[18 Jan 2005]
Okay. Today I got this email from a friend of mine I met at maths camp last year, but I've seen her a million times since then. I last saw her at this test, where basically you get a whole lot of eighth grade standard tests put in front of you and you... like... do them. But only those who are apparently gifted are allowed, to narrow down the competition, which makes it slightly annoying. Well... the purpose of it mainly is for parents to get a piece of paper determinating what should be done with a kid regarding academic extension, a piece of paper to shove in the face of a schoolteacher saying that their child should skip a year because the bit of paper said that's what should be done. But y'know, I've been doing it for the last three years (when I was in your four, I did better than my smartish friend did last year, year six) and each time it said that I should skip up a year, my parents have asked the teachers time and time again, but they won't budge. Heh, it must go against their good Catholic values. Anywho, if you get in the top 80 people in that test, you get to go to this cool camp for a week, the purpose is to meet people with the same apparently superior intellectual level. You also pretty much get classified as one the 80 brainiest kids in Australia. And... bad thing... my friend got in... and I didn't. I WAS THE 81ST BEST! I WAS ONE FUCKING PERSON OFF GETTING IN! I AM SO PISSED! I wish... I WISH in that maths test I just hadn't thrown down my pencil and gone 'Ah, stuff it' and stopped doing it. Bloody stupid me. As it turns out, these people were going to be on the news, apparently the smartest kids in Australia. But also, they are the nerdiest, the ones who can actually concentrate in a test. And my friend who got in just isn't smarter than me, and that makes me pissed. She's just not the one whose mother is nagging at her thinking she has ADD (that's me, though it probably isn't true). But yeah. She's not smarter than that, but she and everyone else has reason to believe that. Meh, whatever. I found out they were going to be on the news because that stuck up bitch emailed me -

Hey everybody! Hope ur all having a great holiday. BTW I'll be on tv 2nite. if u want to see me it's A Current Affair, Channel Nine, 6:30 pm. They're doing a piece on a camp 4 gifted kids that i went 2 at the UNSW last week. They came 2 my house and interviewed me and my parents.they stayed 4 like 2 hours, but we'll rpobably be on 4 like 12 seconds. I hope they didn't catch me on national tv when my skirt flipped up playing a game. That would be embarrassing! Have a gr8 rest of the holiday. Cu l8er at school next next week (those who go 2 my school). I can't wait. Luv, Morgan

GIFTED SCHMIFTED! We don't care! You're just being a stuck up bitch! I just decided to be a supportive friend and watch it on the news anyway, but they cancelled that bit because they took too long going on about Mark Latham's resignation. I'm kinda glad, because that email alone brought tears of envy to my eyes for some stupid reason.

[17 Jan 2005]
9:38 PM//
Current happy thought -

And...


9:31 AM//
God, this angst just WILL NOT go away! It is PISSING ME OFF! I can't be bothered to do anything but just sit here on this goddamn computer wasting my life away just typing and going square-eyed, but that's the way it's been for two years, so meh. God... god... god... crap... crap... crap... why me... why me... why me... Meh. I finally added the links, link to and the characters page to the site, just so you know.

[16 Jan]
God, three days of pure emoangst. And it's pissing me off. And it's not about to go away either. I am serious, the holidays are driving me literally insane, despite how much I love them. Me, it should be good to go back to school, kind of. At least for the first week of it. Meh. Why... why... why...

[14 Jan 2005]
Surprisingly enough, I haven't heard anything from the bitches. I don't understand how they could possibly ignore an email from /me/! Ah, meh. It's easy I suppose, because I am such a damn pain to be around. I think people get turned off instantly at the mere sight of my name on the email. Dude, meh.

[12 Jan 2005]
I had fun at the SHLEEPOVA. This morning we went over to Chatswood Chase, the shopping centre near her and went to Max Brenner's Chocolate Bar, which is pretty much this BEAUTIFUL chocolate cafe. It's practically a work of art! We had Belgian waffles covered in melted chocolate and strawberries and suckaos, these cool little things where there is a cup above a little candle that is used to keep the milk hot, it looks a little bit like an oil burner. You can choose between white, milk and dark chocolate chips to put in the hot milk and it melts over the candle into the milk. I had dark chocolate. I now feel considerably fatter.

But I came home to find this in my inbox -

From: "elle g" [elleg_lifesgood@hotmail.com] To: mousey2692@hotmail.com, mad111cad@hotmail.com, elmo_361@hotmail.com, anastasiatheblonde@hotmail.com, kitkatkaity@hotmail.com, miss_piggy15@hotmail.com CC: puppy_love_chezzie@hotmail.com, mush_kush@hotmail.com, slavo_sucks@hotmail.com, checola_foal@hotmail.com, pookie404_8@hotmail.com Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 06:09:03 +0000 i am forading this to you becxause i know u know none of it is true and know catlin is a royal beeeeeeeep!........................................................
..................................................... ps: do read this and send catlin s hate mail!

Hah, the bitch who is meant to be my friend. Isn't she delightfully thick? I will start the story from the beginning. A more distant friend of mine insulted gay people. I got mad at her, so I sent this to all my class, no, it's not such a charming thing to do, but I don't regret it -

Hate to do this... no. I LOVE to do this. Eliza, pay attention. I think you deserve this public humiliation. Everyone else, do read because... I have reason to believe that Eliza Morgan judges people by their sexual orientation (as in, gay and lezzo), which is a form of DISCRIMINATION. I am quite sure of this, because of a certain MSN conversation, and through my own stupidity, I neglected to save it for the sake of evidence.

Know and remember, discrimination is everywhere, though most of the people who discriminate against sexuality, religion and race DENY it as Eliza did and will. To finish off her childish deeds, she blocked me. She didn't block my emails though. Don't hold anything against her, and I doubt you will, and don't hold anything against me. I just had to do this. And Eliza needed it. I feel strongly about these issues. Give me hatemail if you are that immature, I won't care. Actually, I find it amusing.

- Caitlin

Yes, I know, not lovely. This led to the first email I told of, and another email from another less thick girl who claims to be my best friend but isn't; Laura.

Caitie, that was really IMMATURE . wot evidence do u have that she is against sexual differences? well, huh, cumon,tell me... oh yeh, this is an email. any way it was really b***** an un founded acusation in my oppinoin and Elle's and Tina's so yeh bi.

Yeah, great. What a hypocrite, calling -me- immature when she is more so. Bitch. So I sent out this email.

How cute, hatemail. You guys have to realise that that Elle TOTALLY lacks integrity. Why would you obey some snotty-nosed, FUCKING THICK, bitchy hypocrite?

If you're on Elle's side of this ridiculous argument, well FUCK YOU.

If you are backing me up... my love to you < 3

There'll be more, I know it. And clearly, my friends are FUCKING THICK BITCHES. I know... I know. The one I slept over with is smarter and from my old school, not my current school. Or should I say she just graduated from primary school at my older old school and the emails are from people in my old class at my old school because I just left that school rather than continuing to the senior school there because I got into SMART SCHOOL unlike those idiots.

[11 Jan 2005]
Tonight I am going to my friendsie's house for a SHLEEPOVA! We're gunna watch The Castle and School of Rock. It shall be cool. I like shleepovahs. They are coolz0rz. Yeah.

[10 Jan 2005]
I love tuna sandwiches. They're so yummy. Especially when it's tuna in extra virgin olive oil. On ciabatta bread. But today I had to make do with turkish bread. And I suck at cutting all kinds of bread. It turns out all crooked. I've been on the computer all day. Naughty me. I am so useless, am I not?

[9 Jan 2005]
I think too much. And if I think about things I really don't like to think about I just totally die. Especially when I am really thinking, especially when what I am thinking is true... and... ah, nevermind.

[1 Jan 2005]
Happy New Year! I bothered to stay up until midnight last night, and I stood on the balcony off my room to listen to everybody screaming and shouting exactly when midnight struck and I watched the fireworks. They are magnificent in Sydney, they have them springing up off the harbour bridge and stuff. Cool as. I've posted up a couple of poems, more are coming when I have the time to put more up, but right now I am rushing off on holidays and will be back in eight days. I don't even want to go, God that sucks...

[29 Dec 2004]
So. I finally decided to try and get this thing up and running. Let's see how it works... It won't, most probably.