I envy autumn, its brave face, the way it paints routine in a brand new shade, can change the world with a breath.  For me, the season sneaks in with its own significance: divorced and remarried in autumn, gained and later lost a child. I watched my dreams burn in the distance on a night weighed down with early snow and I remember now how I thought in that moment that the universe was burning, was turning to ash.

And so it comes again, this time of letting go and beginning.  I find myself fighting the urge to hide, to sketch a lonely barn on a west facing hillside in my mind.  My doubts could fill the corners like cats, my own self loathing could form like a film on the window, could block out the most beautiful sunset this world has ever known.  I could set down my celebrations in fear of funerals, could swear it is too hot or too cold for dreaming.  I could mourn the trees, their fading green, their bared souls and I could sleep through this season, deny its harvest, all its lovely fruit.

Or I could fill my lungs with courage, tilt my trembling chin, busy my tentative hands.  I could move across this dusty floor, throw the door open wide on my life.  I could make my way to the center of the field, gather strength with every step.  I could look back to where the day began and imagine where it will end, all those miles it still has to travel.  I could smile, sigh, and I could color now any shade I liked. 

I could do this, you know.  I swear I could.

With a welcome to autumn, I'm pleased to offer Lily's October, with interviews of John Amen and Lewis Lehrman and poetry by John Amen, Arlene Ang, Uma Asopa, Adam Parez, Peter Schwartz and Tony Zurlo.  Frank Ard continues his Chasing Destiny series, and fiction is also provided by Shane O'leary.  Art/ Photography is supplied by Jill Burhans, Jeff Crouch, Rob Davies, Lewis Lehrman, Maurizio Malangone, Mitch Miller and Donnali Peters.

I'd like to thank all of the contributors; John and Lewis for the interviews; my dear friend Patricia Gomes for her work, dedication and for brightening an otherwise dark day by telling me about her trip to the corner store.  Thanks to my team of editorial assistants: Sarah, Kristi, Justin, Jenny, Nicole and Sam.  I appreciate you all.

And if you're reading this, thanks to you too... whoever you are.

'Til next time.