Again something moving completely against and out of logic and even then the one side is not getting proper attention, which made me back to write something again.
I am commenting on the newly started debates over the wrong message giving communities, especially through Orkut and not only debates and talk shows but even cases are started to be filed. The fundamentalist are with the arguments over communities like “We hate India”, “Call Girls from Mumbai” and so and so. There are also communities offending Indian holy God and Goddesses and yes, it is justified when you say that something should be done in regards to this, but A Ban???? No way ……
First let me present some facts about Orkut. Before Orkut and other such sites, the way to talk to people; whom you really never going to meet usually as they are very much away from you in distance or they are from very much different backgrounds or they belong to some other class of society or they might be belonging to some other country; was through messengers and chat rooms. But it was something very unstable; it was much easy to create a fake ID in minute and then login into some chat room to meet a new world, completely hiding your identity. It was never easy to trace someone, if offending or abusing in some public room. Ofcourse, the option to report someone abuse was there but practically that was not that effective. Moreover, at each login the crowd and the names in chat rooms were different, so people were tending to move into in initial days and then out with some IDs and then constrained within only those persons. It was sure spoiling the concept of an open world and was not enough to create a more reliable, stable world, in which you could meet some real persons, who might think about you selflessly and could provide a real positive and third person perspective about your problems.
So, websites like Orkut and Hi!! came in existence as answers to the loopholes in chat rooms and messenger services. Don’t compare it with dating sites like AdultFriendFinder as the motive and categories of both the sites are completely different from each other.
Orkut!! First of all, for moving into Orkut, you need a valid invitation from someone else and it will be kept in the database of Orkut and also the person, who has given you the invitation to join the community will be joined in you friend list. So, it was the initial phase. Now, let me tell you the things more categorically. The template of Orkut for presenting someone’s profile was much easier and also easy to maintain and day by day, it was changing for better and better and also with continuous removal of drawbacks. First of all, to get attention, one needs to make a profile, which will be having three sections; General information, professional information and then personal information. Although user is free to put only that information as he/she wishes, but even then it imposes a restriction as then your profile will not seem much attractive to others. Next phase is pictures, which is actually creating a problem for management purposes as well as creating problems like nude pics here too. But this (snaps) is sure one of the most prominent and honest way to attract people to you and also it is scientific fact that people remember faces more than names. So, definitely keeping pics in profile was justified, although it is sure a burden to web-space management of Google, who now owns this community.
The best feature of Orkut is its open scrapbook and completely accessible friend network, which guarantees that it is not that easy to create a fake identity and then being suddenly disappeared without leaving a trace behind you, as definitely, one’s friend network is likely to contain many real friends because as far as being friend is concerned then it is completely up to you. Watch someone’s acts and collect information about him/her from his/her social circle and then you could formally ask for friendship. Now as about open and accessible by anyone Scrap Book also presents a third person perspective of any user means a close view of the way of talking of some person and also a picture of that what other people think about the one as writing scraps to someone is like speaking in public and all this even before actually talking/chatting to the person. Definitely, it is much more reliable than ever.
Now, coming to more issues, Orkut is one site which is not supporting any kind of advertisements and also users are not allowed to post picture messages in open scrap books, they could only put pictures as display pics of their own identity or their community display pics.
As was the main issue of offending communities, then I think it is easier to encounter with nude pics and offers while surfing even Government and New sites, because of Spywares and Non-existence of any policy to stop such advertisements. Most of the time, Spywares sets cookies for them in your PC and then they will continue to come again and again, without you actually ask for them.
Anyway, I was moving to technical side, let me keep it simple. Like the real world, where it is always possible to get magazines and a lot of other adult material, how was it possible to keep it completely away from Net world and even from Orkut world.
Orkut has become such a large network, which contains students from each and every big institution and professionals from each and every big or small company (even if Orkut is banned in that company). If you are looking for some odd names as community then you should also check that there are communities from names almost all the big companies and institution, who are really providing the way to communicate between alumnae, batchmates and juniors. When in this world getting jobs and motivations for right side is getting rare and rarer, and then being at a place, where you could really come to meet much experienced and co-operating persons to consult about anything even before doing anything. Getting links in the industry was always a problem for everyone even if they were having one, then sometimes the changing contacts and fields were creating problems. Definitely traditional flaws like immature affections, addiction and habitual ignorance to the real world are here too but this could be said to be much mature form of conversation at the global level. I have found a lot of my seniors from very old batches working for big companies and many of them have provided my friends even shelters and supports in their cities and even in countries even on meeting for the very first time. In now days, when someone from professional courses got selected into Infosys then he/she first check for the profile in the Infosys community, so that could get in touch with some of them before actually joining or not joining them. Can’t people look at this positive side? As about bad things then really there are very few as the members of Orkut mostly are from educated youth from all over the world, so are much active in offending such nasty attempts and offending communities as soon as they got to know about them.
As about offending communities, then I, myself have seen even the honest attempt was getting tempered in these way, when some people started to use the popularity and coverage of Orkut as a medium to spread their products and thoughts means purely for business purposes. But it was really not that easy as Orkut provides you the way to make someone spam by just clicking a button. As about community, then I think for the first time, I encounter with a bad community three months ago, which was seriously offending “Goddess Durga”. As legal ways exists in the real world, there were ways too, I made the request spreading out to report this community and its owner as bogus and it worked. According to rules of Orkut, if more than 100 different users reports someone or some community bogus, then Orkut automatically removes that and this is really quick. After that I got similar message back to me about the community named “We Hate India”, whose most of the members were from Pakistan and one Hindu girl and a few Muslim boys from India too. Definitely, it was an offending material and got the same fate means got deleted by Orkut, because of active participation of Orkut users to keep the place neat and clean.
I am afraid that because of popularity of Orkut, now Politicians and News Personals are pointing their guns to Orkut as they done in case of blogs few months ago. It is something like keeping females under curtains to keep them away from bad eyes or campaigning for banning Co-Education Institutions as they leads to love affairs. But it is not funny anymore.
The concept of banning blogs came from such a part of society, who was standing in favour of paintings of “Maqbool Fida Hussain” in the name of “Right to speak”. Definitely, blogs were a strong enough medium for professionals and intelligent students to express, when even Political Parties and TV-Channel were being suppressed from speaking anything against the issue, which was clearly looking to be completely out of logic but we were not having any power to do something as we have chosen the Government for five years and when after fighting to each other in most intense way in West Bengal, they come to join their hands to form the Government, then they are really not responsible or answerable to anyone. What a helpless crowd of much qualified students could do about it? Not all of them are in journalism and not all of them could take parts in ‘Dharanas’ and ‘Stirrs’, ofcourse, blogs are only medium to such crowd, who even on being right side and doing all hard works, feel helpless. What you could expect from News Channels and New Papers, when they are in either direct or indirect control of Government, because their dependency about license renewals and paper permits?
Anyway, I am again moving away from the main topic. Yes! Some bad elements are popping in Orkut too now and definitely it is likely to be increased more and more as now News Channels and Fundamentalist have moved in the way to publicize the few bad spots only on the almost perfectly clear white wall. But as like the real world, we have weapons against such things (like reporting them as bogus) and till yet, we have been using our rights in right ways.
In now days, Blogs and Orkut like sites came as the most prominent medium for highly qualified, undoubtedly talented and very judgmental youth of nation, so I request from Orkut Supporters to much much more active to avoid and restrict such activities and from Fundamentalist to keep their eyes away from us.
Definitely, there are a lot of things to speak but I know this is your time to speak, so I will wait for comments from reader’s side.
A lot of hip-hop and blah blah, that’s why I am forced to write again after many days. Interestingly this time, it is not an issue like reservation or lowering value of parliamentary sessions, it is a movie named Kabhi Alvida Na Kahana.
A lot of my friends have discussed about this movie and most of them were not satisfied with this movie, although at the same time, most of them were satisfied with Krrish, as after watching this movie you need not to think about the movie and there was no message with it, but with KANK they have the problem, because it has something, which makes them think.
The allegations were like this; after introducing Valentine Day and Friendship Bands, now the party is coming to break the relations. Firstly, they were targeting young kids and now they are targeting the marriages, Indian Culture and faith in personal relations. And most unfortunate is that they have a large audience and even if we condemned them very hard, they are going to make there destructive ideas to public in their ways and we are unable to anything.
Not only India but outside India, in Asia and Overseas, the comments are coming in the similar ways. In fact, I was a little scared about writing on the same as even my best friend was very angry on it although she was the greatest fan of SRK movies usually. Anyway, coming to the point, the movie, its feel and character.
The question is that what message this movie is giving to public? Is it to break their traditional relations? Or to cheat the persons, who are very much devoted to you, and might be finding the ways to please you and you are finding the ways to come out of relations? Are they trying to give the bad image of Indian community and the new generations?
My answer is something different as usual. According to me, there was really no direct message for the mass, there was no solution but it was the presentation of situations and a raised question. Is this really far from our life?
In almost each serial being telecasted on small screen, there are more than enough extra-marital affairs, but we knew that they have not that large audience, so we were ignoring till yet, but this time thing was scaring us.
Personally I found the movie excellent and giving the right kind of message with perfect presentation. A lot of movies have been on the same topic but in their presentations, there were some common points. They were showing the relations, in which one sides were a little wrong and the people getting into in these extra-martial affairs were feeling guilty and finally the story was ending with making them back to their original relations.
But this time, there was neither guilt feeling nor the happy ending in traditional style. What the hell they are thinking to define? I am not coming to the conclusion that I have planned to write in the last part of the Article.
Ok! I am starting from the positive points of movie. It presents the best situations that you may loose your partner, even if you are always enough flexible to be changed to hold your partner tide up with you. How it could happen and why? We are watching movie and feeling that there were mistakes by Dev and Maya most of the time; they were looking out of their marriages not Rishi and Riya. But if we really think so then we will not be able to stop the things like this, it is reality and ignoring problems do not solve them. Find the solutions that could we do something more than that what Rishi or Riya did to save their marriages, to make their marriages succeed. Do we have no solutions really?
Dev; a person, who is highly emotional and want to be the best to help and care others and trying to spread joy and happiness all over, always smiling and making people smile, caring people even if they are just strangers. Do you know no one wants to care about others from inside; they do care for others because from somewhere inside they need the same thing back to them. We try to be ideal to others so that may find someone, who may care for them and could feel them, when they are not saying anything, just smiling. Problem is that they attract people like Dev might have made Riya attracted towards him in his college life, which were impressed by their ways thinking that the person will take care of them. But answer me; was he looking for a person whom he could care of? There might be already many friend with whose problems he was already messing up not expecting anything back to him. Doesn’t he has the right to expect someone more caring for him, something rewarding his attitude towards life till yet?
The story started when Dev was already married from last five years. A final football match of Dev and a turning point of career for Riya. Dev missing her Riya, who I am sure was an active one in his matches in old days but not getting time now for the only visible thing that Dev likes. Riya missing her best friend, who was sure caring and encouraging in her old days for her career. Tell me who was mistaking? From these all things, most of us missed one thing, which was being felt by Dev, it was their wedding anniversary and what he got from Riya, just a last line of conversation saying “Happy Anniversary, Dev” and then the phone was disconnected without hearing that what Dev might have planned for the day. He gave her the biggest gift as much he was best capable to give, a five million contract, his dream, which was known by Riya too but there was no one to celebrate with him one of the best moment of his life, his anniversary and his dream day. But even this was not enough to make his feelings be cared by his love, if it was.
Just think about the man, who lost his leg and so career, when he was at the biggest turn of his career, a five millions contract. Do you know what that was meant to him? After that he was the leading one in his family and then he was for the first time about get the thing after which he was able to answer everyone about him and his career. Moreover after that there was a possibility to get his love back to him as probably then she will get time for him. He was wishing rights without caring the others as was knowing that he was already much caring.
But ………
Maya; A girl who likes that someone make her feel that she has something, who likes that there should be someone who may make her laugh without feeling embraced that what people will say. A girl, who used to be quiet all over and only thinking and thinking, but wont be like that all over. She just wants to live her own life as she watches in movies and novels. A girl who want to live with all the beauty of nature, want to feel each and everything that might be coming in a relationship. She is just tired of being cared and really wanted to make her life moving her own ways. A girl, who lost her parent in her childhood and then were living with the help of Rishi and his father, started to teach little children as was thinking to be independent and as was not any technical backgrounds because of money problems I think, so there was no other option than teaching. But she was always feeling that something is missing and she is not living a life as someone happy should live.
Three year; a total of three years were taken by her to say yes to marry Rishi. In which way she grown up, things are getting so obvious for her. Like it was looking obvious to everyone that she will marry Rishi and Rishi will propose her some day. She just hated to be so obvious but what option she was having. To refuse Rishi? Why? There was not any fault of him. Why she was not feeling that special thing for him. Everything was just like 2+2=4. She was asking for her own life, but it continued in the same way as her childhood was. She was not expected to be that much quiet; she wants to talk but feels her so constrained in everything. In straight way, she was never wishing that Rishi may fall in love with her, she was thinking to go much much away from Rishi and her father, not because she don’t like then but because she was thinking to live on her own. But she was not thinking to hurt them. It was a kind of Ehsaan feeling that was making herself away from her and she was getting inside and away from whole world, parties and friends, that’s why never tried to make friends from her side.
The best bad thing with her happened that she was not able to have child of her own. As much you will try to do not make her realize, she will find ways to feel the pain. She was wishing to be with someone, who has his own life and nature and who don’t really show her that he cares for her, just care from his inside and rest all the time, he might be behaving unserious and making her too. She just wanted to live life for world and without caring anyone. She did not like only cleaning as Dev said her Wafadar Jamadar. But it was a way to make her busy and away of thought as she was always saying to herself that everything is fine. You are having a perfect loving husband, what else you need more?
Just think about the statement when she said that “Tum meri kis duniya ka hissa ho, Rishi” and he answered “Tum ghar saaf karma chahati thi”. Just think how disappointed she was as a clean house in not her priority at all, she was expecting something else which her partner may figure out on his own. Just think what she said to Dev at that raining day “Jo mujhe samajh sake, samajha sake, mere halaat pahchan sake”, everything of her was in those words. She was wishing to live an informal life, in which her partner might use abusive words about others means totally careless about her female existence and the best if he really care for her feeling from inside without expressing and always knowing when she is needing something. There was something, which was not even known to Maya herself that somehow she was now a teacher from her inside means one habitual of caring others not being cared. She was needed a careless partner not the one who care for her as according to her, she was just the perfect one to care someone, if given the chance. She was wishing to change her personality completely means wishing to be a part of the crowd but there was no way till she was with persons between whom she has grown up. I don’t know that she was right or not.
Rishi; He is really a character from every one of us, most of the viewers were having sympathy for him and sometime even I thought that one should. A boy, grown up with very much emotional, sentimental and understanding father. Someone who really know about the things and feelings. From the start of the life, he learned to take the responsibility and caring others as even having enough feeling and sense of responsibility towards him, his father was a bit away from traditional father. Rishi has seen a girl from his childhood and was always curious to know about her as much as possible but she was a mystery for him from the all those years. Whenever he thought about love, only one name was coming in his eyes. He finally named his curiosity as the traditional one. He was thinking to care for her wife as much he could. But from the first day, she was abnormal for him, sometime he thought that he understand her, sometime, he thought he not.
When we like someone then sometime we talk with her so much that even she doesn’t know, as everything might be happening in our thoughts. We smile, laugh and cry in that world and pose our loved one as the best one doing everything, which we wish, he actually should do. He was trying hard to get her and even he was not getting her. Really, it is a troubling situation for me or anyone else, that what to do in this stage. One way is never talking to her on the same issue and always talking to her on various issues other than likeness of her and another way was to be away from her with happy smile without making her feel that she is doing something wrong to him.
But right now, even I am not sure that what was the right solution? The only mistake done by Rishi was that he was looking for the things which are visible to him, perhaps he was not capable for looking the things in a complete perspective. He never come to understand that what exactly Maya is wishing for. He tried almost al the ways to show that he loves her but when the same words even if they are much much true and sincere, come to someone’s way almost everyday then they come to loose their feel and touch. There were the words, the touch but nothing was touching Maya’s heart. Although he was knowing that too and at his side, he tried his best to touch
Riya; I don’t know while presenting career oriented girls/boys, why the story writers come to be a bit rude. She started with her introduction with the words that “Meri personal life aur professional life dono alag alag hai”. Many smart and practical people will come to angry with me, if I comment something bad on her attitude. Perhaps I have something to say or I haven’t anything. She was sexy, confident and smartest or almost the best for her career. In fact, while making our career and professional woks, it is obvious that we come to wish some responsibilities but there is blade edge balance between the things, don’t forget. She was just perfect for everyone except the one whom she loved most and because of her busy schedules, she never come to find the actual reasons but was just being irritated. Even if she was trying her hard but her smiles and nature which was outside was not inside her home. Yes! Dev was much more rude and irritating with her but was there no way else?
There are always two ways; one easy and one which may seem impossibly hard. Obviously, we come to choose the easy way most of the time, after failing many times from passing through the difficult way and this makes the difference between normal and great people. For her there were two ways, one way was to make her busy in a life where everyone was admiring her and the another way was trying to change the attitude of her partner, who was looking like a kind of being away from her.
She was just given up because she was not finding anything wrong from her side. She was thinking that her all best efforts are never going to make her husband realize that how much hard wok, she do to take care of the family and him, how much care she is showing to him. She was thinking that when she is not only just more than average but almost the best for each one outside her home, then why everything was wrong, when she was coming back to home in every eve.. And when Dev needed her besides his all irritations, she was just giving up and was happy in making herself busy. Sure, people will have sympathy towards her and I am too.
She was even much much more reliable and honest towards the relations than all the three other characters but she was not wishful to express the same as was thinking that other side should understand, because that was the reason for which she loved Dev in the beginning as he was understanding without even hearing any words from her side. She just thought that his husband is jealous and in complex. Yes! He was feeling complex, but she never got an effective way to remove that and even I am not sure that I could give any solution.
Her husband was just needing that sometime she may give time to him and family on the cost of career sometime. He was just some selfish for a while. He always knew that she is doing all the good things for him, but when he never expresses his other feelings, then why come he will express his admiration for her? His way was different to show her care and one of which was that five millions contract, which he come to loose unfortunately. Riya really tried hard but she was just loosing the end of string. She was a perfect one to be wife of almost anyone.
Do you know overall what the problem with everyone was? Everyone was trying to be the perfect and in relations, sometimes and in fact not sometimes, but every time, it is necessary to make the other side feel that he/she is perfect. And we do not need to show this by saying to them or caring to them but in a way, they could not realize that we were praising and admiring them. Winning someone’s heart is not so difficult and does not need a lot of literature kind of words nor the big and romantic surprises, it just need little things, which may make your breaths stopped for a while and heart beating. Understanding someone every time is never easy as human kind is always the lazy and no one wants to put his/her professional time into thinking, but do you think that it is really impossible to understand people?
Yes!! You loose yourself so many times in this battle to know someone but if you give up then you will never ever get the same thing back to you.
Above all the allegations against this movie, this is a best presentation of thoughts and situations and moreover with the best selection of culture and nature of characters. It was the first attempt to show that you may loose even if you are the best. It is the ground reality of breaking marriages in now days; never think that it is not with you.
A lot of questions and a lot of things, but note that I am not giving up. Really have a lot to say but all that will be only one side. So, need to hear from other people that where I am missing the things. See, I admit that even I could not live all the four characters, so can’t explain them completely, so yours comments are invited to make this discussion complete.
Web links::
Orkut Profile:
Email ID:: mr.nitish.kumar@gmail.com
