~~*BREAKING NEWS*~~ (Tuesday 28th October 2003)

There has been yet another sighting of a Flying Onion flock in New South Wales, Australia. They are said to have been migrating there from South Africa, seeking the warmer weather. The flock was seen by a resident of Goulburn, as she was walking her dog late this morning. "They came out of nowhere," Mrs. Lambert told reporters, "But as soon as I wanted a second look, they were gone, they must've been flying about 140 kilometres an hour!" Scientists who have also sighted the Flying Onions have confirmed that their estimated speed can reach up to 160 kilometres per hour, making them faster than a cheetah. Australian Prime Minister John Howard has also made a comment on the Flying Onions. "If they haven't hurt anyone yet, then they are harmless until proven dangerous. If we leave them alone, they will do the same for us. But I'm pretty f***ing baffled over how the f*** onions ever grew f***ing wings! Where the f*** did they come from? They can't just sprout wings right out of f***ing nowhere!" Sounds like Mr. Howard needs to have a look at our website!