October 30, 2008
I now have access to a scanner. Which means I can do all sorts of fun things: make a webcomic, and also write some whimsical and unwhimsical observations and basically merge my diary with this.
Also, I think I'm going to give up on this whole gender-ambiguity-on-the-internets thing... gender is more important than it seems when I'm writing and doodling my blog.
Girls in grade eight...it's amazing in retrospect how much they were all learning about getting along with people, while I daydreamed about being one of the smiling popular people in their pictures.
October 26, 2008
I try to be objective when I read a book. But even with that in mind, I do assume things about the book based on what I know about the author. That's why I'm really happy that Leslie is an ambiguous name. (Feel free to guess which anatomy parts I have - .)
It's funny when you think about it, but girls and guys both hide things. Girls tend to cover up any little human imperfections with makeup - cover-up, foundation, lip gloss, and then lots of time spent on her eyes with eye shadow, eyeliner, and mascara. (And yes I just listed off different types of makeup.) She is presenting an image to the world, and an important social thing for girls is whether she is pretty.
Guys also present an image to the world. Not with makeup, but in his actions and attitudes he presents an image of someone who is strong and doesn't get emotional. He doesn't show any weakness because that apparently means he figuratively doesn't have balls. Heaven forbid if someone pities him. A man will hide his feelings because that is the way he is expected to be and the image he wants to project.
Movies and television reinforce these ideas - it seems like a lot of the time male characters tend to get the more emotionally involved parts, and female characters are there to look pretty and be the object for the guy to eventually kiss at the end. When you see a movie and a male character cries it's more interesting than when a female character cries.
Everything has exceptions, but these things I've noticed in general. I try to notice things like that.
October 24
Whenever someone asked my how my year of travelling was, I'm always really vague with my answer. Oh, it was interesting. Their culture was different than ours, they didn't have many personal belongings, but the scenery was nice.
The understatement is completely intentional.
As a general rule, I'm usually calm and don't let things affect me very much, and I'm not very chatty about my feelings. I don't let it bother me too much if someone dislikes or thinks they're superior to me, but I do what I can to avoid being pitied. So I don't tell people how difficult that year was, I just tell them it was interesting.
I kept a journal some of the time, but I haven't looked at it since I got back. It has loose pieces of paper, and ripped pages. The top corner is blackened and burnt. A few of the pages were written in water-soluble ink and are no longer legible.
I'm going to piece it together because I need to tell my story. It's been a year since I got back, and throughout that year I've tried not to think about anything I did or didn't do, anyone I helped or didn't help.
I'm opening up my journal for the first time since I got home. I'm going to ignore that stain, and start remembering my story...
It's Mole day
I was debating whether or not I want to make this blog. It eats up my time like a chocoholic does to two-bite brownies.
And I can't afford to have all my time eaten up because I want to get into co-op. For co-op you need an A-minus(?) but since I didn't get into co-op to begin with i need to get higher than that. If i don't get into co-op i'll not get a job after i graduate, or i wouldn't know what to do with one if i got it.
It's also a Thursday. Thursdays make me think of Firefly. I was obsessed with Firefly last year, but decided not to watch the episodes any more than once because any stories lose their charm once you already know exactly what happens next (cough cough Harry Potter.) But I just remembered how awesome Firefly is...I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder.