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NAVIGATION
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GloRiA (co-founder, editor, publisher, writer, and valued con-artist)
TiM (co-founder, editor, publisher, writer, and hypocrite extraordinaire)
SuZ (contributor and resident loony)
AlEx (contributor and over all slacker)
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Turdy here, I am so sick and
tired of those magnetic yellow support your troops ribbons for people's
cars. Okay, before the pitchforks start coming after me, you angry
townsfolk, let me explain. First off, has anyone actually read the
package that the little yellow magnet ribbon comes in? Or the glorious
red, white, and blue, with stripes and stars, how much more patriotic
can we get? Anyways, more than likely the answer is no! You were too
busy buying one so that when you pulled up at Wally World you
weren'tthe only car in the parking lot without one...so that to your
prized mini-van or super guzzler suv didn't get bashed in by a
patriotic Wally World greeter because your transportation lacked a
certain magnetic ribbon. Well, Turdy is all for supporting the troops,
but the company that actually makes those lovely displays of patriotism
clearly state that none of the proceeds go to the organization they are
promoting. But hey for a buck do you really care that not a single part
of your dollar bill is going towards helping the troops or which ever
organization your magnet is blantly claiming you support? HELLO,
Consumer America! So here youare trying to jump on the band wagon once
again, just like when you got a niffty car flag when that was cool for
like a week. It's getting old, if you want to really be cool...ban the
magnet making company and really support your troops or whichever
organization your magnet is saying you support. Turdy understands if
you have some obsessive compulsive disorder that makes you purchase
lame impulse items from Wally World.Or perhaps you are the poor idiot
standing there in line with all the other Wally World goers and saw the
hypnotizing magnet and thought you were actually making a dollar
contribution to our nation's troops or to breast cancer awareness. But
buyer beware there are tons of these magnets out there and not a single
cent goes to the organization, and the funny thing is the company
distributing them are doing nothing wrong because they have properly
informed the buyer by stately clearly in tiny print on the back
of the package. America please learn to read! Know what you are buying!
Good Tidings,
TuRdY
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Madam Zelda's HorribleScopes
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 Madam
Zelda has decided to expand her horizons by posting her
astrological readings on The Dung Beetle's site. She will be postings
her new readings and findings every month,, so check back to see what
the stars have in store for you!
 Aries:
This just hasn't been your month...you have been extremely cranky! And
guess what it is starting to piss us all off! Beware of angry
friends with handguns or lots of property in the woods.
 Taurus:
Your on happy pills aren't you? Can't deal with reality so you decide
to load up on some artificial happiness..well isn't that nice? I
predict something happy, like a car accident or you running over your
dog is likely.
 Gemini:
You won't ever learn will you? You can't keep being two-faced to those
who are close to you. I am seeing lots of lonely times ahead.
This may be a good time to invest in a pet, one that can't leave
or bite you...possibly a fish?
 Cancer:
Well it seems all is well in your world, except for the fact that your
car will be repossessed this week,. I am seeing this happen on a Monday
before work, I suggest getting up a l ittle earlier that day and take
your bagel to go...it is going to be a long walk.
 Leo:
Are you fond of your stuff? Have you been wanting to do a little spring
cleaning? Well, as the stars see it, you will be having that happen
this week. I foresee forced entry and a friend helping you clear out
some of that unwanted stuff, like a big t.v. and stereo. What a
nice friend, I just can't understand why he is taking your stuff to a
pawn shop?
Virgo:
Love is the air! You couldn't be happier, you are in your very own
la-la land with that special someone. Too bad they are sleeping with
your boss. Hey whatever it takes to climb that corporate ladder!
 Libra:
I am sensing you are trying to hard playing it cool, something is
eating at you. Madam Zelda says don't hold in the anger, use it to
better your community! You know you could always take a little road
trip to the white house and off the prez...never know might make you
feel better, plus you will be doing a huge service for the entire
country, that is even better than just your community!
 Scorpio:
You have been spending too much time in front of that computer and
trust me the blue haze that is glowing from your face is there for all
to see. Try doing something creative before you forget!
Sagittarius:
You have been having a stroke of bad luck or so you think!
Unfortunately, my friend this is your new life, welcome to,
everything that can go wrong will go wrong!
 Capricorn:
A big sum of money is going to come into to your hands, too bad the IRS is going to take most of it right back!!!
 Aquarius:
Madam Zelda senses that you are conflicted, you are being faced with a
huge decision. Perhaps the question lies in love, my advice to
you friend, go where the money is, love, lust, and looks are all
fleeting.
 Pisces: Things will be turning around for you, if not for you, certainly another pisces. Oh well better luck next time.
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The
Dung Beetle and Liquid Meat Productions will be offering a variety of
awesome stuff here pretty soon.Keep an eye out for bumper stickers,
t-shirts, and other goodies. You will be able to make donations and or
purchaces using paypal, money orders, and or credit cards. You can also
look for us on half.com and ebay.com for neat things we might be
offering.
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Feel free to drop us a line anytime, and thanks for all the feedback we have been receiving. Thanks for reading!
Email:
dungbeetle@antisocial.com or dungbeetle2004@yahoo.com
Snail Mail: Liquid Meat Productions
C/O The Dung Beetle
P.O. Box 104
Addy, WA 99101 USA
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This Many Turds Have Tumbled
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Copyright© 2004 Liquid Meat Productions All Rights Reserved
Create a
free website at Webs.com
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Fellow
turd tumblers please have a safe and very drunk St. Pat's Day! And
don't forget to wear that green or some creepy little midget posing as
a leprechaun might try to pinch your no-no's!