Starting a Group

There has been quite a bit written lately about the start of the group so I thought I would write and tell all of you from my prospective how the group in Ottawa got started.

I started dressing as some of us have, I was 5 or 6, it was Halloween and I had no costume so my mother blesses her dressed me in one of my older sisters dresses.

When I had the dress on she asked if I wanted some padding up front, I said yes and received a 32-A bra with Kleenex to fill out the little cups, panties, and when I complained that my legs were cold I also so got a pair of tights.

That was the start of my love for female attire, borrowing things from my sisters or mother when ever I could, so by the time I was in my teens I was fully committed to crossdressing at least in secret .

It was wonderful and lonely at the same time, many of nights I sat by my self and cried out of joy and loneliness, I thought I was gay or some how perverted, why did I like this.

Well, that’s one I struggled with for many years, then I finally decided, because I had tried to quit and had many purges without success this was just something I would have to live with.

For many years I thought that I was the only one in the world with this strange urge to dress in women’s clothing and there was no one that I could talk to.

I tried going to the library, they had nothing then one day I saw a television show that had crossdressers on it and an address in the states of TRIESS.

I sent for the information package and received it 2 or 3 weeks later.

There I found out I was not the only one that dressed this way, and seeing others like my self in a group made me mad that there were no groups in OTTAWA.

There was a directory of members with a pictures and profiles of the individuals, there was one that I found so good looking that I found it hard to believe this was any thing other than what it appeared to be, a nicely dressed women.

So I sent out a letter to him (Jenny), with the return letter I received a phone number in Florida.

I called them talking to Jenny and his wife Yvonne after many hours they invited me to come down anytime for a group meeting and they would even put me up at there house for the duration of the time I was there.

After hanging up the phone I begin to think of the trip and problems that such a trip mite cause, like how I would get my clothes down there, customs, coming back and what it would be like to meet others like my self, I was still quite far in the closet.

Well, I took the plunge and booked a ticket for the weekend that night.

The reality of what I was about to do reached me and I called to tell them I was coming down but that I could not figure out how to get my stuff down there.

I was told not to worry about it and they would lend me any thing I needed while I was there, as Jenny and I were about the same size.

They have a lovly home in Orlando, with trees all around the back 40 acres of there property so I was able to dress and walk around freely outside in the sunshine, something I had never been able to do before, it is close to Disneyland but for me I was already there.

I spent the day by my self, I tried on all most every thing they had including one/two piece swim suites and that night met all the members of the Orlando group, they were great, I was made to feel right at home.

I spent the weekend there where I toured Kennedy Space Center, went groceries shopping all as Judy and when I left I felt a deep sense of loss, or maybe it was that I was just mad that it had to end.

Why could they have a group and OTTAWA the capital city of Canada did not.

Armed with the information that they where others like me in the world I set forth with the task of starting a group here in Ottawa, or at least finding a few other kindred souls like my self.

But how to reach the others here in OTTAWA that was the problem, advertise no that would not work, I had high profile job with a high tech firm and did not want to risk my job.

Well, since I could not go to them I decided that they would have to come to me. I contacted the Distress Center to offer my self and phone number to provide a contact point for crossdressers that called and needed to talk to someone.

They rejected me, as I did not have any formal psychological degree or training in the social services, I suppose I could not blame them after all I was an unknown to them.

With one strike against me I tried the OTTAWA Gay Line, I called and asked where they would reference a heterosexual male crossdresser to and at first they were stumped but after a few seconds I said you could reference them to me.

I setup an appointment an meet with a number of the staff of the pink triangle, armed with the photos of my self at Kennedy, the group in Florida and the information I had from TRIESS I met with them and after answering many questions I was excepted as a reference point for us.

It took a number of months for the calls to start to come in but slowly I begin to build a group here, screening all members my self.

The screening was simple, just to meet me at a little restaurant in the area and talk for a short while, I was always dressed as a male and as a manager I had a good sense of where or not a person is being honest with me, the only real requirement being a sincere interest in cross dressing.

After I had massed a whopping size of 5 members I begin holding meetings at my home, there were no dues, membership cards, or rules just a friendly safe place to meet.

The members were free to come dressed if they were comfortable with being outside that way or they could dress after they arrived, I had a 3 bed room town house and 1 and a half bath rooms so there was no fighting for a mirror to fix your makeup.

It was not long before we had decided to give our selves a group name NEW OTTAWA WOMEN or N.O.W.

The meetings continued and after a short time we had badgered Alison into writing the first edition of Notes From The Underground dated Winter 88/89 No.1, a two page Blurb with a picture of the members on the last page, I still have my copy.

I would assure that there was food, soft drinks, and kept a case of beer in the refrigerator, all this ensured a fun time at the meetings.

I had a few books and one news letters from the TRI-ESS group and made them available to all for reading but soon the others stared to bring there own stash of information and that was the start of our present library.

Well, after 15 years the group has a membership that is in the 100+ area, has it’s own phone number, It’s even listed in the phone book, and regular meetings. I’m not as active as I used to be and the changes and improvements to the group have come from the hard work of others plus the natural growth that comes from any living thing.

Personal restrictions prevent me from attending the meetings but when I get the chance go to a meeting I will and all thought I may not show it I receive a great sense of personal pride in what has come from these small beginnings.