense against Owen Hart. He might be trying to end this one in a hurry…
As the announcers speak, Sabu climbs up onto the nearest chair and points to the rafters again, as the fans boo the daylights out of him. Sabu grabs Taz and heaves him up and over the rail, dumping him on the floor. He turns as Vince tosses him a chair. Sabu backs up, takes off running, leaps to the top of the chair and SKIES with Air Sabu, nailing Taz just as he reaches his feet!
JR: SABU FLIES INTO THE CROWD!
Both men collapse in a heap again, and many of the fans are silent at this sudden change in momentum. Nick Patrick following the combatants, trying to get the match back into the ring.
Heyman: Remember, no countouts here on Mayhem, JR… This one can continue at the referee’s discretion!
Sabu behind Taz, brings him up to his knees and starts clawing at his nose, mouth and face. New blood starts to flow as Taz writhes in the champion’s clutches! Sabu releases Taz, and he takes the chair out from under a fan.
JR: Talk about getting up, close and personal to the action!
Sabu rears the chair back, but Nick Patrick grabs the weapon. Sabu shoves the referee away and raises the chair, but by now Taz has turned around. Hits a head butt to the gut, then a forearm uppercut! Sabu’s head snaps back and he drops the chair.
JR: Taz saves himself from getting brained with the chair!
Heyman: And Sabu’s lucky he didn’t get disqualified!
Taz grabs Sabu and gives him an Irish whip, and the champion SENT HURTLING INTO A ROW OF SEATS! FANS
JR: GOOD LORD!
Sabu trying to extricate himself from the wreckage, and all the fans nearby are standing, with security trying to hold them at bay as Taz approaches to dole out more punishment.
JR: How do you fake getting thrown into 20 steel chairs?!?
Heyman: I don’t think ya do!
Taz brings Sabu up by the hair, two-handed Beal towards the ring, and into more chairs! Fans scatter as the champ goes over, into and through the chairs.
JR: The chairs are the bowling pins—and right now, Sabu is the ball!
Once the dust settles, Taz walks business-like across the chairs toward Sabu, who is now on his hands and knees crawling back toward the ring with one chair hanging around his neck and the seat pressed against the back of his head. Taz grabs the back of the chair and yanks back, strangling Sabu against one of the chair struts now jammed against his throat!
JR: This match is quickly getting out of control!
Heyman: It’d be just another week in the ECW Arena, JR!
Sabu’s tongue lolls out, and the nearby fans are going crazy at being so close to the action! Finally Taz wrenches the chair free of Sabu’s head. Taz places the chair on the ground and picks up Sabu, positioning him for a pump handle. Taz going to drop Sabu right onto that chair! Instead, Taz with the pump handle… into a release suplex!
JR: WAIT WAIT LOOK OUT!
SABU THROWN BACKWARDS OVER THE RAIL AND LANDS ON THE FLOOR RINGSIDE!
The fans EXPLODE at the enormous throw, coming to their feet around the arena.
Fans: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
The folks located immediately around Taz are going particularly apeshit. Sabu is crumpled up in a heap.
JR: Vince and Benoit both seem shocked! Their champion is getting decimated by Taz!
Taz casually climbs over the rail, grabs Sabu by a handful of hair and shoves his carcass into the ring. Follows him in and hits a wicked T-Bone suplex that tosses Sabu across the squared circle! Taz with a cover.
One!
Two!
No! Sabu kicks out!
Taz seems a bit surprised, but the escape breathes new life into Vince McMahon, who starts pounding on the apron and screaming to his charge. Taz brings Sabu back to his feet, Northern lights suplex into a bridge.
One…
Two…
and Sabu kicks out again.
Taz brings Sabu back to a vertical base. He waffles Sabu with a forearm to the back of the head, then hooks both arms and hits a Tiger suplex. Taz keeps hold, rolls through with Sabu still in his grasp, and hits a German suplex. Taz releases Sabu, only to yank him back to his feet, hook him, NASTY head and arm suplex!
JR: That could do it!
One!
Two!
Thr—No!
Sabu with a shoulder up again!
[CUT] to Vince McMahon screaming to Sabu.
Taz, meanwhile, gets back to his feet, glaring down at Sabu, who is obviously in a bad way but still trying to stand and fight. Sabu struggling to his knees, as Taz bends down and…
Heyman: TAZMISSION! TAZ GOING FOR THE TAZMISSION!
Taz almost has it cinched when Sabu somehow squirrels free and dives forward into the ropes, hanging on for dear life. Taz pursues, and that brings Vince McMahon up onto the apron to protest.
JR: Oh, now what the hell?!?
As Nick Patrick deals with Vince, Benoit up on the other side of the ring, and he’s working on the top turnbuckle pad in the far, northwest corner. Benoit quickly unties the pad and removes it, then hops down just as Taz sees him and runs over. Benoit taunting Taz with the pad, which he promptly ditches under the ring as the referee gets Vince down off the apron. Taz turns back to Sabu, who explodes forward with a spear! Tackle DRIVES Taz back into the corner!
JR: What a spear! And the back of Taz’ head just went into that exposed turnbuckle!
Taz instantly crumbles, clutching at the back of his head like he’s been stabbed. Sabu goes for the quick cover!
One!
Two!
No!
Taz kicks out… and both men remain down.
Heyman: Taz could have suffered a CRIPPLING injury just then…
Nick Patrick begins a standing 10 count. Vince McMahon is over right near Sabu, pounding furiously on the ring apron and screaming at the champion to rise and attack.
[CUT] to a close-up of Taz, who’s rolled onto his side and has a very glassy look in his eyes.
JR: You’ve gotta wonder how much Taz has left in the tank after that!
Sabu struggling to his feet, and he sees Taz down. A sick smile flashes across the face of the Corporate champion, who drags Taz by a leg away from the ropes.
Heyman: This is like blood in the water to Sabu…
Sabu scales the ropes in the corner, takes a step out onto the rope, sits out and flips back with a modified moonsault. Leaps to his feet and hits a legdrop across the obviously injured neck of Taz. And another! And a third! Sabu brings Taz to his feet, front facelock, scales the corner ropes effortlessly and leaps off with a WICKED spinning tornado DDT.
Heyman: OOOH!
JR: WHAT A COMBINATION!
Sabu rolls Taz over and covers: