She was groaning in pain. She badly wanted our love, care and concern at that moment. But we took it as another 'act' to gain our sympathy. We ignored her, including myself who was just sleeping directly beside her. I  felt irritated, instead of feeling sympathetic towards my granny's needs. I could not sleep for that entired night because of all my granny's groaning. I turned and tossed frequently to make my granny noticed my frustration. Never did I ever thought that my granny's illness needed serious attention then. I heard her last breath at around 5am the next morning.I heard her let out a weak sigh before she quieten down. The whole room was filled with nothing but silence. I thought that my granny finally went to sleep, so did I who resigned to bed soon after that. At around 6am that morning,I was awaken up by my shocked father. I realised that Granny has passed away. I would never forgive myself. I was guilty of my granny's death. If only i had shown more care, if only i went to her granny's plea, if only...

Everything is too late now... too late... My granny was 84 when she left. She was finally freed from all worries and problems of this polluted society. She no longer has to face the fear of loneliness, no more.... no more...

I cried everyday when my granny's image came to my mind. I missed her, kept on apologising to my granny silently in her heart. But my granny is gone. Never to be back again. Never again...

Have you felt so lost in a world where everything just doesn't seem to go right for you? Have you felt so lonely in your life when all those beside you abandoned you? Have you ever felt so betrayed when every of your loved ones conspired against you? Have you felt so confused in your life when everyone just started saying the opposites about you? Have you ever lost your freedom in life when people started ordering you around, demanding what you should do, and even threatening you?

Fret not if you are experiencing anyone of the above, for you are not alone. I am going through all these. Being left in an isolated world, to defend for myself is always not easy. I am only 20 this year, going to be 21 soon. Am i young or old enough to know what is good for myself? To take care of myself? I'm not too sure... I am living a life, without a 'life'. My movements are controlled. My future is ruined. There is nothing left for me to fight for, for me to feel glad about. 

I have friends, and family members to talk to. But i've began to keep all my emotions, feelings, sadness, to msyelf. No longer would i trust anyone, not even my beloved parents, not even my lover whom i swear that i will love for life! I have been betrayed by them all! Yes, by ALL MY LOVED ONES! I know nuts about what i want to do next. I only know that i am filled with hatred, and i will seek for my revenge even till the day i die.

I had a best friend in Secondary school. She had been my friend for 8 years before she took my ATM card and stole my money from my bank.

I had a best friend when i was in college. We discussed about anything, bought similar items, shared similar interests and we were as close as sisters. She secretly like my bf, secretly sms him to express her emotion for him, and secretly change me to be a worse person.

I have a few friends in University now. We joked frequently and i shared my feelings and life stories with one of them. I thought we are quite close. I helped her sometimes. But to think that when i need help, she just dumped me aside. I should have known earlier that she treated me as nothing because she never take the initiative to contact me.

I have 2 rather close pals. They are Huiling who used to be my penpal, and Yanping who is my God-sister. We sms each other frequently n shared a lot of secrets. I have never met Huiling, and have not been meeting Yanping for around 7 years. I am not too sure what kind of friendship it will turn out to be when we meet up, and became closer. Will they betray me all again? Will we be able to remain the best of friends forever?